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The Mean Streets
The Mean Streets
The next few weeks were rough indeed ,but the roughest ,those were still to come. This was the summer of 1982....I should try and correct the time line as I go, I wasnt 19, try and understand ,if you can,I just dont remember very well , It was a long row to hoe,it all seems fuzzy now. This was Jackson California,
nesteled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountians,Gold minning town,during the the gold it bosted a population greater than San Fransisco. my great grand mother lived near there and my grand parents were there caring for in her last days,this was where my father had sent me. I spent the summer couch surfing and sleeping in cars ,when I could afford one, and until the cops wuold take them away. But mostly just partyed, it was summer and I didnt care.
That changed quickly enough tho,November rolled in with a bang ,one of the worst blizerds on record,I think they called the hundred year storm. I had managed to make several friends ,so I thought ,on the streets ,I figured we would all just camp together share resorces and weather the winter. This was to be my first encounter with fiar weather friends. It turned out that all these kid had moms and dads and home to go to for the winter , and found my self very alone in that hundred year storm.
There are lots of kinds of lonly,I wont even try to list them all.but that winter ,on the streets ,in the cold ,alone ,was probably the lonlyest Ive ever been. That winter I danced for the first time with true insanity. I was the target of much ammusment by the local high school football team, they loved to ruost me from my camp and kick my ass for fun.I quess it was for them.I once spent 36 hours awake in fear of sleep in a public bathroom ,freezin rain had drove me in there ,lack of sleep and hunger drove me mad. Fortunatly for me the local cops were pretty good at putting me in jail just before I died. Back then I rather looked forward to jail. I learned latter that juviniles arent supposed to locked up in jail with adults, but then ..... I would not have commplained.
I learned to whore my body that winter,sad what can happen to you at the edge of sanity. There was an older man who owned a hotel in town,one of my streety friends told me he would help me thru the winter with money and somtime a room, just for helpin out with cleaning and such. Iwas in position to bargin ,so I met him,seemed nice enough at first,fed me right away,bought me some new boots ,I realy needed them,old canvas sneackers just dont keep old man winter at bay. over a few weeks time he won my trust ,sort of ,if I could realy trust any one at that time. He Introduced me to cokaine,I must addmit I rather liked coke ,it made me numb,and I needed to be numb. Ultimatly tho,his friendship was just a rouse, dont get me wrong , I saw it comin, and allowed it to happen, I needed the money .I allways said that I would try any thing once twice if I iked it,..... well I keept the coke habit for anther year or so,.... but that was the last time I ever trusted a man, or allowed one to touch me.
Early that spring , after much begging with my father ,He came and got me and took me home, I wasent quite done with jackson tho, 2 months later I had to walk 160miles to go to jail there ,trying to clean up my past. My father let me down when I got out ,siad I got my self there I could stay.
There are so many stories from that one year or so I was there, I could write a hole book just for it . but my life moved on. I did have my fist official girl friend, there ,we absolutly hated each other from the moment we met, how could I refuse that ,She was the only person I knew that didnt want somthing....from me .we never did have sex,both of us had freesh bad experiances with sex ,and old perves.
next chapter.......Jail Days