When it's Time to Be Fucking Rude  

warmandsexy52 64M
7186 posts
8/5/2006 6:10 am

Last Read:
8/14/2006 6:40 pm

When it's Time to Be Fucking Rude

I was taking my glider back to the car at the top of Devil’s Dyke yesterday having had a really good day out flying in a much more active sky than I had expected, and having a good banter with other flyers and curious tourists on the ground inbetween, when a motorcyclist (ladies, you would have adored his leathers ‒ not that I notice such things!) called out to me, referring to the big rucksack wing and harness go into, “Like your camping equipment.”
“It’s my glider.”
“I know. Only joking mate.”
I laughed.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Not at all.” Flyers get asked questions all the time by members of the public.
“How is it you don’t collide with each other when there are so many of you in the sky?”
“We do sometimes. There are a couple of collisions every year.”
“That must be pretty frightening. I guess your canopy would collapse.”
“Yes it would, and yes you would be shit scared. Scary moments in the sky can be seriously scary, but you're a biker. You understand scary situations.”
He nodded and admitted that the risk was part of the fun of biking. I suggested he tried free-flying but he said his wife would only be able to cope with one high risk activity at a time - but maybe if he ever stopped biking.
“We do carry reserve parachutes,” I said. “But you make sure that you don’t get into that situation in the first place. You do actively fly these things ‒ I mean you’re not just passively floating through the air. It’s okay in the summer because there are thermals and some pilots find them more easily than others.”
“And that comes with experience.”
“Very much so. That way you get separated vertically. Even so, you might still get to a thousand feet above takeoff and still have others around, so you’ve got to fly defensively. If there was hardly anyone else around I would circle tightly in each thermal, but it’s risky when there are others, so for the most part I zig-zag through them, because I can watch out more easily, although it’s much less efficient.”
“Are there rules to stop you colliding?”
“Very simply on the right in the right. The person on your right has right of way. If you’re head on you both turn to the right.”
“That’s it?”
“More or less, yes.”
“Do you call out to each other in situations.”
“Yeah, get outta the fucking way!”

Now I hate rudeness and I abhor people who bully and are rude on the road (something that has got much worse in England over the last 20 years) but in a life or death situation rudeness and aggression can create sufficient alarm to someone who is perhaps not sufficiently on cue to fully register danger on an emotional level. And in truth I have never needed to be verbally violent to anyone in the sky, largely because I give myself plenty of space and am happy to lose that stairway to heaven in the interests of defensive flying and pure commonsense. But I’ve heard others call out from time to time and I have to say it's justified.


So are there times when you consider it to be fair game to be just be plain rude, even verbally aggressive to your fellow human?

Or is it sweetness and light at all costs?

And I've changed this title so many times. Why is it that "When it's time to be fucking rude", somehow have an edge to it when "When it's time to be rude" simply hasn't?


Picture shows a manoeuvre called “looping”. It’s an aerobatic manoeuvre in which you stall sharply and then “trapeze” your harness over your wing and fall through it. It is totally breathtaking to see, but utterly barking mad! If you fall into your wing it wraps around you and you and your glider fall to almost certain death. Known as a “cocoon”. I have no intention of doing this!



CB_2 51F

8/7/2006 1:45 pm

How interesting to read all the posts before mine Warm - they are all about rudeness and when it is justified (or not), as indeed was your post.

And yet, I didn't take that message away from your post at all. I was totally blown away by the whole paragliding thing. It's so beautiful, and I had no idea it was also so complicated - I was one of those ignorant twits who thought you just hung there once you got up there.

Blogito ergo sum.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 10:01 pm:
Oh CB2, the more I fly the more awesome it becomes. Even flying from the same hill the sky is never the same from one time to the next. To stay up you have to work the sky, using a mixture of knowledge, skill and intuition. From the ground it all looks so graceful and simple.

