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mind meanders, typing as I think.
mind meanders, typing as I think.
I recently attended a wedding, in fact I held back a trip to visit an old friend in Ibiza just so I could attend this celibration. The ceremony was a poinient and beautiful occasion, but as allways I was bored with the tedium of the pomp and circumstance well before we were released from the captivity of the registry office, but it was the reception that I was looking forward too. But it soon transpired that with the exception of a few elderly courtecy 'aunts and uncles' I was the only non family member pressent. The brides only unacompanied sister was almost instantly introduced to me. And as the guests arrived we struck up a friendly conversation.
As the guests arrived, it became obviouse that there was a lot of bad blood between variouse groups of family, mostly it seemed due to family splits and new partners, an old story to all I am sure, and of no interest to me then nor now. But it definatly set the mood, TENSE!
So I turned to the refreshments table to numb my self with a little drink, only to find that the only refreshments were the dozen or so bottles of wine recently brought over from the calais hypermarket, and I dont think the wine had been tasted prior to purchase. I dont normally drink much wine, I allways seem to select vinigar, even when I am following advice or retrieving a duplicate that I enjoyed over a meal previously. But I do enjoy a nice glass of wine , unfortunatly this was not what I considerd to be a nice wine. .. Hmmmmmm there was a shop/offlicence in this village, so I ducked out and popped down the road to buy a bottle or six only to find the shop closed at mid day.
On return to the party vodka-less, I joined in the queue for the buffet, which was a banquet and a half, all prepared by the brides daughter and her partner, yum!!, and found myself sitting with unacompanied sister again, and no before you think we are going down that particular road , im afraid we are not, there was no fire in the eyes of this woman that I could see, not even a spark glinting in the corner. Perhaps Im lazy, but I cant get predatory with women, unless I attract her, and see the glint of desire staring back at me when I look in her eyes, I dont feel it neccessary to pursue a sexual encounter, after all it wouild probably be a dissapointment, I do keep getting told im a little odd in some of my ways, but I do really like my sex and I only want to have good sex, and that means sex with somone I share a connection with, I have had all the sex I want with partners who are disconnected, either curled up in thier own world, or screaming itno the rafters at no-one in particular, I need the connection, the eye contact, the mutual centre to spiral upwards with the lust feeding the desire which in turn feeds the lust and up we go together, hmmmm Its been too long without a little of that, hmm, anyway I digress,
So there I was sat sipping very slowley on the sharp fluid passed of as wine chain smoking with boredom casting my eye over the small crowd of polerized groups dotted about when I found myself starring deep into the brownest eyes alive with fire. on the next table sat someone with eyes that were melting me with thier intencity, It felt as if I had been starring for half an hour when I focused to find that the woman I was sharring this moment with was hardly a woman at all, just a slip of a girl, now imeadiatly guessed her age at 19-20, but I am fully aware that I have optomistic eyes, and I checked again, and while this young woman would have passed for 20 , she was not, no way, much younger, after all im well into my 40's now, and there I was sat at a wedding of two good friends having severly inappropriate thoughts about one of thier close relations????? WHOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! I was begining to thank all the worlds deities that the wedding was as good as dry, because after a few GnT's I doubt I would remember that Im facing my 43rd Bday soon.
But it got me thinking, through out my life I have been attracted to women mostly older than myself, probably because I like to share my time with confident and reasonable people, but now I am finding my head turned more and more by the young and the beautiful, why is it that now it is getting innapropriate for me to be looking this way my desires are leading me in this direction? Especially since I find it hard to belive that an 20yr old young woman would be interested in the prospect of sharing anything with me, a two decade gap in cultural refferences alone would create too may silent awkward moments.
I guess I can now say that I am having my own little mid life crisis, oh well, you never know I may go out this evening and find myself bathing in the fire of desire in the eyes of a totally appropriate woman I hope so hehe.