way2big2000 38M
18 posts
11/15/2005 9:48 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


day 44 and when does it end? when, can anyone tell me just when? still don't know the why. still have heard not a word. still high still drunk. still hiding still running from the pain. i was just thinking is there a girl out there that has done this before? just like this, told him you love him one day and you left the next, quit the job he saw you at all the time, turned off your phone, never called again, never said a word to him after that? if you have i would love to know why and how it turned out in the end.

so anyway found out she got fired from her new job and at 1st i was like hell ya thats what you get bitch, i mean why should i be the only one that has a fucked up life right? thats fair is it not? i don't know what fair anymore. i dint even care about fair anymore. there is nothing left for me to care about anymore now is there? i thought putting this all out here was going to help but it's not is it? is it really just making it worst? should i just leave this place? or is nothing going to help? am i stuck in this hell forever? i still have the same dreams every night or i guess i should say nightmares. time to go and try to kill some of the pian.

alexzia 39F

11/16/2005 9:59 am

Hey baby... dont leave this place... I would be worried sick about you. It will get better.. but... its like trying to go to sleep... if you focus on it... it will never come... try to think and do other things, to distract yourself... and it will come easier. Just take one day at a time my love.

I have a confession.. you may not want to talk to me after this. But I left my husband. But I left him because I was not in love with him. He was also verbally abusive. I didnt think it was fair to him or me for him to be married to someone that was not in love with him anymore. When I told him I stayed at the house for 3 days... day and night to make sure he was ok. To be strong for him and help him get through the hurt and pain. After that I had to work but I continued to live there for a month and a half. Just so it would be easier for him to adjust and to make sure he was going to be ok. We still talk to this day. However seeing the pain you are going through puts a searing stake through my heart. I will say it was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I hated putting him through it. I just want to reach out to you and hold you in my arms with your head on my chest... my head laying against the top of your head... and me carassing your face whispering... dont worry my love.. the pain will lessen... it will get better... and softly kiss you on the forehead and kiss away your tears..

Dont leave here babydoll... writing down your feelings is actually good for you. Please write as many blogs as you want. I'll talk to you soon *kisses*

way2big2000 38M
16 posts
11/16/2005 11:04 pm

like a goddes of light she stepped in to the darkness of my soul.

you are so sweet and kind. the guys in florada must be dumb not to have taking you away thank you for the smile it means a lot thank you my lovely

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