Alone, so alone...  

vrec_dawn 39M
854 posts
2/23/2006 7:44 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Alone, so alone...

It's funny. It wasn't a bad day. Work was okay. The day was even warm enough that I took a walk when I got home. I had a nice talk with friends. All seemed fine.

But then things changed.

Suddenly I feel so ... alone.

I want someone to hold. Someone to wrap my arms around. To feel the softness of hair against my cheek. To smell the gentle scent of someone as we rest our heads together. To feel someone's heart beating with mine. To feel warm and safe and loved.

Instead I have empty arms and a broken heart.

I know that I should be happy with just me. I shouldn't need someone in my life just to feel happy. If I love myself then I shouldn't need another. And, honestly, I am happy ... most of the time. Lately my days have been good days, and I've been content on my own.

But right now I just suddenly feel so cold and alone, and it's all so overwhelming.

And I worry that I'm not as far along as I thought. That I'm not happy with just me, even if I do love myself for who I am now. Even though my days seemed like good days.

A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
2/23/2006 8:39 pm

It is human nature to need and desire the touch of another human. And if, in our hearts, we have a capacity to love...and to feel...then we feel that need even more. That someone who will be there to share even your ordinary moments will come when you least expect it. Watch for it....but don't rush it.

singleagain53578 46F

2/24/2006 2:53 am

I wish I could say it will get better but you are going to have days like that. I think you and I both had one of those days yesterday. Gosh we only live a few blocks away from one another, we should have called one another when we were both feeling so blue and just gone ot for like coffee of something.

I used to have days like that all the time, and I was married then, living so isolated from one another. Now that he has moved out of the house, I love my independence. Maybe it's time you cleaned out house as well??? I am here if you ever need a friend. I give good hugs too and I have been told my hair smells perty good. Have a good day and talk to ya later!!!

Your friend-


vrec_dawn 39M

2/24/2006 3:57 pm

**LOL** I'd love to clean out house, but unfortunately I'm not mean enough to punt the ex. She's even about to have gal bladder surgery after becoming aware of a problem from passing a stone. Plus her home is Australia, so it's not like she can just run home to mom or something. Meh. She's saving up and she'll be gone one day. Paperwork and cash. Sometimes time just doesn't move fast enough...

And yeah, I don't know why I didn't call. **shrug** Coffee and a hug would have been nice. Well, of course I guess I didn't think of it because I was depressed about being alone and that only makes me think about how alone I am instead of thinking about friends. Catch 22. **LOL** Oh well. Maybe next time?

vrec_dawn 39M

2/24/2006 5:37 pm

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    "A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries"...I love that line kinda says it all..don't it?
Yeah. You just can't beat the classics. I've got to go find my Simon & Garfunkel CDs...

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