Why women are cranky  

trollgirl 46F
23 posts
4/18/2006 1:52 am

Last Read:
4/20/2006 10:32 pm

Why women are cranky

We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 ten years old...give or take. Only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it broght us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods from about 12 to mid teens (or heaven forbid...sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little matttresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (That is IF he did it right), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

The it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over the porcelain God. Of course, amazing creature that we are (and yes...we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we peed our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)." Warranting a strong well deserved implulse to punch him and any other male with in reach square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom heades 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their "Teen Years". Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while our man has his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale? MENOPAUSE, the grandmother of all womanhood. Take HRT and risk cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or aforementioned nether regions or sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off of anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY seem more spiteful and moody than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, "womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a tad bit crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"?

Yeah right. Bite me.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
4/18/2006 3:18 am

LOL, gud post....

trollgirl 46F

4/20/2006 10:32 pm

Thank for your kind words

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