I put the following comment on [post 460721] by ArtisticTwist75. I'm re-posting it to you, because although it is about flying and the wind, it says much more:

Before I fly I stand on the hilltop or clifftop and hold my hands out, palms facing the wind. I shut my eyes and feel the wind. The wind will be my elemental companion in the sky. Sometimes she will be kind and lift me gently, smoothly riding the precipice over the aquamarine waters of the English Channel. Sometimes she will be capricious and play with me and my wing in the sky, feeling the lumps and bumps, always aware she will try to collapse the flimsy canopy, and if I have courage reward me by lifting me to awesome heights. And every now and again she will be mean and spiteful, pinning me in the sky and not letting me down. Her game, in mischief, will be to push me backwards to where the air tumbles like a waterfall, and mine will be not to let her.

Oh I know the wind well, we have been so intimate in our games you could be mistaken in thinking there was a love affair here.

Or maybe not so mistaken at all.


It would hardly be something to be passionate about if we "just hung in there" ....... I guess the same could be said about sex

Now if you asked me which was better, I would quote the most experienced flyer in the South of England. In a conversation about a year ago he said, "Hmmmmmmm! That's a hard one"

Then he paused.

And said, "Sex."

And paused again ....... about 30 seconds ....

"But it would have to be bloody good sex!"

He's right, of course. {=}

warm xx

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
8/6/2006 3:40 pm

i'm a cow,your rude to me british sarcasm will always win,


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 9:35 pm:
I am so English, dear sister papy, that even when being sarcastic I will be so with a smile and a wink!

warm xx

florallei 99F

8/6/2006 3:24 pm

Hi Warm,

In my Industry and personal life rudeness is not practiced although tempting...A few times when my bridezellas looses control of herself and I take the brunt of it...I merely tell her calmly, "I will return and talk to you when you can talk respectfully"...Everyone watches and I walk away. Upon return she has composed herself and become very nice and apologetic....That has been my rule of thumb...have not had to be outright rude yet!
This thing you do sound exciting yet it is not something I would try. TY for sharing.
flo


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 8:57 pm:
I'm sure with all the drama of marriage this must happen quite a bit. Similarly if I have someone who is being rude over the telephone, which can happen at work, I tell them I don't have to be spoken to like this, ring me back when you are a little calmer about things. It is a lot better than arguing the toss and getting nowhere. Trying to control others by being rude to them rarely works, but controlling oneself always does.

Mmmmmm! I fly because I love the experience, and the real challenge a sky will always present. It's moved beyond simple thrillseeking into a real and serious passion. The camaradie on the hilltop's good as well! If we're not flying we're chatting away about this and that. Like being in a human seabird colony.

warm xx

try_ME45 57F

8/6/2006 12:15 pm

I hate being rude to anyone. And I do find it difficult to be horrible to people cos I can always find excuses for their behaviour! lol! Heaven preserve us from fence sitters!

Funny thing is that I can take any amount of rudeness to me but will fight to the death anyone who is rude to people I care about! lol!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 8:46 pm:
In my work I have to deal with a lot of people who are agitated and distressed. Some people I've found lack the social skills and emotional intelligence to realise that every situation in life had to be negotiated and rudeness is really a strategy of projecting your own frustration or anger on someone else. Only that because that in turn distresses means that it is not something I will accept from others. My own experience is that being measured and calm is usually more effective, and if I have real cause for concern I'll voice it (I don't see the need to be repressed simply to be polite!) but in a reasonable way.

warm xx

RubyRedPetal 44F

8/6/2006 11:46 am

rudeness is unpleasant. It makes life a little harsher for everyone. But i can row (and hold my own) with the worst of em if necessary. What really gets to me is unkindness.

