Traveling's Traveling to Heaven!  

travelingintexas 41M
1/10/2006 10:34 pm
Traveling's Traveling to Heaven!

Well… I’m dead…

I know, I know… A bigger shock I have never had. Yup… Happened this evening. Last thing I was expecting… Here’s what happened!

I was out the door on my way to a fake funeral for a fake death. Yup. I know, I know but stay with me. Everyone was saddened by the news. I even had on my very best Sunday Come to Meeting Shorty Shorts. So there I was, walking out the door of my hotel and out into the middle of the parking lot.

Next thing ya know, a big ‘ol piece of the moon fell on my car. Boy was that close. I sidestepped it but before I could move ten feet, a giant tornado dropped a train to my left. I ducked and rolled out of the way but before I could even stand up a huge semi-truck crashed into the flattened car and piece of the moon.

Well, it was one of those semi trucks filled with gasoline and the whole thing exploded. Burning heat melting everything in sight! Sure enough I was just in time rolling for cover. Boy that was close! As I felt my singed eyebrows with my unbroken hand, the whole earth opened before me and out jumped RiderMuff on his high horse. He was going on about the injustices of this world and how everything was other bloggers fault. Well, he jumped down off that high horse pretty quick when a blazing comet took his horse out along with 50 yards of parking lot.

Up he popped and we engaged in a dance of mortal combat. Swords swinging, shotguns blazing, cannons booming everywhere. It was a dance of razor against razor. He feigned left and I waited and he then pivoted and I took advantage of his exposed weak side. Cutting through the bull shit and straight to the heart of the matter.

Oh the tale could go on, kitchen sinks landing all around me, raining cats and dogs, apocalypse everywhere but still I ran him through. I stumbled back as he did, watching as he grasped his side. He suddenly fell to one knee and then another and toppled over onto his back. My work complete, I slid home my trusty sword, the name TRUTH emblazoned on its sheath, and turned around and began the short walk to the nearest car rental place so I had something to drive to the fake funeral.

Without me knowing it, he pulled a hidden poisoned dart gun from his pants leg and shot me in the neck and then fell back forever. I stood there for what seemed like eternity, fighting its dreadful effects. Suddenly, I saw only white and the sky lit up brilliantly. I never felt the broken and torn concrete that hit my face.

I was dead!

***Breaking News***
This just in, it seems another fake death has been reported. Please tune in to [post 199066] for more details!

Folks, here is the gist. 2% of all societies are ass hats, whether it is a country the size of America or a small population in this virtual world. We all know this. We all should expect it but the fact is, we hope it’s not that way. That hope gives me hope. We see and expect the good in others. We see and desire and cheer them on and are saddened when they fall. This is normal. So, some ass hats were ass hats. When are they not? The fact is, we can only survive as a society, any society, if we believe in the best from others. So here is our choice: allow ass hats to have run of the playground, poisoning the well of fun and community we have or decide, screw it, saddle up and blog?

My choice? Blog on my friends!

By the way, since I am dead and all, I talked to a High Priestess of blogging Medicine after the events unfolded and it was discovered I was dead. I was told the only way I can come back to life is to receive 1,000,000 comments.

Thank you [blog sj365] for the fantastic picture!

As for January 11th, in my book, I'm not honoring a lie...

Before anyone gripes at me, please consider this. We have a choice. We can either grow bitter or do what we do and laugh about it and move on.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
1/10/2006 11:27 pm

I will send my respects. Unless I also meet with a freakish and untimely demise...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/10/2006 11:34 pm

You're hilarious! LOL


slidein2meplz 62F
1994 posts
1/10/2006 11:42 pm

Slide isn't honoring a lie either.. BLOG ON!

