The Guaranteed, Sure-Fire, Can't-Lose Way For Men To Meet People on AFF  

unchainedphila 51M/42F
74 posts
12/10/2005 12:39 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Guaranteed, Sure-Fire, Can't-Lose Way For Men To Meet People on AFF

Having been on AdultFriendFinder for a while now, I have seen how men get roundly ignored by the vast majority of women and couples on here. So I have come up with a three-step approach which I believe will work for any man:

1. Have a girlfriend or wife and run a couples ad. The fact is, consciously or unconsciously, women and couples trust you more if you already are in a relationship. It's a proxy stamp of approval. I can hear you saying, "But Unchained, if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be on AdultFriendFinder!", to which I reply, "Think big, my friend." (Actually, I would think, "Why can't you get a girlfriend, loser?" ) Rule of thumb: Running a couples ad without actually having a girlfriend does not work. Neither does cheating.

2. Don't Be A Dick. I am pretty consistently appalled by the loutish behavior of guys on here. Here are a few tips: Choose a good handle - if you call yourself "FuxEmNLvsEm" or "DesperateGuy" then you're starting off with a handicap. They are women, not girls, and none of them are named "Baby." Don't insult anyone - people talk and compare notes. Have a couple of good pics. No closeups of your cock- if you feel you must share a nude photo, make it one of the whole body. Woman assume you have a penis and it works, what they want to know is how it looks in context. Read the ad before approaching someone. (If you can't read the ad because you're a standard member, see rule #3.) Not reading the ad sends the message that you are solely interested in someone because they possess a vagina, which women find insulting, so do your best to hide that fact. Your first email to someone is an opportunity to sell yourself in a paragraph, so use it. "Check out my profile and let me know" is like telling someone you don't care enough to try to attract their interest. A good first email includes something that you liked from the profile of the person you're writing to and should have your best non-nude pic attached - even if you have your pics on your profile, people are lazy, so make it easier on them by attaching the pic. If you're writing to a standard member, attach your profile, too, since they can't see it.

3. Make the Commitment. You might join AdultFriendFinder and meet someone fun and cool right away, but probably you won't, especially if you haven't done this online dating thing much. Meeting people online is a skill, and it takes time to learn any skill. So craft a good profile and get some good pics and expect to spend a lot of time. Go into your local AdultFriendFinder chat room and try to make friends with the regulars - they talk to a lot of the same people you want to meet. And don't stay as a standard member. I don't make any commission from AdultFriendFinder for saying this (and believe me, I know AdultFriendFinder is far from ideal or cheap), but break down and spend the $150 for a year's gold membership. Why? First of all, so you don't look like a cheap bastard. (This is similar to why, while on a dinner date, you must tip well - and if you are not familiar with this rule, then you need more help than I can provide, my friend.) Second, AdultFriendFinder is a community of sorts, and it takes time to be accepted by the members of any community. Third, being premium allows you to read profiles, which shows how much you care, which is especially important if you really don't. As someone once said, sincerity is the most important trait, so if you can fake that you've got it made. And actual sincerity is even better.

unchainedphila 51M/42F

12/16/2005 12:50 am

I don't think so. I think their service basically sucks.

RockPebble 69M
2484 posts
12/16/2005 1:23 pm

Great info, any tips for a married guy? Thanks & happy holidays.

unchainedphila 51M/42F

12/18/2005 2:05 pm


RockPebble 69M
2484 posts
12/19/2005 7:24 pm

Believe it or not that's an option I'm trying to avoid. Thank you.

unchainedphila 51M/42F

12/19/2005 8:43 pm

Sorry to be glib. Have you asked your wife to swing or to let you have other relationships?

pleasureyourclit 66M
836 posts
1/7/2006 6:23 am

Nice tips and advice... interesting blog I might add!

Enjoy life!

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