Being male on AFF  

ut_heathen 43M
13 posts
5/17/2006 9:25 pm

Last Read:
2/9/2007 8:48 am

Being male on AFF


I have been wanting to post something on this for a while. A chat last night on IM with a local girl reminded me of the topic.

People come to AdultFriendFinder for several reasons, but I expect most males experience the same things. One of the biggest frustrations is all of the fake female profiles. I expect most men figure it out, but not before it is too late and whatever e-mail address they used to sign-up is in the throws of porn-spam-hell.

Example: Guy Innocent signs up for AdultFriendFinder wanting to get laid. He searches for local females and send e-mails to a few. He may even include his e-mail address in a moment of horny stupidity. Several women reply to Guy with enticing responses and promises of ecstasy and request his e-mail address to talk further or hook up. Mr. Innocent complies. Said females never respond to further on or off site e-mails. And after a day or two he gets so much porn spam he thinks AdultFriendFinder sold his e-mail to spammers or something.

This reflects poorly on AdultFriendFinder and it is no wonder they as people to not share private e-mails and to report such profiles for review.

I can see some guys reading this now thinking to themselves. So that 20 year old in pony tails, stripped stockings, holding a lollipop doesn't want to fuck me? OR That hot chick from Texas that said she was coming to my hometown and needed someone to show her around didn't really want ME? Yep.. that's right... both profiles are probably the same fat hairy pornographer hard at work on his computer netting your e-mail.

Just use a disposable e-mail if you have to at all, and keep communication on site as long as possible... at least until you know the profile is real. Enough on that.

The other tough part about being male on AdultFriendFinder is the imbalance. Here are today's stats for Utah:

Men seeking Women 58,707 Listings
Women seeking Men 3,819 Listings

And considering the fake female profiles are probably a decent percentage, it's even worse than the numbers show. This means the women get inundated by e-mails and the men, well, don't get many responses (from the real profiles anyway).

The imbalance should not be a surprise... and that's why men need to try harder on their profiles and first e-mails, and women need to send a clear message in their profiles as to what they want and use the filtering mechanisms on the site.

Like the girl I chatted with last night said, "This site is for the girls".

This is my 2nd time on AdultFriendFinder and the first time was frustrating. I guess my expectations were off and I really hated the spam (which I was sure AdultFriendFinder was behind). I did hook up with someone though. But all the frustration with the site made me question the whole thing.

This time I have almost no expectations. I am hanging out. Blogging, winking, e-mailing a few people. I hope to make some friends and meeting interesting people. Of course I would like to hook up once in a while, but focusing on that makes this whole think sort of suck.

Damn long post. If you made it this far. What has it been like for you? I expect single men have more options and I really have only a small idea what the female side is like. The girl I met last year complained of men using fake pictures or otherwise lying about themselves. I was the only one she was attracted to... her other in-person meetings went poorly. Please let me know your experiences, good or bad!

Till next time......

ShyWhisper2006 53F
15175 posts
5/17/2006 10:05 pm

Yes the odds are way out of balance. And for me it is not the quantity of emails ...but the ones that do not say much about themselves and dont wish to find out much about another person. I am disappointed in some ways...have caught a few liars and have been pleasantly surprised by a few that actually put the effort into not only their profiles but in their message to me. It does help ...and it is better than the raw in your face kind that often find their way to me.
Good post and good luck with your searching as well.


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