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

Sorceror07 54M

1/10/2006 11:42 pm

lol! you reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from Uncommon Valor... where Blaster shows off his "linked series of disasters" boys and girls i'll demonstrate is called a series or a break... as we're coming up the trail we set off the first trip mine... BOOM!!! ...start of action. the column splits in 2, half go this way and set off the willy peter BOOM!!!... which sets their ass on fire! they jump over here they got away... BOOM! bouncing betty blows their balls off.. they dodge over here thinking they got away... BOOM!!! a one pound charge of C4... they roll they think they got away... then they do it... claymore mine... end of story

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

caressmewell 53F

1/10/2006 11:48 pm

Damn, and we still didn't get any sex before our "fake" deaths?!?

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
1/10/2006 11:54 pm

Want me to make sure Crusty goes in the coffin with you? Oh, silly me... no coffin... you're toast. Did I say toast? Hell, watch out, otherwise Bulge is going to want to spread something on you and eat you.

You bastard, leaving this mortal coil before you could treat me to that rack of ribs you were boasting about. Bloody Texans!! Can't believe a bloody word they say!! You want a million comments? Swivel, baby!!


And just for the record, I love this particular Texan to bits, and I know he loves all his friends... and I feel privileged to be one of them. Hedge, Trav... now off you go and get the breakfast menu!

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

(Princess Lips)

1/11/2006 12:01 am

blog on


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
1/11/2006 12:02 am

Told U texans are a bunch of


Its good to be...ME

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/11/2006 12:16 am

LOL at least you went out fighting and he shot you in the back so fitting.

I will blog on the 11

Efilnikufecin69 47M

1/11/2006 12:53 am

Where shall I send the flowers? LOL

bardicman 50M

1/11/2006 1:09 am

and yet another body of a top blogger lying in the dust...


I am not dead yet

StreaktheFreak 38F

1/11/2006 3:42 am

i agree but am really disappointed that someone would sink so low for attention as to do something like this... at least the story wasnt about driving off a bridge only to reappear in the blogging community 20 years later...

oh shyte...that was eddie and the cruisers 2

lol, i love that movie

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
1/11/2006 4:39 am

aww,sobs my heart out,may you rest in peace hun,i'll donate the flowers to charity why waste them on dead folk

I'm a

i'm here to stay

boydcounty 67M

1/11/2006 5:01 am

Damn!! With all these suicide bloggers [post 199066] we need to change the neme of thie place to Blogdad.


Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:21 am

I will

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:22 am

I will do

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:23 am

I will do my

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:24 am

I will do my part

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:24 am

I will do my part to

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:25 am

I will do my part to help

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:26 am

I will do my part to help you

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:27 am

I will do my part to help you come

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:27 am

I will do my part to help you come back

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:27 am

I will do my part to help you come back to

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:28 am

I will do my part to help you come back to life

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:28 am

I will do my part to help you come back to life you

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:29 am

I will do my part to help you come back to life you comment

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 5:31 am

I will do my part to help you come back to life you comment whore

saddletrampsk 54F

1/11/2006 5:47 am

Im gonna saddle up and blog my ass off today..

rm_emerald6912 49M
545 posts
1/11/2006 6:37 am

Poor class, a blogger who can actually write, wow imagine that.

Satirical, and timed to a tee. Let's hope the self indulgent one's will sit up and take notice. Here's hoping anyhows.

RIP fakes.

Thank for you this.

rm_emerald6912 49M
545 posts
1/11/2006 6:50 am

Oh sorry, that should have been 'Pure'. Well i'd better get back to my spelling test now.

silkysmoothlegs3 105F

1/11/2006 7:45 am

The ICEQUEEN has no comment


Who hooooooooooooo the wicked fecker is dead

Lets celebrate...

oh made me giggle

Thanks sexy bum

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/11/2006 8:25 am

*Sigh* Hopefully I will have it up this afternoon!

Dude, always the story of your life, now of your death as well, or so it seems.

I see dead people! Hey Trav!


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

norprin5 55M

1/11/2006 8:50 am

yayyyy! trav's dead!! woohoo!!

...what? he's not?

fuck! duped again!

King Nor XVIII

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/11/2006 8:51 am

Kiss you.
Blog on.
Ok, next.

