How to text someone an arsehole  

warmandsexy52 64M
7186 posts
8/17/2006 3:36 pm

Last Read:
8/19/2006 7:41 pm

How to text someone an arsehole

Yes, I'm afraid I'm being a bit anal again, but bear with me......

I stumbled across this when surfing for other stuff and thought it potentially useful. I mean to say how many times do you really want to call someone an arsehole over the phone? I mean to say if you're like me it could be every other day! Well, now you can text it.

So purely for educational purposes.....


Regular Arse
(_!_)
Fat Arse
(__!__)
Tight Arse
(!)
Sore Arse
(_*_)
Well Used Arse
(_o_)
Smart Arse
(_e=mc2_)
Kiss My Arse
(_x_)


Okay now, fingers at the ready ......... text someone an arsehole!

This Week's Anal Challenge:

What sort of arse is this?

(AdultFriendFinder)


Warm is puzzled .... A.F.F. have put AdultFriendFinder in themselves because it had an "at" sign in the middle ........ and in doing so have made the post funnier ......... now what's all that about? .....





wickedeasy 66F  
25445 posts
8/19/2006 1:13 pm

mega ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

but funny

i loved the Marx brothers, chaplin, show of shows and some of the old seaside duos from England still can make me splurt coffee on my lap.

humor is interesting, isn't it? what makes you laugh may make me cry or just go HUH?

oh and a big Monty Pyhton fan - based in large part on the fact that i was living in England when they started on the bbc and a bunch of us would get together, smoke, and laugh until we hurt or until we ran out of nachos

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 7:41 pm:
It was a bit gross, so here's a gentler one:

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."


I'm afraid I googled these! I'm not an authority on fart jokes!

I forgot the Marx brothers, and Monty Python. The best of the seaside duos were Morecambe and Wise, who still appear on TV. We do produce quite a lot of good comedy because we are more inherently cynical. The actor, wit and raconteur Peter Ustinov described it thus:

Imagine you are at Disneyland:

American family: Hey look there's Donald Duck ....... Oh and Mickey Mouse ........ and Goofy. Wow! Yay!

English family: What's that idiot doing, walking round in a duck suit?

There is a freshness, energy and raw enthusiasm Americans have that I really like. It gives you that gung-ho mentality, which can be a good or a bad thing. Brits are more likely to go, "Oh yeah?" and be a bit more measured. It's why so many baddies in the movies are Brits.

Sorry, rambling on ...... must go to bed. Nite nite.



warm xx

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

8/18/2006 3:40 pm

I've just put every one of this in my saved "text" message menu ... hehehe ...

{=}


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 9:49 am:
pmsl!

I'm so glad they came in useful.

warm xx

CB_2 51F

8/18/2006 1:07 pm

    Quoting tenorsaxxman:
    I wonder what it looks like flipped over . . . .. . (_Y_) . . .. . Ohhhhhhh.
She has a nice bikini bottom on, doesn't she?!

Blogito ergo sum.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 9:48 am:
Looky!

(_Y_)

Handstand!!!

It's YOU!!!!!

warm xx

CB_2 51F

8/18/2006 1:06 pm

I love the way you mix supposedly educational information with a totally gratuitous picture of three divine arses..... pervert!

And for reference, I am a (_*_) to some people, if we translate that nt so much as "sore arse" as "pain in the arse". But never to you, Warm.

Blogito ergo sum.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 9:45 am:
Gratuitous?

Moi?

I am merely applying current learning theory of using image and colour alongside text!

Perverted?

Moi?

Too bloody right!

As regards (_*_) ...... awwww! That's the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me about their bottom!

warm xx

wickedeasy 66F  
25445 posts
8/18/2006 10:52 am

her any good fart jokes lately

men are so odd sometimes, i bet you like the three stooges too

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 9:35 am:
Well wicked, since you asked (I take this as a dare to tell you a disgusting fart joke):

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"


I know ....... I think I'm going to throw up, and I've posted it!

But you did kind of dare .....

As for the three stooges ......... you know I never took to them. Favourite oldie movie of the pre-war era was Chaplin's "Modern Times," it's a gem and Pauline Goddard was totally charming. Funniest British slapstick comedian currently is Harry Hill and if you get a chance to see him, do. Hard to believe he started out as a doctor.

Hugs {=}

warm xx

Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
8/18/2006 5:57 am

cos AdultFriendFinder is an arse

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 6:32 am:
They said it!

Not you!

Not me!

They did the doodies!



warm xx

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
8/18/2006 4:48 am

Horny arse? Cute post....

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 6:28 am:
Awwww! Thanks moonfire......

I'm looking cute ....

So whatever you do, DON'T read the notice on my cage!

{=}

warm xx


ps lies, I tell you! All lies!!!

tenorsaxxman 65M

8/18/2006 3:48 am

I wonder what it looks like flipped over . . . .. . (_Y_) . . .. . Ohhhhhhh.

Tenorsaxxman


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 6:11 am:
Oh my! Oh my! She can do handstands!

I wonder what else she can do?

warm

TabithaElectra 37F

8/18/2006 3:47 am

I love it when those unforeseen accidental things end up making a situation even funnier!

Great post!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 6:09 am:
Thanks Tabs. I was totally amazed that AdultFriendFinder were capable of doing this.

I could pretend that I set them up ......

But then I'd be a total (_o_)

warm xx

florallei 99F

8/17/2006 11:27 pm

This is so cute...Warm...I never text...but if I did I would use this...
For AdultFriendFinder...how about loose ass....lumpy ass....heavy ass...I don't know...am not good with this sort of thing...
hugs,
flo


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 4:58 am:
PMSL

hugs

warm xx

goodatpoetry2 66M
12396 posts
8/17/2006 9:47 pm

I think ( AdultFriendFinder ) would be a hemorrhoid.
A PAIN in the arse!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/19/2006 4:55 am:
Time for my AFFnal Jeezicks!!

warm

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