Happy One Hundredth, Mummy  

waggypolly 72F
7449 posts
11/13/2005 7:25 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Happy One Hundredth, Mummy

Tonight I honour my mother. If she were alive we would have celebrated her 100th birthday yesterday, but it is 9 years since our final celebration. I wish I could post a photograph of her; the best I can do is show one of Polly trying to find a secure perch on her tombstone.

Polly’s unease trying to find her balance in the picture is quite symbolic of the relationship we had in real life. She gave birth to Jeanne in the natural and very loving way. She loved me deeply and sincerely, believing that the oh so very tight control she kept over me was for my own good. I acknowledge that this inappropriate mode of mothering sprang from the most ethical, the most loving, the very best of motives.

I came to young adulthood in the sixties, when the generation gap that existed between parents and adults was bigger than between other generations. In that climate Polly flew in. Polly wasn’t really very wild compared to some other young women, but she did fly around doing exactly what she wanted. She knew she did things mother would disapprove of, and never, ever, told. That was fairly typical of my generation. But what was less typical was I couldn’t actually challenge mother’s moral strict moral code, even within myself. So Jeanne and Polly started their game of Box and Cox.

Mummy never knew about Polly, but she was totally supportive of what Jeanne did: travelling across the world more than once to be with her and the grandchildren, giving emotional and financial support to educational endeavours she didn’t understand, and finally readjusting her very conservative views on divorce to accommodate my marriage breakup.

She was emotionally remote but this didn’t mean she didn’t love me; she had been taught that it was unBritish to show emotion and she tried to teach me the same. She was so fiercely independent that she couldn’t accept help or affection. Only in her last weeks did this rigid attitude crumble.

In the antiseptic environment of the nursing home things were pared back to essentials. We acknowledged that there was love between us. I began to assist with the nursing. When she got into bed the final time I took her off the commode, wiped her bottom for her and tucked her into bed like a baby. Her very last words were, “I … think … this … is … lovely.”

Mummy, I recognise the love and the care with which you raised me. I mourn those parts of life we couldn’t share. I thank you for never questioning when I set out on crazy journeys and for not asking too many questions about what I did on them. I honour you for all the support that you gave me, and I honour the sacrifices you made to support what you believed was right.

This is Polly, still Wagging
Remember: ! Bloggers are a Better Breed !


Polly
Latest post: Naked


rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
11/13/2005 8:09 am

thanks for sharing that. it kinda reminds me of my grandmother who died last year...



[blog freelove999]


smartmama 58F

11/13/2005 2:40 pm

A very nice tribute to your mother.


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
11/13/2005 2:57 pm

Polly: this tribute to your mother has moved me deeply.
Thank you for sharing it!


jim5131 55M
1296 posts
11/14/2005 6:24 pm

Polly, thanks for posting this. It reminded me of my Grandmother, a woman with a proud and hardworking long life...I recall her last days at the farm and one of the last 'clear' things she said to me...

"I hope this stage of my life passes quickly."

God Bless You...and her..


GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
11/14/2005 11:42 pm

beautiful post Polly

or Jeanne .... ~hugz~


daighi 49M
1449 posts
11/15/2005 6:05 am

Jeanne,Thank you for sharing some of yourself here.This personal tribute is exqusite in showing us alot about you & your mother.She sounds as though she was a wonderful person to know?

I'm very intriguged by the way you portray yourself in the third person.Why have you chosen to give yourself an alter-ego...Polly?

Now i'm sure that it is written in the annals of your past blog entries,but i can't seem to find that one.

Does having an alter-ego like Polly,allow you to explore boundaries in places & areas that YOU as Jeanne would'nt dare to?I don't mean to go all Freud on you,but i'm just curious.

I find your blogs very enriching to read,& in parts quite sensual.I'm sure the Author of such enscriptions,is just as enriching & sensual herself,in whichever persona she chooses to be?....lol

Another intriguing characteristic of your blog,is the way that you sign-off on each posting.Do you deliberately write your last phrase "Bloggers are a Better Breed" in white?As it's hard to see on your front page,it's as if you are testing us to see how observant we are as readers to your blog.

