Letting one's self go  

velvetgrrrl 39F
1118 posts
8/6/2006 6:45 pm

Last Read:
2/15/2008 12:11 am

Letting one's self go

I've been dealing with some depression lately and I think it has gotten the better of me. I quit working out to reduce the leftover baby fat from my son, which of course just adds to the depression. I am, of course always going to find something that can be improved with myself, not that I find I'm unhappy with what I have, just for a healthier and happier lifestlye I could stand to be back to my pre-son days.
My ass got big. Is that a bad thing? I hear constantly that men love a nice ass and mine is still pretty shaped cause I go clubbing twice a week. Can't give up my goth industrial nights (and they happen to coincide with dad's days with boy. My breasts could be perkier. I'm 29 not grandma with the tits sagging to her knees and althogh they don't sag much due to my constant paranoia they are big. 36D on a 5'1 girl is a bit of a larger chest But I like em I think I just want to work em up so there is a bit of muscle under these puppies. LoL
Then there is the leftover bit of stretched skin around my stomach this is what makes me unhappiest. I want to work this out and I have been doing the gym three times a week on top of the club nights.

Those of you who have had children what have you don't to get back to where you once were? Men if you go work out what are soome good techniques? I need to be a size 7/8 again not a 12. I'm too short for that lol


`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


BuxomSignaDixie 43M

8/7/2006 2:55 am

Based on the pics I've seen, and your cam... I wouldn't worry so much. That's easy for me to say, but you really look great.


Willysjeepcj2a 60M
109 posts
8/7/2006 12:13 pm

My dear, the best of love and sex is between the ears and not the legs or tits. Yes we have a "ideal" that we would want to be or again be. But that is not realy matters at all. going to dump a person for a scar on there knee? Only go out with beautiful people with there noses in the air? Should you not look for someone that desires you for who you are? One thats desires to give their all to you? This is what you should seek. Be as good as you can be, but dont over do it. Where should your focus be, on them, on you, or on the both of you? Peace be with you


DIVISION77 39M
8328 posts
8/7/2006 9:10 pm

Based on what you're describing, I'd recommend specific ab isolation exercises to tone that area and hopefully reduce the stretched skin you are complaining about.

Without seeing you in person it's hard to judge how much of this is real and how much is just self-perception and bad self-image.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


Transblucency 44M

8/7/2006 9:38 pm

What DIV said, plus additional 'hard' cardio. The kind that leaves you dripping and doubled over, if you can do it. That will ramp up your fat burning. You don't need to go for more than half an hour (won't be able to, if you're doing it right).

It's probably worth pointing out that, in some cases, there's going to be a bit of loose skin left over from pregnancy. It's not fat and it can maybe be mitigated a little with muscular tone, but otherwise it's there for good unless you pay for surgery, which most guys would think unnecessary. These marks, like stretchmarks, are an honorable record of your pregnancy - proof of passage. It gives your body more of a backstory but, whether you like it or not, it may be something you have to live with.


velvetgrrrl 39F

8/8/2006 12:09 pm

Div-

Thanks, and thanks Huny, Widget and Trans. I have a friend whom I am friends with his wife. Made friends with them through here and they have been good people to go talk to. Anyhow he is a Bodybuilder and alr=though that is not what I'm going for he pointed a bit of the same. he also pointed I could stand to tighten the gluts anf thighs a bit too but thats divulging that I jiggle like jello more than I care to admit. He suggested a lot of cardio, like trans and I do twenty to thirty minutes 3 times a week. Should I do more? I go club too which is hardcore dancing for me as I was once going to be a dancer, so I'm a show off sometimes. LOL. And as far as isolated are you suggesting more than just crunches? If so what should I be doing. There have been a lot of health issues with my parents recently and I just don't want to be where they are in twenty years. I'd like to be healthy and active and able to enjoy my later years once my kids have grown

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


velvetgrrrl 39F

8/8/2006 12:11 pm

Trans

Do you feel that if a guy chooses to look past me cause I have some skin there still that they're shallow. I often feel I'm over looked because of this extra skin. Then again I could be just shy enough that I don't clue into when someone is interested. Who knows for sure

