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Wrath of a scorned wife! Beware AFF daters!
Wrath of a scorned wife! Beware AFF daters!
About 8 months ago I went on a date with someone I met on-line. I was in a real dating frenzy at the time and actually had 3 dates that weekend, but wanted to meet E for lunch. The lunch went well and I liked him, but there was absolutely no chemistry. We gave a light hug goodbye that afternoon and I debated on seeing him again, but decided that it wouldn't change my overall lack of interest.
So about two weeks ago, I get this really strange email from some woman claiming to be his girlfriend and wanted to know more about who I was. E then emailed me directly within hours and this is how it went...
Subject: Can we steal a minute of your time to
resolve a question within our household?
I/we have a question and I do believe my wife has already sent you an e-mail. Once again, I do apologize for dragging you into anything that probably doesn't concern you, but would like a general question answered... so to speak:
(I think this part is from the wife)I have never participated nor concerned myself with any questionable e-mails or activities concerning you or anybody else, yet there seems to be a large number of e-mails and correspondence between this e-mail address and yourself. I guess my big question would be how hot and heavy did conversations get with you and this e-mail address (please don't give any more details than what I've already read) and where did this person e-mailing you come from? I/we have nothing against you, but a huge question has risen within our household that needs to be answered... Have you ever met this person or seen a picture that might help me identify them? I see that there several e-mails between the two of you and unfortunately this has put me under the spotlight for something I havn't participated in. One last question, and again not trying to accuse or be abrasive, did you feel like someone was playing a joke on you through the period of time in correspondence, because this is what seems evident to me.
You are more than welcome to respond here or at email addy (which is obviously the wife's e-mail and would completely bypass me even knowing you replied)... which means if you do have something questionable to say about me, I would never get a chance to review it.
MY RESPONSE (To him cc her):
Hey there E. Based on the fact that you said “wife” I guess congratulations are in order!! You always struck me as a family type of guy. However, judging from this email, things might not be going so well.
I always meant to email you and tell how sorry I was that I was not able to be much of a friend to you. ( I understand that I am also sending this to your ‘wife’, but I am fine with her reading this because I/we have nothing to hide). Life was always too busy it seemed. I am glad that we got a chance to chit-chat over a quick lunch that one day. It was a great conversation and I think that you have some good business sense. As far as anything else is concerned, I know that you felt as I did that there is no spark or chemistry between us and this is strictly a friendship, and an email one at that given our busy lives.
I GOT THIS NEXT (From her):
I received your e-mail and do appreciate it. It seems though I asked E if you had emailed him and he denied it. He denied ever knowing you. He also told me he would deny it to you if the position ever occured. E and I have been serious for quit awhile now. During the time of your "lunch-date" he and I were a very very serious couple. During the time of your visit I was in Louisiana with my family. I'm not sure if you knew of him being out of Colorado for awhile, but at one time he was in Louisiana with us.
He flew down on the 2nd and out on the 12th of December. I am in no way at all trying to be ugly towards you. Again I do appreciate your effort in repling back to this. E, when confronted, said he never met you or knew anything of a L. He also believes that some one else has been messing with his email(or so he says). I wish I could talk more with you. E and I have had what you call a long distance relationship through the majority of it. Like you I know how hard it is. I am not one to beg of anyones help, but I beg of you to please respond back to me on this topic. If you can only put yourself in my shoes and feel what I feel. I hurt. To much. Your not the only lady I found in his emails. It seems he was on a dating site of some form and found many others. I am not sure as to how you two met, but I have a good idea now. If you are willing to speak with me over the telephone I would greatfully appreciate it. I will willingly give my # if you dont want me to have yours. I understand how you must feel to be in the middle. But I'm sure from reading the e-mail he sent, while I was sitting at his side, may have confused you in some form, considering he acted as though he didnt know you. I only know of 1 email he sent you, which was the one with my info. One more question L - Where did the two of you have lunch???
Thanks for your time!
MY FINAL RESPONSE (sent to them both):
I do not think that you are entitled to any information about my personal life, which is what you are asking from me.
I never considered E anything more than an acquaintance and I was dating 2 other people at the time, so there is nothing more to tell. I have not seen him since October when we had lunch and I turned out to have any real interest in him.
Sorry if I do not seem sympathetic, but frankly this situation is why I do not have monogamous relationships. Sounds like you have a problem that you have to solve for yourself.
Two points to this blog.
1) Beware of even the most benign situations.
2) I found it curious that I was actually mad at her. I later discovered I was mad at her because I was once her. I hated that weak person that I was that didn't just walk away, instead playing these stupid games of he said/she said.
5/13/2006 9:05 pm
I'm not even sure I would have been as nice as you were. My reaction in this type of situation is to get sarcastic with both of them. They're losers, and as such don't even deserve each other. In other words, I share your lack of sympathy. A whiney woman (who snoops through other people's email) and a lying bastard. What a pair!|
5/13/2006 10:53 pm
You R very brave to have gone out with someone U met on the computer in the first place. You're too hot to be doing that. R U just tired of same ol same ol?????|
5/14/2006 9:42 am
Hey kelli4u2dew....DITTO! |
And concreteguy73....you're a hypocrite.
5/14/2006 2:06 pm
Happy Mother's Day VGirl. |
Good to see you back.
It makes me happy that you've aloud yourself to embrace your love.
5/20/2006 11:22 am
Sorry for the bad memeories that must have brought up for you|
5/25/2006 6:13 am
This story reminds me of an AdultFriendFinder incident that I was involved in.|
After a couple dinner dates, (no chemistry) with a Pueblo lady, I got emails from this guy who claimed to be her husband. Since I was already looking other directions, they didn't bother me much.
After a couple mails and no response from me, I got an email from her, saying how sorry she was for not telling me she was married. Still I didn't respond, then I go a couple reall nasty mails from her.
What I figured out was happening, was that this lady was actually sending mails as herself and a ficticous(sp) husband.
This was her game.
She was more interested in me than I was in her and was trying to be a victum(sp) in order for me to 'come to her rescue'.
I just don't need that in my life, and it's really too bad that she does..
5/28/2006 10:51 pm
What a great story. Makes one tend to think some.|
6/6/2006 2:20 pm
Never understood the guys who take off their wedding bands.|
Or how hesitant most women are when I ask them to meet my wife.
The related story reminds me of a friend I have who has to believe that I'm cheating on my wife to have a good time.
I let my wife know where I am and then tell the friend that my wife doesn't know. Weird. She doesn't view me as a prospect, just a friend with occasional benefits.