* *


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 2:08 pm:
I totally agree with you Ruby. It's just not smart and these people are making themselves miserable as well as everyone else.

warm xx

sunshinekzn 57F

8/6/2006 11:44 am

I try and kill people with kindness until I get behind the steering wheel. If you had to drive in SA with all the terrible taxis on our road you would understand road rage and how even the nicest person lose their cool!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 2:04 pm:
Jeez! If some of the drivers on London's roads were flyers there'd be some lights punched out! So I dread to think about SA!

warm xx

Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
8/6/2006 8:20 am

I hate rudeness in people....it's not necessary

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 1:42 pm:
I always warm to what Scottish Uncle Eddie would say:

"It's nice to be nice. And it doesn't cost anything."

He was a lovely man.

warm xx

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
8/6/2006 6:03 am

I don't think rudeness is ever warranted...I treat everyone with respect and curteousy...I'm pretty even tempered...I get mad occasionally...I take very few things personally...and even when I do get mad...I don't get violately mad...and that is usually because someone else is being rude...

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 1:37 pm:
I agree, moonfire. One of the sad realities about certain parts of South East London is the belief that you are entitled to be rude, because you are, "saying it as it is!" but half the time they simply upset each other with their crassness and rudeness. Rudeness is a form of insensitivity about others' feelings and a low level of emotional and interpersonal intelligence.

warm xx

rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/5/2006 10:55 pm

I am not, by nature, a rude person. But when someone is ignorant, it gets my hackles up and I have to be rude.

I was grocery shopping with my son several years ago, when he was about 3. He had recently had learned a new word, Fuck, which in itself was a big accomplishment. I'll tell ya why in a second. So, we're walking down the frozen product aisle and he opened one freezer door and then another and said the word fuck each time. I turned around to talk to him but this lady walks to him and wags her finger in his face and tells him what a bad little boy he is to be using such foul language and for opening and closing the doors.


I saw red. I went right up to her face and told her:
First, I will discipline my child, if and when I see fit and Second, my son is autistic and just the fact that he is saying ANY word is cause for celebration for me and Third, one of the conditions he has due to the autism is echoalia, meaning that he often repeats words or entire sentences and has no clue what he is even saying or that he is saying them. I took my son's hand and we walked away as she is stammering out an apology.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 1:05 pm:
Good for you! I don't like it when people undermine parents' authority over their children. She could, after all, have asked you why, rather than shoot from the hip.

warm xx

tenorsaxxman 65M

8/5/2006 4:07 pm

I have found that when someone encroaches upon my personal space in an aggressive manner, I become quite dangerous (fight or flight adrenaline takes over).
I am the most mellow and caring human being I know until boxed into a corner by someone with a very pushy demeanor, then watch out! Yes, I have verbally dressed down sales people, Jehovah's Witnesses physically blocking my path in my own yard, and punks that intended to mug me in an alley (I'm 6'3", 230 lbs, taller in my hat) and a gang in a restroom at Penn Station, N.Y. I think there are times that it is called for to preserve your own life or that of someone else, or to preserve the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness ( . . . an American thing . . .) The Platinum Rule: turn the other cheek once, then deck the bastards!

Tenorsaxxman


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 12:22 pm:
Saxman, a mere stripling at 6'1" that I am, I am totally with you on this one.

warm

wickedeasy 66F  
25458 posts
8/5/2006 3:49 pm

i am rarely rude - but push the right button long enough and i can go there.

once a woman was behind me, i was waiting to take a left turn and she kept beeping her horn. i did the universal shrug thing - can't move and she kept beeping. i turned off the engine and got out, walked over to her and asked how i might help. i thought she was going to stroke out.

i said, 'i assumed you were attempting to get my attention since i was clearly signaling left." she screamed, "move your f**g car bitch"

i smiled and said, "of course" walked back slowly, got in, took my time turning the engine on, took my time waiting for a good long space in the traffic. she kept beeping God bless her heart - when i finally turned i waved.

guess i'm lucky i didn't get shot

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/9/2006 12:01 pm:
Someone did the same to me and I walked over to them and told them that in this country road rage is a criminal offence and did he really want to make an issue out of it since I was a senior police officer off duty.

That shut him up!

Thank god he didn't call my bluff!

warm xx

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