What the fuck was I thinking?  

virtualgirl81008 46F
228 posts
3/17/2006 7:19 am

Last Read:
6/30/2007 8:52 pm

What the fuck was I thinking?

Well, I think we have established that I am not a relationship type of girl at this point of my life. So why did I break the cardinal rule of having an exclusive relationship?

I wanted the fun and flirtiness of a twenty-something. Unfortunately, this twenty-something turned out to be a very intense person. He did not quite have his life together yet, which was a bit of a turn-off, but I really exjoyed my time with him.

Needless to say that he felt he fell in love with me and I reciprocated some strong feelings also. Given this I broke my own rule and caved in to his requests for the exclusive "boyfriend" title. He absolutely knew my history with relationships, but I said that I would try my best.

At the three month mark, which is usually my timeframe that boredom sets in with any guy exclusive or not, I began to see the signs. I loved being with him when I was actually with him, but miserable and yearning for my true self any other time. I still really liked him and didn't want to let him go, but dropped the ugly bomb anyway. He was quite upset, and so was I (me more so because I hurt him than the fact I was hurting).

It was a high price to pay for a "feel good" and I am happy to be going back to my fun and flirty, have a blast while you can self.

Lesson learned.


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