Will My Day Ever Come?  

travelingintexas 41M
10/19/2005 1:21 am
Will My Day Ever Come?

Background Music:
Back in Black, AC/DC

OK… I can’t sleep. I have been attempting to go to bed at a normal time and have been doing pretty good. I have even gotten up early again. My schedule is changing back. I guess my body is sensing the need for change, even if my mind rebels. Got in bed tonight at midnight. However…

For supper tonight I had a Double Greaseburger with extra mustard. Extra Fried Fries. This is one of my favorite places. Little hole in the wall that can go up against any place you wanna put it against for fried food. Boy am I paying for it now. Feels like my throat and chest are on fire. I took medicine but ughhhhhh no bueno yet.

I need the sleep. I also need some good news. I need to hear those three little words “You Are Hired.” Prospects abound. Still waiting to hear from that one company. Scuttlebutt says they are fixing to extend a final interview. They just don’t seem to be in much of a hurry to do it.

I am sitting here, tired and exhausted. Wanting some good news finally. Almost don’t want to try tomorrow but I know that is my exhaustion speaking.

When will I have to quit paying for past sins? When will the mistakes I have made in the past stop reaching out to bite me in the ass. When will I be beyond my mistakes and heading fully into my future? Not reacting but proactive about my direction. I sit here tonight waiting for the medicine to kick in so my upper body doesn’t explode from heartburn and while I do I worry about tomorrow.

All I want and need are regularity. There are so many things I want to do and I can’t right now. It drives me insane. I am tired of the waiting game. I am tired of the uncertainty that comes from no vision for the future.

Will my day ever come?

rm_deaminveni 50M
116 posts
10/19/2005 3:52 am

Trav: I feel for you man. I was once out of work for 6 months. Went nuts looking for a job, never ending wait for job interviews, sleepless nights and days filled with dispair.

It all ends. It all ends. When you finally land that job, when you get back on the treadmill suddenly prospects start to present themselves. Now, nearly three years on, those days are just a distant memory.

All the best in your quest!

bulging_boy 49M

10/19/2005 4:06 am

Your day will come

don't worry about that.

I heard 5er talking to a few of the others in hushed whispers.

something about Travs day is gonna come.

See? All good!

bulging_boy 49M

10/19/2005 4:07 am

failing that. Your day will come... but the job will probably be in NZ.

depending on what ya do? whaddya do?

madkitten 53F
291 posts
10/19/2005 4:58 am

I hope so.

rm_pchamp012004 55M
2672 posts
10/19/2005 8:21 am

Waiting may be a mistake, you've got a few irons in the fire, but it never hurts to add a few more. Sometimes waiting for that one dream job costs you a job that you could turn into your dream job.

When I got out of the military (same age as you), I became enamoured of a job I interviewed for with Estee Lauder. A month went by and no decision. I finally started applying at other places since I kind of needed to eat. Finally took a job with a bank as a teller, though I was told I was actually going to be a loan officer. Three months later I was a loan officer, moved on to various jobs in the bank (learning everything I could about the day to day operations), finally vice president, then president. This job I took while waiting for my "dream job" became my dream job.

Good Luck, I hope everything works out for you.

PS: Try Prilosec OTC, it works just as well as the prescription heart-burn medicines at a fraction of the cost.

blushingtigger 46F

10/19/2005 8:59 am

You have friends and you have life. It's just that sometimes you get thrown a curveball. Just remember that one of these days, you will knock it out of the park and those "curveballs" won't be a problem anymore. Because, you will have learned through practice of how to hit them just right to stop them from screwing up your game.
It sucks to be unemployed, but overall it could be worse. I mean you could be dying or completely alone with no support. You could be disabled and unable to work having to live off of what little the government would give you.
You are a really smart and funny guy and though I AM a strong believer in Karma, I still think "Trav's day will come".

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/19/2005 9:16 am

Have you tried prunes? A high fiber diet should work. Seriously you are fine, everybody feels these things sometimes.

lushgirl69 49F

10/19/2005 9:18 am

Trav.... you sweet tortured soul...Of course....your day is in transit. I know it is hard, but the more we fight the flow of the universe, the worse we make it for ourselves. I have to stop, breathe and know that there is something I am supposed to be learning in the situation....I just need to learn my lessons faster.

Hey, Bulging.....Need any staging/lighting/seamstress/photographer/slave girls in NZ? I'm ready to go!!!

(Princess Lips)

10/19/2005 9:38 am

you can have your JESTER Job back, TiT,if you get down on your hands and knees..

You just need a nap Trav...xo


SunneyOne 43F

10/19/2005 10:57 am

To be regular - I'd go with either prunes or bran muffins.

