Real Swingers and the problems with hooking up  

twist_couple 47M/45F
15 posts
4/29/2005 12:25 pm

Last Read:
8/17/2006 10:47 pm

Real Swingers and the problems with hooking up

Hello again friends, neighbors, and future lovers. It is time for our monthly Blog...the topic "Real Swingers and the problems with hooking up."

We have noticed since entering the wonderful world of electronic swinger dating a growing problem, the fact that no one seems interested in ever meeting. People post, send winks, emails, and post blogs letting strangers know their interest and seeing the most private parts of their bodies and yet responses in actual meetings do not seem to equal the amount of time and money spent on acuring the potiental new mate.

Why is this? We have ran into many swing friends using the electronic media to sublament their onsite time at clubs to meet new people, and they all say the same things: “we talked to this couple for a while and nothing” or “they always seem to start out communicating alot...then as soon as you add them to your network they disappear” (nothing happening meaning no meeting...not just sex).

Strange isn’t it? Why would people spend hours on the interent chatting, exchanging pictures, and what not only to never meet. We understand the possiblity of fakers out there, however to assume that a majority of people using the electronic media are fakers?

We have entertained the idea that physical attractiveness could play a role in it, however how does this explain those situations in which pictures are available, people still chat, only to have the end result be no meeting?

(when thinking of an answer to this.. one thing to note is that at no time does anyone say “we AREN’T interested or we don’t really want to meet in person.)

Lets have a fun discussion...till next time

Hugs, kisses, and sloppy theigh misses


rm_blkntan77 46M/39F
2 posts
4/29/2005 1:32 pm

aman to that we have chatted sent pics numerous winks and to no avail no meetings with any of the couples that we have been in contact with constantly, what is the real problem, maybe it is because alot of people say they are secure when they really aren' just say hey not intrested takes about 30secs to type and send, if we receive a wink or mail we want to see what the dam deal is, so before you wink, email, or whatever to blkntan let it be on your mind from the gate, we play hard in the paint....bottom line if you are scared say so...stay out of grown folks situations....

lookingforu825 43M
10 posts
4/29/2005 2:38 pm

I think as people are scared to meeting up, as they fear the unknown and therefore they rather chat on the net, then really get down to it.

I recently met someone in person, my first, and I think the impression she had in her mind has now cleared, and am waiting to see where this leads to.

Apolybear 54M

4/30/2005 12:14 pm

I think AdultFriendFinder has all kinds of people with all kinds of agendas. Some have no life and live in self-induced fantasies. Other get their kicks from creating an alternative personna and fucking with other people. The list must be endless. All we can do is screen people to the best of our abilities and keep plugging away...

twist_couple 47M/45F

5/3/2005 9:04 pm

So...the question still what most of us pay on this there a way to screen people so that you don't waste hours upon hours of needless emails that will go no where. Is there a way to get people to not "fear the unknown" when they never tell you they have fears...and how do we get fakers, liers and cheaters to "stay out of grown folks situations.... "

hedonismpattaya 55M/38F  
39 posts
5/26/2005 4:08 am

I think that many new-comers to the swinging scene (myself & wife included) have many reservations and a lot of trepidations. Simply to say "stay out of grown folks situations.... " isn't going to achieve what you want. Perhaps look at the way that you communicate with people, are you too pushy, too dominant or perhaps too uncertain?
I don't know how any one person has successes while other people constantly have rejection, all I do know from my own personal experiences is that starting out can be scarey, intimidating and then there is the whole confidentiality thing.
In my case we are also dealing with two people, two decisions and two timetables. It seems that when I'm ready to take the plunge my wife isn't and visa versa.
At the end of the day I suppose it all comes down to patience!

Bonesalive 63M
1 post
7/5/2005 5:33 pm

I think some people are just scared to meet.then again a lot of people seemed to play with you with no attention of meeting.the unfortunate part of that is people prepar themselves to meet waiting for a e-mail and have no answer.there are guys out there who have profiles as couples and talk as if they were ready to meet with a couple or a single guy.and when we think were about to get a e-mail saying the wife will not be their.and then want to meet in some back corner.far from the plans of going out to dinner entertainment and returning to a motel.I get a lot of e-mails from couple that are interested in me.when I asked where and what time. I get reply.what do you want to do explain in details what you want us to do.after replying to their e-mail.several times and when it seems like we are ready to meet. (last e-mail I get).I am honest about myself I am a bi-mail single I love pleasing both men and women. my goal is to do what it takes to satisfy my partners. BONESALIVE

Looking4Fun0806 54M
16 posts
11/10/2005 11:26 am

It sounds stupid, but the human condition is such that it is often beyond me to figure it all out.

Often times it's easier to not sweat the small stuff and have fun!

rm_dk138nyc 64M/60F
2 posts
4/7/2007 11:41 am

I think Miss Conduct hit a big part of the nail on the head. Too much other stuff going on. Not enough time. Couple that with those couples that get cold feet, then you end up with what we have all experienced. But once a connection is made and its successful, what a fun time is had by all!

Fantasy4u_2004 39M/43F

2/7/2008 7:28 am

as stated in our blog; we know within a few minutes if we want to play.

That being said, we are no longer spending the entire evening entertaining at a place we don't like to have a couple of female not be ready.

We find it reassuring to be able to take "no thank you" with a grain of salt. It is nice to know some take the time to tell you.
We make a point to convey this to others so they are not left hanging as well.

rm_jonjoyc 71M/64F

2/20/2008 12:38 pm

We have found this to be very true. I know of at least three for know. But have made several connections which have been very good. We have been stood up only once. Jonjoyc

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