Spinning my wheels...  

virtualgirl81008 46F
228 posts
4/25/2006 9:39 am

Last Read:
5/2/2006 9:40 am

Spinning my wheels...

All of a sudden it feels like life has become slow motion. Going nowhere fast as the saying goes.

I can see where I want to be, but it feels like I'm trudging through mud to get there. Why am I in such a hurry? Should I not stop to smell the roses a bit?

My father's birthday was yesterday. It is a bitter sweet 2 year old memory for me. We had a party to say goodbye. Then he was gone. I miss him.

I always tend to evaluate at this point in the year. Am I doing what I should be? Would I make him proud? Am I really happy?

A few things on my shoulders right now. A long distance love, a new amazing job opportunity after I just received a promotion from my current job, needing to completely cut off contact with my ex-husband, needing to move to a new house, and so forth. Things are not bad, per se, but they just feel heavy.

It is a gloomy day. The sun went away on Sunday and I think my cheerful disposition went with it. Don't take things so seriously, I often have to remind myself. Tomorrow is another day...


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
4/25/2006 9:57 am

You see the light at the end of the tunnel and you are eager to get there, life just doesn't work at the speed you so desire it too. congradulations on the job, as for doing what you should be, only you can answer that question, as for making your father proud, all fathers are proud of their kids, whether they admit it or not, are you really happy, again, only you can answer that question.


rm_kelli4u2dew 41F
5220 posts
4/25/2006 10:02 pm

I just went through a lot of transformations myself, some similar to yours.

I was extremely gratified by the promotion I got, but if, as you say, it's an "amazing job opportunity", then you seriously need to consider it. Which one will you regret not taking in 2-5 years?

Yeah, the long-distance romance thing sucks. It is the major downer in my life right now.

The major reason I moved half way across the country was to finish cutting off all contact with my ex. You have no idea how wonderful that has been.

Good luck, hon. Anything I can do, just yell.

Hugs,
Kelli


dcos 55M

4/26/2006 7:05 am

ok sage advice from an old guy....

I learned a long time ago that all you can do is your best in life..... Since you are the only one who knows if you are doing your best you get to be the judge..... As far as fathers go there has never been a time when i havent been proud of my child. He may frustrate me but that never goes away. What would probably have made him happiest is to see you happy, smile genuine smiles and live your life to the fullest... dont comprimise.....

Oh one more thing ........ only worry about the things that you can control....... if you have no way to modify the outcome of something put six degrees of seperation between you and it and try to live on.... the try is the hardest part....

Take Care


bardicman 50M

4/26/2006 6:01 pm

Just take a deep breath and smile.

The clouds in your mind will dissapate and the sun will come shining through again. Until that time lean on your friends shoulders and let them help you through.



I am not dead yet


bulging_boy 49M

5/1/2006 1:00 am

I like the fact that you have a point that makes you take stock and evaluate where you are.

I'm sorry it's such a personal one for you, but it's nice that you do think that way.

Of course it doesn't matter where you are... life is a funny old beast, but I guess so long as you have done and been the best you can be - you have nothing to look back and be sad about.

I'm sure your dad will be smiling everytime he is in your thoughts, as I imagine everyone would be.


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