Tosh's Funeral  

warmandsexy52 64M
7186 posts
3/24/2006 2:40 pm

Last Read:
4/1/2006 10:19 am

Tosh's Funeral

I can’t begin to describe how moved I've been by all your condolences on my recent post Obituary - Tosh: 1999-2006. There were one or two giggles and the occasional loud outburst of laughter, but hey, I know at such moments, extreme grief can result in uncharacteristic manic behaviour. So to those who might be feeling guilty about acting inappropriately there’s no need to ‒ I do understand.

Tosh’s maritime burial was delayed today until 2.30 p.m. due to engine failure putting one of the two Woolwich ferries out of action, so we had to cope with a long queue of trucks that only drew out the misery. And then only two of the three cars managed to get onto the ferry, so we decided to stay on the ferry until it went back to pick up the third.

“’Ere wot’s all this about? Aren’t you getting off then?” the man guiding the traffic on and off the ferry asked.

We tried to explain about Tosh.

“You’re fucking mental!” he said and told us to get off his ferry and stop pissing him around.

I told him that this was no way to treat a funeral cort├Ęge but it fell on deaf ears.

So we queued all over again at North Woolwich until my best mate Brian’s car joined us after a bit of a punch up with a white van driver as he carved his way in to join us. It was worth it as this time all three cars got onto the ferry at the same time.

Once on board we got out of our cars and went down the metal stairs to the lower passenger deck, almost always unoccupied, as there is a foot tunnel under the Thames where the ferry sails. It’s quicker, but being nineteenth century and full of echoes it’s much, much scarier. Having said that it’s most people’s choice but that’s another story. The ferry boat rotates as it crosses the Thames and there is a moment when you can see right up the Thames, past the silver-clad bascules of the Thames Barrier up to the rising towers of Canary Wharf. The day was heavily overcast with low cloud and there was a cold damp wind blowing but it was the best view we were going to get to see poor old Tosh off.

There was a bit of a disagreement as to whether there was going to be a ceremony and whether it was going to be christian, zen buddhist or wiccan. As it ended up we all had our own private thoughts and memories as Tosh, containing the first VHS tape ever played (a 1970’s tacky porno movie bought at a car boot sale ‒ you just don’t want to know, do you?), resting upon an IKEA kitchen unit door (part of the KRAPPA range ‒ haven’t you noticed how some of these Swedish names are so lost in translation?) and covered with a Union Jack T-shirt, was committed to the deep.

For a moment it seemed that Tosh would float, but the brown-grey brackish waters of the Thames extended their cold, wet embrace and our dear friend, source of so many memories, slid out of view.

Feeling the tears welling in my eyes, I threw a few cut-price Mothers Day flowers into the grey estuarine waters and headed back to the car.

Farewell Tosh. I will never forget you.

BenefitsFriend69 57M/60F

3/27/2006 3:42 pm

Did anyone play taps?

Laughing, and not the least bit teary-eyed,

PS--I thought of doing something this for my Commodore VIC-20. But I'd have to kill him first.

warmandsexy52 replies on 4/1/2006 10:22 am:
Ah, you made it BF! Welcome aboard and enjoy the Thames crossing!

HBowt2 58F

3/25/2006 2:29 pm

you should have given it a proper send off.....put it on a bed of reeds and set it on fire and adrift.......LMAO.....(sorry)

warmandsexy52 replies on 3/27/2006 1:50 pm:
Last time I did that it was a direct drive turntable for vinyl records (remember them? Oh the nostalgia!). The flames went higher and higher and we sang Viking drinking songs (all Viking songs are drinking songs, even funeral ones!) as Dee Dee Turney sailed down the Thames fully ablaze in all her glory....

.... then along came the River Police and fined me fifty quid...........Unfeeling bastards!!!!!!

So dear Hbowt it was a lovely idea.

A lovely, thoughtful, impractical idea.

I'm so touched.

rm_Lance_Elliot 46M

3/25/2006 2:28 pm

[post 284560]

Snagged by the real one

warmandsexy52 replies on 3/27/2006 1:42 pm:
Thanks for visiting my blog Lance. Shame it was a funeral, but I appreciate you being there for the send-off!

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/25/2006 1:39 pm

I'm sure Tosh appreciates it!! Hope you feel better soon...

warmandsexy52 replies on 3/27/2006 1:38 pm:
If you were this side of the pond Aas I'd have invited you to the funeral.

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

3/25/2006 3:09 am


warmandsexy52 replies on 3/27/2006 1:36 pm:

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