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Finding a stocking-wearing lover
8/24/2005 7:24 pm
Finding a stocking-wearing lover
Ladies should be wanted for more than just the stockings they wear, they are people also.
First find a woman you thoroughly enjoy who thoroughly enjoys you. This should ideally be done through friends or mutual acquaintances. Try your church or some other social environment. Stay away from bars, the Internet and dating services. Find someone geographically close to you. Time and distance can kill a relationship. And stop leading with your bottom line (stockings). You are setting yourself up as a mark for a con person.
After you've met the next significant other then, gradually introduce your fetish. Start with small gifts. At first it should be a book (not about stockings) or some other small (non-sexual) memento. Then, after a few months, if things are getting more intimate, you may wish to buy really nice stockings and a garterbelt set from a first class purveyor. But, don't do this before you have had intimate relations with her. Otherwise, she may consider you to be forward or assuming more than you should. Do more listening than talking and you will know when the time is right.
She may have a few fetishes of her own. And, you may find some of hers as unappealing as she may find some of yours. If she had read you her laundry list of kink before you had even begun dating her you may have been frightened off. But, once you have established a foundation of trust and love these other things can be added, or not. By then it may not matter to either of you.
But if it does matter to you, if you cannot be happy unless your significant other wears stockings either daily, or while making love, or both, you, sir, may have a decision to make. Take her as she is or start all over again with someone else and, in either case, hope for the best. If you decide to leave, be a man and tell her why. Make sure she understands its not her "fault". Its just the way it is for you.
And, one other thing, leave your first wife and any conversation, pictures and references totally out of your next relationship. Only speak of her when asked. No one wants to think they are being compared to, or are simply a replacement for, another person.
One's fetish can become obsessive. I trust you all understand. My intention is/has not been to offend. To anyone I have done so... I apologise.
But if one were ever to decide to exercise such forthrightness with one's predilection to such a fetish preference, is there a more appropriate venue than a stockings forum? Are we not all frequenting this forum in an effort to locate and discuss our stockings fetish with persons who share our proclivity. Many people have expressed various ideas of how to proceed in attempting to find women who enjoy and prefer wearing stockings via this forum. I am included in that number.
Having a proclivity for something may not mean you want it to be the foundation of your relationships. I think this is especially true of the ladies here. They may love stockings every bit as much as we do but sex for women is different than sex for men. It's in the wiring I think. For men sex is a physical feast. Stockings are the flame in the flambe, the cherry on top of the sundae, the spice in the entree. For women it seems that sex is a gift they choose to bestow on those whom they invite to have it. It is the aperitif not the appetiser. We are generally too anxious. They are generally more reserved. For many men sex is the sooner the better. For many women sex seems to be when all else is right first. But, women know men equate stockings with sex. To try to begin a relationship with a woman by being a "stockings partner" is, for many of them, too start to know them on too intimate a basis too soon.
She is out there. But, I'd be quite surprised if you found her on the Internet. She may be just down the street.
I think the sad truth of the matter is that there are not enough stocking clad lovelies to go around.
However, all is not lost as there frequent stories of men who have successfully persuaded their girlfriends and wives to swap over to stockings.
I think your best course of action would be to find a lady you're attracted to, then work on the finer details!
You might agree, by the way, that we fetishistic individuals are at a disadvantage compared to our more conventionally inclined male counterparts. Most men, tactile and visual as we are, prefer that part of a woman's anatomy that is readily visible and accessible... the breasts. A man with such a preference has little difficulty determining whether he is interested in a woman based upon that part of her anatomy. He identifies the size and shape and determines whether he is interested. For "leg men", it is not quite as facile. These days, women are more inclined to wear trousers, jeans, sweats, etc. The legs are unrevealed. We must wait, or guess, as to whether the woman has full, shapely legs or not. The issue of accentuating their beauty with stockings poses even greater future difficulties. Indeed, ours (leg men), is not an easy preference to satisfy.