You say you went to bed to blog???
Or was that with a blog???
Hope it was good for you, Trav..doesn't
surprise me that you have returned from
the grave in a form that we know you are real!

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/11/2006 8:55 am

size 4] You better GET IT UP this afternoon, Texas Boy!
You've been in BED ALL DAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! You think I took
off work for you NOT to get it up??? Funny One> oh yeah!! Think again and KEEP BLOGGING

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

Sulabula 45F
12659 posts
1/11/2006 8:57 am

I will send flowers lol

Sula xxx

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

fun4allin2006 53M
1583 posts
1/11/2006 9:20 am

So let me get this straight, are you really dead or really only pretending to be really dead, cause if your really only faking you are really dead then I really don't see what all the commotion is about, but if you are really faking you are really dead then well--OH SHIT I GIVE UP. RIP MY FRIEND. (Hurry up and vacate the premises there are new people moving into Blogland-and I want to sell your place) Really.

fun4allin2006 53M
1583 posts
1/11/2006 9:25 am

WHAT THE HELL, I wanted to show your place today-now get out-It sure is hard selling places with corpses lying about. The last one stunk all of Blogville up.

Sister_Act_4_You 38F/38F

1/11/2006 9:34 am

Trav, you'll just have to leave comments all over blogville to relieve your blogging tensions until you can blog freely again

Sweetest_Sin_Jes 36F

1/11/2006 9:57 am

Um, is Crusty okay? Hehe!


rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/11/2006 10:46 am

We may be amoungst the walking wounded from
time to time...but we ain't dead...

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

slidein2meplz 62F
1994 posts
1/11/2006 12:09 pm

I'm opening up a fake flower anyone wanting to buy fake flowers for fake funerals... head on over to the palace. Oh...and of course there will be fake sympathy cards as well.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

_CoffeeNoCream_ 52F

1/11/2006 12:50 pm

<---- is blogging

SweetDarlinAngel 39F
2996 posts
1/11/2006 1:19 pm


First of all don't go dyin on me now... I just got back on my own two bloggin feet and I am not stable yet! I can't have all this chaos running amok or you are going to seriously send off a very steep ledge.

Second, if your blog is for sale ... do you wanna share my place for a while <wink wink> oh sorry, did I blog that out loud? Shameful hussy! Be quiet!

Third, if million comments officially qualifies you as a comment whore. Could I be the first to volunteer as your corner?

Oh and I was wondering after the events of your demise, when you side stepped the moon, did you happen to notice if it was really made of cheese?




007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
1/11/2006 2:17 pm

Another blogger bites the asses, oops! dust. This is the way to keep the fun alive. After you return from faking your death, hop over to my blog and sign up for some work...

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

ShavenStud05 43M

1/11/2006 5:15 pm

Oh fuck, just blog damn it all to hell.

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/50F
9753 posts
1/11/2006 5:23 pm

Well Said Trav!@!!!

Bravo!! I came so close this morning to blogging and didnt. Know I wish I would have. I am glad to see you did it and your words state exactly how I am feeling!!

Purry {=}


rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
1/11/2006 6:59 pm

*sniffs* man..its gettin kinna rank around here...damn corpses stackin up all over the place.

nice headstone LOL

rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/11/2006 7:06 pm

that was too funny, thank you for that
I will help bring you back

hugs and smiles

luvsxoxo 43F

1/11/2006 10:55 pm

Thanks for the laugh Trav!


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
1/12/2006 12:12 am

HAHA OMG ...SJ is the WOMAN!!!!

A veritable photoshop goddess.

*Eulogizes Trav*

Here's Lies Trav.
He was a good... ummm.

*starts again*
Here Lies Trav.
He was a smart... ummm.

*starts again*
Here Lies Trav.
He was a large man.

With a large...



wombat_ 49M

1/12/2006 1:41 am

R . I . P .

...the trust I used to have in peoples posts!


Sorceror07 54M

1/12/2006 12:11 pm

such a shame such a shame.... there's never any loose ends when one lets a professional do his job Euthanesia Services..... the doctor is in

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...

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