Is my silver lining coming soon.  

wetnwildaquarius 43F
574 posts
8/9/2005 9:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Is my silver lining coming soon.

I have posted so many blogs and I hate that the majority of them are sometimes sad or me being depressed. I know that I have to gain control of my life again. I just don't know where to begin sometimes because everytime I take a step up; then I have a set back in the process. I don't know if set backs are common when you are truly trying to come out of depression, but my strength I know will prevail and I will claim victory some day soon. I am not going to allow this to control me forever. I am close to my goal in college now and my family is just about all grown up soon. In my early 40's is when I am done raising my family and I want to look back some day and say I made through all of this. So hopefully that silver lining I have been searching will be ther when I am done raising my family; if not before hand. I just wish I was not so sad sometimes. I wish that I could smile as much as my children do everyday. Life is just so simple for them. I give them my all so that they will at least be happy even if I'm not. I know they wish I would get out and date more, but I just can't seem to bring myself up to enjoying anything. My energy is there, but my mind is not into life and enjoying all that it offers.

I just want to be happy and fulfilled and content for once in my life.
I would like to be able to trust a man without wondering if he is going to hurt me in some kind of way
For once in my life I would like for a man's touch to be gentle and not aggressive.
For once in my life I would like for a man who knows how to talk to a woman to just have some mellow conversations with me instead of trying to compete with me.
For once I would like to be around a man and he does not get jealous of me and my accomplishments.
For once I would like for a man to be proud of me instead of putting me down and saying what I'm not.
For once in my life I would like to experience some of these things if not all before I die.

But I doubt if it will happen for as I said before:

Love has never loved me nor respected me!
I sure hope that silver lining comes before
I die. If not then I know my predictions were right. Can't miss something I never had anyway.

Peace!


licnsticn 48M
1 post
8/10/2005 1:51 am

You must first figure out whether or not you truly love yourself. It's easy to use accomplishment to disguise a lack of self love.When it comes to your relationships with men, I believe that if people would pay attention to the little things, a person will give you clues to their true nature, you just have to keep your eyes open, and pay attention. They will tell on themselves. Life is a test, and in the end, you either pass or fail, so make the most of it. I have gone through a depression, so I understand what you must be going through. I've realized that I am an over-thinker, which means that I analyze and critique events and situations in my life too much. Do you over-think? Is there a particular type of man which you are drawn to, with a particular personality trait, which is not good for you or relationships? I love all women, but I do have a "type", which will grab my attention quickly. Think about it. When your feeling down, remind yourself that you deserve the best in life, and that you love yourself better than anyone can or should


wetnwildaquarius 43F

8/10/2005 6:55 am

Awwwwwwwwww that is so sweet licnsticn. I do love myself baby it's just I have had so much bad luck with men that I am scare of what I am going to meet next. I have always had very high self-esteem, but in relationships is where I fail. I am trying to get to the root of my failed relationships so that I can make someone happy out here because I like to spoil my man. But I also don't want to chase him away due to my unresolved matters in my life.


ByteChaser2 52M

8/10/2005 9:59 am

Hey girl, it occurs to me that your dabbling in what my analyst calls affirmation. But it also occurs to me that you might be doing it wrong... here's what I mean...

People tend to act and be what they say thay are. When we say things like I wish or I want or why cant I, we're setting ourselves up as indecisive in a sense. So rather than saying things as though we're not really expecting it to happen, we need to say it like we know it WILL happen:

Instead of "I would like to be able to trust a man without wondering if he is going to hurt me in some kind of way"

Say "I Will trust a man again. I will trust him because he has earned my trust. He will not hurt me. I wont allow him to."

See? Say it like you mean it and eventually, you'll begin to live it.

Instead of saying "I sure hope that silver lining comes..."

Say "There IS a silver lining, it's..." <-- because there almost always is a silver lining

Hoping and dreaming for something better is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong. Dont give them up... Just affirm your hopes and dreams in a way that makes them a reality. You'll sleep a lot better at night!


wetnwildaquarius 43F

8/10/2005 3:53 pm

AWWWW! THANK YOU BYTECHASER. THIS IS DEFINITELY THE MOST INSPIRING COMMENT ALL DAY! THOUGH I DO APPRECIATE THE OTHERS AS MUCH. THANK YOU FOR KEEPING IT REAL WITH ME.


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