Is age a factor?  

twoblondes 36M/47F
17 posts
11/14/2005 10:23 am

Last Read:
7/3/2006 9:28 pm

Is age a factor?

Do you think age makes a difference? my husband and I are 11 years apart, him being younger. I see things allot different than my husband. Our conception on time is much different. I think the age difference has allot to do with it or maybe it's because I am a woman and he is a man. I think men look at things allot different than women do.We were having a conversation about spending time together and we defiantly do not see things the same. Don't get me wrong sex is a very very important part of a relationship but so is spending quality time together.I have five children from a previous marriage,three of them are just about to move out. I always seem to be able to spend time with them,clean,cook and have time for my husband, but he never has time, except for sex . Why do women have to have all the emotional baggage? I still like to do all things I did when I was younger. I started having kids when I was still a kid myself and I kind of grew with them. I am still very young at heart but still like quality time ALONE with him. Am I asking to much of him? I know he works his @!@ off to support all of us. I feel like a big pile of ~^~ for feeling this way. Does anyone have any advice for me? Hopefully someone out there will give me some good advice. Hope y'all have a great day.{=}

rm_GypsieSon 35M
2 posts
11/14/2005 11:21 am

Age can be a factor sure but it's not the way that most people think, it's a matter of perspective that is as individual as an other part of the persons experiences. Timing matters a lot to many guys especially if there's a work issue, sometimes getting done with work just requires an adjustment, a bit of time to switch gears. And often after that decompression time it's hard to muster the desire to get up out and doing things again even if it's within a relationship you enjoy. I've been involved with a lady my own age (for seven and a half years) and then later with a lady who was more than twice my age (for just over three years) in both cases we're still friends and I mention all this to illiterate that I put in the time to know these ladies and our relationships. In both cases I was the one who took care of the house more and worked less (for the most part, the point is that it was time wise reversed from the normal gender rolls) and in both cases after a while especially while money was tight I found myself in your side of the position. I don't think you're off for wanting more, that desire is natural. Yet it might be that he just doesn't have the energy to do a whole lot more right now (I don't know your situation precisely so of course I can't say). My advice is to find ways to spend time with him that you can take care of most of the "elbow grease" on, that's what worked for me. Often all it takes is being able to get your partner involved and enjoying it without a whole lot of up front energy and you're golden. The other thing to keep in mind is to temper yourself, just because you have the time and energy doesn't mean he will (I learned that) and especially where you're about to have fewer of the brood at home so money will be (maybe) less tight, and time should be as well it's worth being a bit patient if it seems like things are going to let up a little.

That's just the two cents of a guy who doesn't think age is an issue, but admits it can be a factor.


KMA5 40M
771 posts
11/14/2005 11:40 am

I think you both are very comfortable in your marriage and it is obvious you didn't marry just for sex. After 5 kids, I'm surprised you still want sex
The only thing I canthink of would be that after working, he needs his own personal time. We all do. Maybe on his days off, you guys can do something a bit less trivial than fuck till you're dehydrated. Ask ahead of time when he will be off and buy some tickets to something he likes: movie, play, sports. Guys hate to see money wasted on tickets and they will be forced to go (share this secret with no one) Don't feel badly about wanting to spend time with the one you love because I'm sure he loves being with you just as much

bear77344 60M
103 posts
11/14/2005 11:45 am

I think it has to do more with the family dynamic than the age difference. First they aren't his kids, right? He didn't get used to spending time with them as they grew up from small children. and they aren't his; so you probably are asking to much of him to spend time with your kids. Especially if he's working @@ off. Forgive yourself for feeling that way though. In the best of worlds you'd be sharing more time together, normal to want that. Other things like cooking cleaning most guys weren't raised to think about doing that stuff. If he won't make time for you both to go out together by yourselves occasionally maybe there is a deeper problem. Hope my two cents worth helps!

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