Being a curious type,i find that most intriguing,& it only feeds my curiosity in wanting to know more about you...on EVERY level.

You are indeed...."A true gem of a find"!(& i mean that most sincerely,in a good way).

D. XXXX

"Always remember...keep smiling!"

Hugs,

D. XX


__Huntress__ 55M/57F

11/15/2005 11:37 am

Polly ...

This is a beautiful
tribute ...

I'm glad I had the chance
to read it ...

{=}


angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
11/16/2005 9:48 am

Beautiful tribute to your mother Polly. Thanks for sharing it and reminding all of us that life is a fragile thing and we should hold it in wonder.


interested13563 53M
2557 posts
11/16/2005 1:22 pm

Polly, I am looking forward to a continuation of your posts.
Regards to Jeane.


sleeplessknight1 68M

11/17/2005 5:26 am

A very moving Post......
My mum is 92.... and I care for her...
I thank the Lord for every day that she has...


Theflinkychick 105F

11/17/2005 10:06 pm

Polly, very sweet and touching tribute, thank you so much for sharing your mother here. {=}

Not all who wander are lost.


daighi 49M
1449 posts
11/18/2005 5:42 am

    Quoting waggypolly:
    Whow, Daighi, you do ask a lot of questions!

    I first noticed something was up when I wrote Doing the splits 1. But I didn't know what I meant. Then I wrote Doing the splits 2 when I had an idea of the implication (look at the picture for that one). It wasn't until Doing the Splits 3 that I was able to create a concrete metaphor for what was going on.

    I don't think I have multiple personality disorder (maybe I do), but I do find this metaphor incredibly helpful at the moment. Now my two friends pop up from time to time, for example in Of Kites and Stones and in the post forming in my mind at the moment.

    Yes, Polly does allow me to explore boundaries but she does even more than that: she was pushing boundaries, leaping over them, long before Jeanne would even acknowledge she existed. Somehow poor Polly got ignored.

    Thanks for asking.
Hi Polly,I'm sorry if you though that i was being too inquisitive in my posting to your blog.I sincerely did'nt mean to seem nosey.There was just somethings that i noticed about you & your blogs that had me curious.

I did'nt mean to offend you.

I did'nt mean to imply that you had a disorder either.I just found it interesting that you choose to have a second persona when you write,i found that intriguing.

Perhaps i'm too nosey for my own good.But i feel my interest in you & your blog was healthy,as was my curiosity.

Thank you again for such a wonderful,thought provolking blog.

D. XXX

"Always remember...keep smiling!"

Hugs,

D. XX


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
11/18/2005 7:36 am

This is a wonderful tribute and testament to your Mummy.


daighi 49M
1449 posts
11/20/2005 6:25 am

    Quoting waggypolly:
    Thanks Flinky, and even if you don't feel like writing at the moment do keep on reading.

    Hey, Dighi, I wasn't the least offended, in fact I was rather flattered by your interest. And I didn't think you were refering to disorders, although I was obliquely refering to an earlier comment by someone else who refered (obliquely again) to disorders.

    Not every psychological state is a disorder, and most of them are not fully ordered, don't you agree?

    But finding this meaphor for the way I lead my life is being incredibly helpful, and even better is being part of this forum where I can share things with - and learn from - friends. I hope you'll be among those who hold my hand while I discover more about the relationship between Jeanne and Polly.

    Thanks so much.

    P.S. and ur comments have introduced me to ur blog, which I'm now watching with much interest.
I'll be here,for as long as you want me around,although i will never encrouch on your privacy too much.I hope that my blog lives up to any expectations that you may have.

I don't post to it every day,just when i get the time OR if something crosses my mind to enter into it.

Your very welcome,& i hope that you continue to enjoy it & your time here also.

Take care for now!

D. XXXXXX

"Always remember...keep smiling!"

Hugs,

D. XX


redswallow777 48M
6810 posts
11/23/2005 1:43 pm

I have found that the toughest thing about loosing a parent or grandparent is the sadness around them not having gotten to know the real me. Perhaps I am being self-centered but I think it is such a shame that that we could not reach across the generational boundries and gotten to know each other. Your tribute was insightful...thanks.


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