Date From Hell  

warmandsexy52 64M
7186 posts
8/27/2006 7:50 am

Last Read:
8/31/2006 5:26 am

Date From Hell

mood: really bad taste

Here’s our finest meat, sir.
But I ordered pizza!
Here are your prawns madam.
I’ve already had ‘em!
Waiter, listen to me,
Go get your maitre d’if.
When I ordered the soup
The lumps in it were poop,
And you said it was fine
To find maggots in wine.
The scum upon my knife
Was crawling with pondlife.
But what I really hate
You’ve ruined my online date.
Sorry ‘bout that honey,
You mean you found it funny?
We could, what do you think,
Just shoot off for a drink.
Get drunk, and then we’ll grab
Some chips and a kebab.
We’ll eat ‘em in the street
And sneak somewhere discreet,
Down that dim-lit alley
We’ll fondle and dally.
You’re put off by the smell?
You’ll split on the motel?
So long as it’s real cheap,
We’re not going there to sleep!
You mean you’ve changed your mind?
How can you be unkind?
I did my best to please,
But you’re just a prick-tease!
Lost enthusiasm
For one little orgasm?
You’ve really hurt my pride!
I’ll commit suicide!
You are a nasty bitch,
Just ‘cos I’m not that rich.
You’ll be really sorry
When I fall under that lorry!

Splat!
Squash!

Kerbump, kerbump, kerbump, kerbump!

I’m glad he went berserk!
He worried me, that jerk!

© warmandsexy52 2006


painting by lauren cunningham



florallei 99F

8/30/2006 5:00 pm

Golly Warm, I hope I never encounter such hellish date, LOL...very whimsical...
hugs,
flo


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 4:19 am:
Oh you're far too classy to pick up riff-raff like that.

hugs

warm xx

Cozy_Red 50F

8/29/2006 3:30 am

Funny stuff!






warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 3:54 am:
Pleased to amuse you Cozy.

warm xx

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
8/28/2006 4:58 am

Very funny...

kind thoughts,
Moonfire


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 3:15 am:
Thank you, moonfire.

warm xx

TabithaElectra 38F

8/28/2006 1:12 am

*checks for any lorries before leaving this blog*


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 3:02 am:
I'm so glad you're taking care.

{=}

warm xx

TabithaElectra 38F

8/28/2006 1:09 am



Oh Warm! This is fantastic!

Chilli sauce on the kebab??


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 3:01 am:
TY Tabs. What's a kebab without the chilli sauce?

Of course on a date from hell the sauce would have clogged up the nozzle and violent shaking would have sent it all over the place.

When you asked, "Chilli sauce?"
I replied, "But of course!"
Then the sauce all got stuck.
It came out with a schluck!
Went all over the place
Including my face.
A nasty surprise
Chilli sauce in the eyes!
"Oh baby you're hot."
"You're so funny - NOT!!!!"
What an Eeeejit - this bloke
Thought it was a joke.


Now you take care when you shake that bottle!

warm xx


ps note the sunnies ..... can't be too careful!

rm_sexxikritter 52F
2715 posts
8/27/2006 6:04 pm

So you've met my second date from this site then?

õ KRITTER õ


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 1:58 am:
Yes, he was in intensive care at the time!

warm xx

goodatpoetry2 67M
13111 posts
8/27/2006 12:10 pm

LOL! That was great!
Yeah, all the "fun" of dating someone you don't even know!

BTW, I used YOU in my last post. I hope you don't mind.
It's pretty funny!
POEM --- Revenge Is Sweet!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 1:47 am:
Oh the joy of, "Surprise! Surprise!"

I enjoyed being in POEM --- Revenge Is Sweet! ...... a lot of laughs! Nice one! Thanks!

warm

Sulabula 45F
12659 posts
8/27/2006 10:59 am

Hmmm....a spizzle for u as well? lol

Sula xxx

come visit my blog


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 1:37 am:
OMG!

Do I need to do a rewrite with a spizzle in it?

It wasn't a spizzle
But a dried up old pizzle,
And when I said "Ewwwwww!
Is that my gift from you?"
You said, "It should be fine -
For our very first time!"


Well, it is a date from hell!

warm xx

VCF1962 105F

8/27/2006 10:07 am

Sad but true - there are REAL nutters like these out there !

I have a vivid image in my mind of that lorry........

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 1:30 am:
Sadly, I've been here long enough to know that there are real nutters on this site. Maybe expecting themselves to do circus tricks with HGVs is a bit extreme ..... but it did get me out of a verse that was getting increasingly dark line by line!

warm xx

wickedeasy 67F  
26768 posts
8/27/2006 9:50 am

blinks - hands warm his meds

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


warmandsexy52 replies on 8/31/2006 1:08 am:
gulps them down with a glass of water and wonders why wicked ran off with them in the first place!

warm xx

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