|Blogs > wellman20002 > My Blog|
FUNNY SEX STORIES -- submit yours !
FUNNY SEX STORIES -- submit yours !
Wow ‒ I can’t thank you enough for sharing your funny stories with me this week. Your prizes are in the mail or I'm currently arranging lunch with the winners. MORE WINNERS TO COME. I ALWAYS write personal emails to those who submit a story. Judging was damned near impossible because they were so good!
Just to share a few of the stories (with nothing identifying of course) I heard from guys who had TV guys show up for blind dates (Ooops!), blind dates with women who were far from what they described themselves to be in their singles ads, very unexpected one night stands out of the blue, and being caught ‘doing it’ by everyone from a roommate to a Park Ranger to a squirrel to a priest to a Boy Scout Troop. Some of those were a kick!
There was one guy who did his girlfriend on the dance floor of a club in front of everyone there, a blind date at a motel where there were 3 unmarked cop cars waiting, BJ’s and actual full screwing in moving cars in front of everyone in the car and/or the police who stopped them, and doing it on a train during a train wreck!
There were some good one liners too “Since you don’t kiss on the first date, do you kiss on the last one?” and “I’m a virgin and want to change that ‒ will you help?” as a line to every older woman as long as it worked. One guy didn’t mean to get into trouble but while feeling the stale marshmallows at the store, he turned to the women standing who were discussing some feminine product being hard on their skin and the guy accidentally blurted out “Do you want to feel something really hard?”. Oops….!
Some of the more detailed ones included a guy with a Mistress who shot a Tic Tac out her butt into his unsuspecting mouth, a woman giving a full blow job in the woods off a golf course and then getting a round of applause by the golfers that had unknowing stood watching, and an unexpected threesome with a revolving door for the many participants.
Judging and competition was, obviously fierce, but I did narrow it down to these great stories:
1) One guy was in the middle of doing the wild thing and during his top time, he literally fell off the bed fast asleep before he even hit the floor. She must have been one very memorable lover is all I can say!
2) One guy was doing the wild thing with an older woman and after Act I, she was looking strangely and feeling the bed with her hands. He felt something and found that he was nearly sitting on her upper denture that had been knocked out during the action! She proceeded to give him the best blowjob of his life without her teeth in. I’d say that is a huge incentive for us to all grow older gracefully knowing that we will all be there someday and we will still enjoy it.
3) One guy dumped his date, so he picked up the waitress where they had been eating. She drank too much and had a late dinner at the bar and proceeded to give him a BJ in the Ladies Room. When the manager started pounding on the door, he pushed himself a bit too hard into her throat. Of course, every bit of the late dinner and vodka came up all over him and his jeans. Chunky wet pants are so nasty to pull up and walk out wearing to avoid the cops trying to batter down the door.
4) A cross dresser who, after having his date who dropped him off at his car, found that he was locked out and was trying to coat hanger his way in when a cop showed up and put him in the spotlight for 15 minutes. The cop figured out after helping for a bit, that the girl was a guy and then proceeded to proposition him! Although the TV was not bi ‒ at that time, activities ensued and soon after, the date, the cop and the TV were a frequent threesome until the cop and the date fell in love and got married. Is that a great picture of an amusing dating story or what!!!
Since I couldn’t decide between those four stories, and I couldn’t wait to hear more stories from these guys, I’m going to offer to take 2 of them to dinner and send the other two out of town guys $20 to take themselves out to dinner and remember how appreciative I am for their stories. Everyone who didn’t win, please know that I’m going to continue my contest and you are encouraged to collect stories from all your friends (men or women) and enter again.
Thanks again, and I hope I made your day.