You Wouldn't Happen to Have Something Grey to Poop On Would Ya?  

travelingintexas 41M
3/27/2006 8:47 am
You Wouldn't Happen to Have Something Grey to Poop On Would Ya?


Air! I need air!

Where’s my legs? Damnit! When I left here this morning I had both of my legs and now I can’t find them!

Where the heck are my cigs? Would you be so kind as to hook this cig up to my IV please, that way I don’t have to use my arms? And by the way, you haven’t happened to have seen two legs lying around without a body have ya? If ya do, could you FedEx them to me?

Oh man… I met a new friend on Friday night. Guy is same age as me, has two sons the same age as my sons and he is new here too. We talked about the weather, hooties, his girlfriend, his church and we eventually talked about his workout regime. I call it a regime because I just went through it. We shall call my new friend Mr. Anger and Resentment!

Why Mr. Anger and Resentment? No, this is not a reflection of his attitude at all. It is my reflection of meeting him. Great guy, outgoing, fun, good looking and a freaking body builder wouldn’t ya know. So, of course as we talked on Friday night I explained the woe of working out alone and how that was one of my serious desires when I get settled in up here. (Of course I had been drinking some and you know me I never drink.) So of course, Mr. Anger and Resentment asked me to join him in the gym today and we could partner for a month or two and get me back on track “because he just loves helping guys get back on track!”

I should have done some running right then.

But no! I was brave and now half of my body fell off after this mornings “get to know you session.” Although, as I was doing crunches this morning I did notice something! I do have abs… down there somewhere because I felt them. I even poked them a couple of times during the crunches to be sure I was feeling actual abs under the fat and not the long lost twin my embryo swallowed while in the womb. I didn’t feel any teeth so I am pretty sure that was abs.

So my name for my new friend is more a measure of my emotion towards him than any character trait he possesses. In fact he smiled and laughed the entire time which was odd seeing how he just started training for that Ultimate Fighting Championship stuff. I expected him to chew on the head of chickens as I whined and cried for my mother this morning.

All and all it was a fantastic weeken...

Damnit... My arm just fell off...

PassionKisses4Me 44F

3/27/2006 9:10 am

I know it is so mean to laugh at your pain but OMG........ROFLMFAO........truly hope the soreness gets better baby...kisses



travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:07 am:


I am a bit sensitive... sorry, I'll get better!

veinthrob 42M

3/27/2006 9:27 am

Ha ha ha! I just started back after a month off. Figured I'd go with some mild clean and press followed up by a progression to max effort deads.

Today it feels like my head is floating on a bubble of pain!

Have fun and stay strong.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:42 am:
Dude.... what the hell are you talking about mild progressions to max pain deads?

LMAO It has been so long I just look and point and say "you want me to do that dooo hickey? How many times or do I go until I scream?"

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
3/27/2006 9:39 am

Shit, I thought you were in th Metallica video "One" for a second. I can smoke without arms, someone just has to light it for me and stick it in my mouth.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:07 am:
Yes but it is so much easier when it goes straight to the bloodstream like that...

Plus, movement hurts...

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
3/27/2006 9:49 am

He didn't happen to mention that we all chipped in and HIRED him to do this, did he?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:05 am:

southrnpeach333 50F

3/27/2006 9:52 am

I am now in about week 3 of my new torture routine. A couple bottles of aleeve, two heating pads and several hundreds baths and I am not so sore anymore and starting to enjoy the workout again.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:06 am:
Yea... I did all that...


I still am not enjoying it!

jadedbabe78 105F

3/27/2006 10:05 am

LOL...awww, that sucks....torture routines at the beginning always have a knack for making you feel like the world's laziest shit.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:09 am:
Nope... I felt like that before...

This gave everyone else the opportunity to confirm it for me!

fantasylover_05 62M

3/27/2006 10:06 am

Chin up my friend

It gets easier!! I began working out with a personal trainer again in January... the first week or so were a bit tough... but he has not made me sore since!! And he was a professional body builder as well!!

Now.... it seems to me.. without legs or an arm you wil be EASY TO APPREHEND AND BRING TO JUSTICE!!! LOL LOL

And as for your struggle "one handed typing"... no comment.. I will be nice for a change! LOL

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 10:10 am:
Nope! Sorc has me proppsed up in a kid safety seat so I can see over the dashboard....

polarcpl2share 48M/44F

3/27/2006 10:38 am

ROFLMAOOOOO ...sorry couldn't help it. Maybe it's KARMA for all the tags..LOL. Keep workin'll get better.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 12:05 pm:
Assuming I WAS responsible for the tagging, which I still refuse to admit to (although the proff is scattered everywhere... off the record) it probably is....

Do you know how painful it was to type this much?

