Why are we here?  

velvetgrrrl 39F
1118 posts
7/1/2006 2:44 pm

Last Read:
1/22/2007 11:30 pm

Why are we here?


Lately I've contemplated why I am still on this site after the years I've been here. I have been through heartahce, turmoil, good times and bad. With a boyfriend and without.

I have an addiction to sex, I admit it. The thrill of that crescendo when two bodies finally peak and fall back to reality whether its a few seconds or minutes matters not. It's a way to enjoy all aspects of our bodies. I have never been one lackin in interest despite my fairly average appearance. I go to a bar, I meet others and potentially it leads to these wonderous extracurricular activites but I've been turnign down the offers as of late and so i went soul searching to figure out why.

I recently had fallen in love with someone and the sad reality is that it may not necessarily be in my cards right now, the stars are not perfectly aligned, the fates have not deemed it so. For whatever reason it didn't happen however we're still friends and there still seems to be some interest between us, although I could be follishly hoping.

So I took back to my old philosophy again. Meet people, if it feels right do it. The negative to this is it has fallen back into the old apttern I'm not interested in re-treadingd. The one where I see them till the sex deal is completed and then we find ourselves never conversing again. At that point I would rather visit my old friends right and left and have them perform the job to at least a small, but still existing orgasmic climax, which is more than I get from some past partners.
I end up feeling worse about myself, that the interest is lacking or perhaps I was lousy. In any case it does not help my already fragile psyche seeing as how I'm alone in the first place.

I want someone like myself. Maybe someone who's matured emotionally and spiritually who can love me and enjoy all aspects of a healthy relationship. Someone who also enjoys playing with others without the emotional commitment. It takes a long time to get to where I'm at from what I've been told. I'm just tired of making thois journey alone with only occasional and brief travellers. Perhaps I am old fashioned after all, with a new age twist.

Does anyone else experience this? Has anyone else found that once the deal is closed you don't hear from them again and yet there is no closure that they're not interested? Is it bad to no longer want to be alone but still enjoy all the aspects of a swingin lifestyle? Are there people out there who can differentiate love and lust and exploit it to its fullest potential?


`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
7/1/2006 3:13 pm

I would recommend you don't go to bars to meet people.

That's a no-no.

Most of them are just looking for sex, nothing more.

I don't think the swinging lifestyle lends itself to closure.

If you want closure, perhaps stick to monogamous relationships.

There is less drama that way.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


velvetgrrrl 39F

7/1/2006 5:06 pm

Itsnot that I'm looking for mongamy cause thats the last thing i want. However i am looking for someoen a little more than just one time. It's just too dangerous these days and certainly less than fulfilling

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


DIVISION77 39M  
8321 posts
7/1/2006 6:59 pm

    Quoting velvetgrrrl:
    Itsnot that I'm looking for mongamy cause thats the last thing i want. However i am looking for someoen a little more than just one time. It's just too dangerous these days and certainly less than fulfilling
If you don't want monogamy, then how can you expect any stability or closure?

You won't get that with a FWB relationship and definitely not with a NSA type.

If you allow guys to fuck you without any commitment, then they surely will.

That is why people have monogamous relationships, because there is stability.

Even with a FWB, there is no promise of closure or stability.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


velvetgrrrl 39F

7/1/2006 7:40 pm

Oh I absolutely understand I just think that a FWB relationship is one of those things I am seeking out. And sadly, I already came to your same conclusion which is why my virator has found more use as of late vs my condom stock

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


rm_dementional 42M
13 posts
7/3/2006 2:39 pm

I think it's more common than not, that what people (of any gender or persuasion) want is amazing nuclear-powered sex with infinite variety (which means variety in partner often) but also some kind of companion who will not abandon you, even though things may change, and emotions shift...

Some very very lucky few enter into a committed, yet open relationship. I think I've come across a handful of open marriages (acquaintances, not partners.) And I've always been impressed and a little envious. If I let my imagination get more carried away, I'd probably be consumed with jealousy. I frequently get more commitment than I want, or much less commitment than I want...


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