The worst part is the day after no sleep. I went to sleep at midnight and woke up at 3:30 this morning. It is currently 2pm and I am delusional. Care to trade hallucinations?

rm_texassally 58F

10/19/2005 11:37 am

Trav.... the most difficult lesson life has for us is self forgiveness, we fight with our feelings of guilt, shame, disapoiontment... etc... and become so overwhelmed with it all that we forget to forgive our self. Stop trying so hard sweetie, get yourself in front of a mirror, take a deep breath and instead of a regular exhale do a nice loud, noisy, spit filled rasberry at yourself in the mirror... and keep doing it until you are laughing so hard you can't do it anymore. Then just simply forgive yourself, the past can not be changed and does not require your time or energy... let it go sweetie, relax and concentrate only on the here and now... and know that YOU are the person in power of you.

Hugs n Smooches

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/19/2005 12:03 pm

Yes, dear Bro...your day will come. You held my hand not so long ago when I needed to be reminded that throwing up wasn't going to help anything. And I'll hold your hand now and remind you of your need for patience.

Until your day comes, I agree with everyone else...a good laxative for regularity, meds for the heartburn (avoid the greasy spoon), and rest.

Yes, we all go through this at some point.

dano6332 56M

10/19/2005 5:16 pm

Trav, I so know the feeling Lost out on another job yesterday the other guys rolodex was better than mine

Another interview Friday AM

I think it is anchors aweigh and the caissons keep roling along

(Juan S)
2642 posts
10/19/2005 8:05 pm

Trav... when I was at the 6 month stage of my break up back in the year 2000. I met a guy who had been through the divorce process and finally had his life moving forward in a positive direction...He told me it took him 9 years. At that point, I had to excuse myself to cry. The hurt that i was feeling for myself and for my kids was unbearable. To think about going through that for 9 years, put the thought of placing the barrel of my 20 guage mossberg just above my adams apple, aimed into the path of my throat and up to my brain. Fortunately, when I had reached the decision to pull the trigger...my son awoke coughing and crying in the next room. I never reached for the gun again. I went through a ton of ups and downs, good things and bad things. Re-learning who I was as a person...and trust me...I despise waiting and being patient with a passion. It was all a learning experience. Now almost 6 years later...I finally am in the best mind state I have ever been in and you know what? Even though I am able to not feel the pain of hopelessness and hurt over the divorce, I am going through the "ENOUGH ALREADY" phase of things holding me back, job issues, etc., but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. On a side note... I visited my son in juvenile today and his mother gave me a ride and we went back to her apartment where i visited with my youngest son, while she went into her bedroom to change... For a date...
Back in her car, we talked about how her family had turned their back on her once again...one of the issues I helped her with when we were married and we talked about how our kids will make their own decisions for their lives, etc., etc., Then we looked at each other as we simultaneously thought of the regret of the two of us NOT working it out in order to influence our kids to the best of our abilities. There are certain intangibles with separation and divorce. Each person now has more responsibilities and Bills and their own lives to run. Most of the time it results in Not enough time spent with the kids, which results in their experimentation and issues. Their are exceptions, but most do...long into adulthood. Remain positive as best as you can. Do not allow yourself to become stagnant.
Spend as much time as you possibly can with your kids...find any kind of work you possibly can, because your wounds are fresh...There are things about to come your way and change all of your lives that you have NO idea is going to happen. So far i have beaten the nine years that the other gentleman took. Hopefully you will take my experience and beat mine... without that stranger sharing, what he shared and how he got over it... I hate to think where a lot of people could have wound up.I have come through to get to this point and if I can help any one, not go through as long or as hard of a time, I am here for them. Good luck on the job you want, but don't wait to much longer on taking the job you can get...until things change.... Or you come up with a song list and call me!!!!

lushgirl69 49F

10/20/2005 2:59 am

you rock, girl...
that is so on cue.

(Princess Lips)

10/20/2005 9:58 am

we all have our Angels...

they work in their time, not ours...



34andahalf4U 49M/44F

10/20/2005 4:15 pm

(him) Yes, we all have our angles, but we all have our demons, too. Trav, I've been there on so many of the pionts you've brought up of late...nothing really got better til I forgave myself, quit worrying if others did and made the changes necessary for MY happiness.
If the others involved did not want to accept that I was different, then it was they who were stuck in the past; it was their problem from then on. I was a pretty rotten guy at on point, something of a knuckledragger. That's not who I am today and self forgiveness was the first step. Find your bliss, brother....lol

Check this out...

reacting creating

Tese two words that have exctly the same letters carry completely different meanings.....

when we are "reacting", we are going through the same old motions that got there in the first place; when we are "creating", we are doing something totaly brand new. That's it, so easy but so complicated. love you, bro...

rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
10/21/2005 1:33 am

your day will come Trav

about the regularity thing try coffee enemas ... that's what they do in California ... see if Starbucks can hook you up

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

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