Not Good  

vrec_dawn 40M
854 posts
6/8/2006 4:11 pm

Last Read:
6/10/2006 3:11 pm

Not Good


My cousin, who we just found out has the same genetic disease as his brother, actually has it worse than his brother. And his brother has had a pretty tough life. I don't know how he went undiagnosed for so long. He just wasn't sick ... until now. He must have been one lucky guy to have pulled that off.

Now he's in the hands of a critical care pulmonologist, and I think without health insurance. Though really, what's the worst that could happen there at this point? That he have to file for bankrupcy too? I'm sure that almost compares to survival.

**sigh**

His mom has a hard time of it though. Between him and her twin brother suddenly dying of cancer that's resisting treatment. She's working herself sick just trying to help them both. In a way it's a good thing that she's between jobs at the moment, but by the same token, if ever there were a time more money would come in handy.

Oh, the disease by the way is Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Disease. I had to google it myself. I never really knew the full details, just the effects. It's a nasty genetic disorder, and both of them have the lung and liver varieties.

It's depressing. I try not to dwell on the negative, but lately it's been really hard to see the positive, you know? A candle sets my house on fire. My wife doesn't love me anymore. My grandpa, who was the closest thing I've had to a father because he died when I was 7, is now dead himself. My two favorite cousins both share the same awful genetic disease when we'd all always thought one was safe from it. My aunt is running herself ragged. And her twin brother, my uncle, is dying of cancer. And I live hundreds of miles away. I mean what the fuck is wrong with this year?

Sorry.

I'm really trying not to mire myself in the down, but it's just so hard to see the sunshine right now.

**sigh**

Becca53913 57F
131 posts
6/9/2006 9:47 pm

That is more then any one person should have to handle Vrec. You know that we will be there for you to bounce you worries off of. I had a year from hell like that myself so I well know the pain and anger that comes with it. It is a mortal place here on earth. All forces at work. Anything can happen at any time and we have little control of our lives here.

My mom fought illness 10 yrs. My Dad and brother lived with her and it hit them harder. Rushing her to the hospital all the time. Getting the oxygen to her. The family being called to her death bed more times then I can count and she would pull through until enough was enough for her. Then my mother in law dies a short time later of cancer. She was just like a birth mom to me. Then one of my best friends die of cancer. My job goes to hell along with my health. Ya I have been there.

These times refine you in the fire and you will come out either crazy or stronger. Maybe a little of both.

I feel so sad for you. When you are going crazy just hop the fence and chat awhile.
Hugs
Becca


vrec_dawn replies on 6/10/2006 3:15 pm:
Yeah. Crazy or stronger, but probably a little of both.

Thanks for the offer. The only flaw is, when I get depressed I also get antisocial. Well, anti-everything. Usually all I want to do is crawl into bed, snuggle into my blankets, and read. It's like being wrapped up in a big hug for hours in a place where I don't have to face reality. Hard to top that.

Become a member to create a blog