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Bye bye Mum
Bye bye Mum
So the mother-in-law is gone. Honestly, I'm not sure what to think of the visit. She stressed my wife out badly. You know that whole "I've just realized that I wasn't a perfect parent and now that I've gotten my life together I'm going to 'fix' everything wrong with you to make up for all the damage I feel guilty for causing you" complex. Yeah. Like that goes well.
And it helps so much when my wife is not only beyond that, doesn't hold anything against her for her upbringing, and is at such a spiritual point that she's just way beyond where ye olde mother-in-law has just reached. Yeah. That goes well. So mum is trying to fix what isn't broken while making my wife feel like crap about herself as every tiny little flaw is blown way out of proportion. Fun fun.
At least she didn't try to do the same to me. But then, she's not my mom. So I'd have told her to go <explitive never entered> the high horse that she rode in on had she tried. As it was I damn near told her off for doing that to my wife. The only reason that I didn't was because she was only staying for two weeks and I didn't want to 'cause a scene' and make my wife feel worse. She hates it when I do that.
But, hey, between all that we got in a lot of goofy tourist vacation type stuff. So it was fun, stressful, and weird.
And then as I'm driving us back to the airport to kiss her asterisk goodbye, my car decides to overheat. Luckily it was just a combination of hours of high speed interstate driving combined with a rather hot day with a dash of too much air conditioning mixed in. Oops. But it was no big deal to fix, other than that from then on I drove with the heat blasting on a hot day to make darn sure that she caught her flight out. I nearly melted to death, but it's all over now.
Actually, it was all over a couple of days ago, but it's just taken me that long to really destress.
It could have been worse. It could have been my mom. She was just as bad of a parent growing up, but instead of that whole loving "I'm going to fix everything because I'm feeling guilty" she's got more of a "I'm going to see everything that you do that I don't like as lashing out at me because I was such a bad parent and you hate me so much ... but I'd really like for us to be friends now that I've seen the light ... except that I don't want to know the real you, I'd rather just hold you to the image I have of you as a child". Then combine that with her selective memory so that everything the evil sister did wrong I now did, and everything good that I did is now credited to the evil sister.
Okay, so maybe that was a bit long of a description, but that only goes to show the complexity of the psychosis and how I just can't win no matter what tact I try to take to just convince her to let go since she's the only one who cares.
Can't have a sane relationship with them, wouldn't have existed without them.