unsatisfied1122 51M
27 posts
1/6/2006 2:07 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


Okay, so I'm just waking up yesterday, and my nephew tells me the lady down the street (the mother of one of his friends, with whom I'm marginally acquainted... she wants to braid my hair )needs a ride somewhere... she recently lost her job, and her car; I've been compassionate, because her kid spends a lot of time with my nephews and my own kids, and I've kind of adopted her as an "honorary daughter"... so even though I just woke up, Idrag on a pair of sweats, my sneakers, and take this lady out for what I think is a visit to a friend to borrow money.

What a surprise I was in for. We get into Petersburg (I didn't find out we were going there until we were in the car, going down the road), and she wants me to pull over at this gas station, park, and wait for her. As a one-time heavy drug user, my alarm bells are going off, but I give the lady the benefit of the doubt... in vain, because a few minutes later she comes back to the car bearing a rock of crack.

I didn't go off on this lady, because at this point in my life, I'm trying really, really hard not to be judgemental... I know from my few conversations with this lady, and many more with the daughter, that they've had it a bit rough over the years... but we rode most of the way back to her apartment in silence... I don't think she'll ask me to give her a ride anymore.

What gets me is this is a 40 year-old mother of two very beautiful, smart girls... I cringe at thinking what kind of life waits for them with this kind of parental influence.

49AK 55M
1823 posts
1/6/2006 4:42 pm

That's very sad.

We create our own hells...

1023 posts
1/6/2006 5:07 pm

Un, I gotta tell you how much this hit home for me. I've got custody of my two young ones and their mother is not in the picture. I changed my lifestyle and took a (much)lower paying job to be able to raise them. I feel bad about their future for it seems to be an ever growing occurance in America.

I really feel bad for the future of those girls you spoke of that are with their mom. It's so easy for the user to choose drugs over their family and that's a real shame. I gotta tell you that while she didn't say anything during the ride home, you're probably going to be hit up for rides or money in the future. Keep in mind that when they've got it, they're happy, quiet, and will offer noargument, BUT when they don't have it or want or "need" it, they'll do whatever it takes to get their way in that regard. Maybe not yet, but it will likely get that way for her.

If I can put it like this, my ex lost her car, license, home, various jobs, KIDS, husband, and went to jail for 8 months. She's not stopped either, it's that important. A user is likely to try to get you on it too, so watch out. I don't know what to tell you about her kids, other than be glad they're not yours as well. Take care of you and yours, stay safe, and stick to your guns. Good luck and much respect.

_Safira 53F
11260 posts
1/6/2006 6:00 pm

I agree with you. What demons lie in our souls; yes? Compassion is appreciated where, oftentimes, derision is the norm. Perhaps by your attitude she'll find that self-same awareness and compassion FOR herself and do what she must to overcome her addiction. *gentle hugs*

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

RECOMMENDED READING: A F F ... The Only Site For Me?

unsatisfied1122 51M

1/6/2006 10:53 pm

Thanks, all... I know she will probably hit me up for more (insert favor here)... in fact, just after I met her (within 24 hours) she sent her daughter over to hit me up for $20...

Damn. Having a sense of nobility sucks sometimes... now all I can think about is the youngest girl (who is 9) coming home from school and finding Mom all strung out or doped up.

What to do, what to do... do commit the popular sin of feigning ignorance? I do so hate being dragged into other people's drama, but lately (since I made some rather personal spiritual realizations), these situations just seem to keep throwing themselves in my path.


1023 posts
1/7/2006 2:14 pm

I think better than acting like it didn't happen, would be best to let her have it about how you feel about it. My ex has this thing of avoidance to where as long as no one mentions it, it didn't happen. I think if you give her a piece of your mind about this, that an actual boundry will be set and there could be no mistake of "Oh, Unsatisfied, I had no idea you felt that way". It could happen and I just hope you don't put yourself out there just to get hurt or burned for your efforts. Take care! Good luck!

unsatisfied1122 51M

1/8/2006 9:36 am

Thanks, HV... I think I'm going to talk to her this weekend... just to make sure she knows where I stand on things... I'm still a compassionate fella, but I'm not going to be an enabler.

Become a member to create a blog