Sorceror07 54M

3/27/2006 10:48 am

glue yourself back together again man! we've miles to burn before we rest!

how Trav made his great escape, part 3
how Trav made his great escape, part 2
How TRAV made his great escape....
JAILBREAK!!!! ...TravellinginTexas has escaped prison!

part 3 is in blog pergatory awaiting it's turn in the blog spool!

featured charactors are:

tiger and PK
cameo appearance by ticktock

introducing, metalmama, valdrane and tillerbabe

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 12:06 pm:
Awwww man.... I am soooo tired... can't I sleep for a little bit? All this excitement and working out makes me sleepy! Oh all right! I am coming!

crazygurl2xx 56F

3/27/2006 10:54 am

your legs are hiding out in fort worth but they won't come home until you promise not to ride 'em hard and put 'em up wet again!

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 12:07 pm:
How the heck did my legs get all the way over there!!!!!!

I knew I shouldnt have set the treadmill that high..... Urgggg...

I can't even walk over there and get em....

And yes, my blog title is now accurate lmao

crazygurl2xx 56F

3/27/2006 10:56 am

nice new blog title BTW...

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
3/27/2006 11:47 am


it all comes back around, doesnt it?
Icy hot patches work wonders...Honestly!!
But so does long HOT bubble baths...
let me know if you need someone to scrub your back....
I also have a number for a swedish masseuse specializing in whipping yer ass back in shape.


travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 12:08 pm:
Bubble baths? Me? Your assuming I would fit in the tub!

Real men dont do bubble baths.... and tell people!

Swedish? Hmmmmmmm Is she cute?

rm_spatsagain 60M/60F

3/27/2006 11:53 am

Well Tex,
Sounds like you must have met someone you wish to impress...or perhaps you are hoping to get it together quickly before you introduce yourself.....
Or did your doctor give you a limited show improvement. Or was it really just the grog that made you act this way. As for me, I have promised myself that I will lose 15 pounds by June and tone up anything that will still respond along the way. I will begin by walking my ass off. Once that is gone I will begin a series of exercises I found in the Absurcrunchin and Wince catalog. If I survive this I will reward myself by simply swimming the rest of the weight off. I only hope that I don't exchange fat for water weight gain through osmosis. By the end of the summer I should be svelte, or at least sveltish. OK fine, as long as I get rid of the man boobs and get my ass to quit resting on my thighs I will be than I am now. Then I can overeat and for the winter.......S.
(formerly spatswilldo)

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 12:13 pm:
I promised myself when I got up here I would take care of my body. That was at the first of the year. I am just now finding the inner resolve to do it. Not to mention I am 1)Male 2)Smoker) 3) History of heart disease in the family 4) High blood pressure.

Oh yea and the gut bugs me and losing some of the neck will help with the sleep apnea.

Health is the main factor. I want to be around for my kids. Smoking will come next and I feel sorry for you guys when I quit. You think I can be whiney and grumpy now? LMAO Can we say zero readership then? LOL

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
3/27/2006 1:05 pm

This guy is nuts... it brings back my college memories with chuck liddell........GO for it trav!

Its good to be...ME

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 1:38 pm:
I am... I am gonna go for it... as soon as I gather up my scateered body parts and duct tape them back on...

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
3/27/2006 1:52 pm legs makes you about dwarf size! WHEEEEEE!!!

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 8:26 pm:
Should I try and crawl away real fast?

HBowt2 58F

3/27/2006 2:40 pm

Can we have before and after photos please....

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 8:27 pm:
I gotta make sure there is an after picture first lol

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
3/27/2006 3:56 pm

I think it's great that you started working out again! Now get your middle finger on your left hand back, and you can spell weekend correctly... LOL

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 4:13 pm:
I would have put the final letter but my arm fell off!

I would have had to pick up my arm and poked the keyboard with it. I cant type the D with my right hand. Its just weird...

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
3/27/2006 7:52 pm

daph said dwarf.....LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ure suddenly hot to her !!!

Its good to be...ME

travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 8:12 pm:
No wonder my phone has been ringing off the hook LMAO

twirly_girl 47F

3/27/2006 8:17 pm

I almost peed my pants reading that.

Yeah, the teeth would be a dead give away if you had a
twin inside you.

I feel your pain, though. I went through 6 months of personal training and daaaamn it was hard. But once you reattach your arms and legs, it's a breeze.


travelingintexas replies on 3/27/2006 8:28 pm:
So everyone keeps telling me... I just gotta find my arm and legs!

womanoirish 53F

3/28/2006 11:58 pm

Little pain will do ya good.

Congrats on getting started! Now screw your arms and legs back on and go out for more. lol

travelingintexas replies on 3/29/2006 10:36 am:
Day 3 and I hate everyone right now...

Very funny... good for me my ass..... If its good for you it doesnt feel like your body has a ice pick shoved up your ass! LOL

Become a member to create a blog