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


DIVISION77 39M
8328 posts
8/8/2006 4:00 pm

    Quoting velvetgrrrl:
    Div-

    Thanks, and thanks Huny, Widget and Trans. I have a friend whom I am friends with his wife. Made friends with them through here and they have been good people to go talk to. Anyhow he is a Bodybuilder and alr=though that is not what I'm going for he pointed a bit of the same. he also pointed I could stand to tighten the gluts anf thighs a bit too but thats divulging that I jiggle like jello more than I care to admit. He suggested a lot of cardio, like trans and I do twenty to thirty minutes 3 times a week. Should I do more? I go club too which is hardcore dancing for me as I was once going to be a dancer, so I'm a show off sometimes. LOL. And as far as isolated are you suggesting more than just crunches? If so what should I be doing. There have been a lot of health issues with my parents recently and I just don't want to be where they are in twenty years. I'd like to be healthy and active and able to enjoy my later years once my kids have grown
Crunches.

Reverse crunches.

Weighted side raises.

Situps.

Generally each exercise for 3 sets of 20 repetitions.

You have to build tolerance because you are working your core muscles, not just your abs.

I think you'd be better off doing powerwalking at an incline as that burns fat moreso than pure cardio.

Cardio works, but it's not going to help you burn more calories at rest.

It's alot easier to show you than tell you.

DIV

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur


velvetgrrrl 39F

8/8/2006 4:55 pm

It's alot easier to show you than tell you.

Isn't that always the case! Le Sigh!

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


SecretEarNoTears 47F  
767 posts
8/14/2006 11:50 am

When I had my daughter I had eclampsia (not just the pre) and was in renal failure the last month I carried her...as a result I came away (to the doctor's surprise) with damage to my thyroid and renal glands. Everytime I tried to exercise I would end up looking more and more like Barney as I just retained all the sweat. I took me about 6 to 7 yrs to find a doctor who ended up being a naturopath that was willing to help. Then couple years after treatment I was able to start exercising.

One of the best things I found to clear my body and also my mind, heart and soul was smacking a little blue ball with a big stick that had a grid attached to the end. Not to glorify it but racquetball uses about every inch of your body to really play it ... and yes, shapes your tummy and ass into nice curves! Just remember to strech and on alternate days to some weight lifting. One of the trainers showed me the pilates ball...man...that can give your abs and ass a good work out too!

I've got a few free 30 day passes to a couple of the big clubs (my employer offers them and big break in fees). If you want one or a couple let me know!

Oh...one thing I've learned...don't let other people dictate to you what you should look like. If you are comfortable with yourself and know that you are doing your best...you will attract people. Most guys that are worth anything will be attracted to a confident smile, friendly voice and someone that has a mind of their own!

Good luck!


Sixthandpowell 48F

8/15/2006 5:50 pm

I've seen you on web cam in the chat rooms, you look great! Don't worry. In a big ass contest, I'd win. And my current skinny tall FWB says he likes my ass. He likes it! I think he said that with his glasses off though.

I'm such a dork, I liked your look so much last night that I IMMEDIATELY went to the bathroom and put on some nice dark eye shadow. I wore it that way to work today as well.


velvetgrrrl 39F

8/15/2006 6:30 pm

Sixth- Did you? That's so awesome and thanks for making me smile. I was told confidence is key and I'm beginning to believe it but I guess I"m just shy in the personal ways. I'm not shy in general. I love making friends. Meeting people and having someone totalk to but I don't have a lot of CLOSE friends. People I really trust to talk to about anything. Did the eyeshadow work nice for you though? It's such an exotic look I've adored for years

`Velvet
Hell is when u should have walked away, but u didn't.


Sixthandpowell 48F

8/19/2006 12:48 pm

Yeah, I've been doing it darker as of late. I have similar glasses to yours, so it's not as noticable when I go dark. If I wore my contacts I think it would really stand out.


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