Today Started Off Good but Quickly Went Downhill  

travelingintexas 41M
posts
11/1/2005 6:38 am
Today Started Off Good but Quickly Went Downhill

Evidently, on the day after Halloween, you are not allowed to drive your kids to school only wearing your shorty shorts. Yes, I know. I didn’t know this either. Let me tell you what happened. I got up and was running a tad late. Well, I wasn’t going to be getting out of the truck so I thought, well, I’ll just save time by not putting any clothes on to make this run to drop off the kids.

How did I discover you aren’t supposed to only wear shorty shorts? Well, remember that woman that broke my heart a few months ago? The one that sent me into a tailspin emotionally and physically? Well, as I sat at a light, guess who pulled up behind me. Yup. HER. So, how ironic I was singing the theme song to Seseme Street as I got out of the truck at the light, pulled out my Calloway 9 iron and in nothing but my shorty shorts walked back to her truck behind me. Boy, you should have seen the look on her face.

Sunny Day ***Teeing Up***
Sweepin' the clouds away ***FORE***
On my way to where the air is sweet ***OOOOOO She’s gonna need a new headlight***

Can you tell me how to get, ***Whack***
How to get to Sesame Street ***WHACK… Think that’s funny bitch? Think you can screw with my heart? ***

Come and play ***FORE… Other headlight gone***
Everything's A-OK ***Singing at the top of my lungs… 9 Iron to the middle of the hood of the truck***
Friendly neighbors there ***Keeping the beat with the Calloway 9 Iron***
That's where we meet ***BAM***

Can you tell me how to get ***WHACK (Shrieking in background)***
How to get to Sesame Street ***WHACK, MAN AM I EVER GETTING MY RYTHYM***

It's a magic carpet ride ***Magic Carpet RIDEEEEEEEEEEE BOITCH BAM on the windshield***
Every door will open wide ***OOOOOO A Door verse… WHACK! SMACK! THUNK!***
To happy people like you-- ***REPEAT THIS LINE AS I GRIN CRAZILY AND LINE UP FOR ANOTHER SWING***
Happy people like ***THUMP***
What a beautiful ***POLICE SIRENS IN BACKGROUND TWACK!***

Sunny Day ***OOOOO A BUSTED TAILIGHT***
Sweepin' the clouds away ***THAT’S GONNA LEAVE A MARK***
On my way to where the air is sweet ***AT TOP OF LUNGS***

Can you tell me how to get, ***WHACK! BAM!***
How to get to Sesame Street... ***WALKS IN FRONT OF BEATEN TRUCK***

How to get to Sesame Street ***SMILES EVILY AT EX LOVER TURN, BOW!***


Anyway, the police said you cant beat your ex-girlfriends car with a Calloway 9 iron in your shorty shorts. Stooooooopid rule if you ask me.

By the way, it sucks being in county lockup in your pink shorty shorts. All these guys were looking at me. This one big guy named Hilary kept winking at me but no one got very close. I think it was the story of the me and the Calloway 9 Iron.

Which brings me to another thought. If you happened to come by last night Trick or Treating. You might want to return the Ferretts and/or ‘Possums I was passing out. It seems they had something called rabies. If they are foaming at the mouth, ummmm, don’t call me, call your local animal control authorities. Sorry about that.

Did you hear thar Sly Stallone has agreed to do another Rambo movie? I wonder if we all promise to send him a dollar if he will just retire gracefully?

When I got home from County lockup, I was looking at myself in the mirror and thought, ya know, I think I can fit into my skinny pants. Ya know what? I look cool as shit in parachute pants!

Well, this day started off good, but I am disturbed at the fact you can’t wear your shorty shorts out in public. So much for it being a free country. Im gonna go lay down. My shoulders are a bit sore from my workout.


hotred6970 47M/46F

11/1/2005 7:14 am

Thank you so much for giving me giggle and a smile, I sure needed it!


Efilnikufecin69 47M

11/1/2005 7:21 am

This is a real good one trav!


bardicman 50M

11/1/2005 7:26 am

Such a terrible waste of a good calloway.
Since you were wearing shorty shorts and playing with your 9 iron I hope you stopped by the ball washer at some point.



I am not dead yet


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/1/2005 8:00 am

(Theme from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood) A large sledge hammer. A customized van with 9 windows. A nice quiet spot down by the river. Ahhhhhhhhhh.........Priceless.


konkali 40F

11/1/2005 8:36 am

ohh.. I keep thinkin pink.. at county..
thanks I really needed that one, stupid glaringly bright sunny day!


DefiniteTrouble 50F

11/1/2005 8:41 am

PLEASE tell me you didn't ruin a perfectly good Calloway 9? I won't just smack you, I'll beat the hell out of you.

lmao @ visual of you in pink shorty shorts...

I got pulled over in my jammies and was made to take a sobriety stroll...7am...busy intersection near my daughter's then high school...all her friends watching...drinking coffee. Wasn't funny. Cop's still getting pieces of my foot out of his ass.

Yes, heard about the Rocky thing. **shakes head**


AmberSolaire 42M

11/1/2005 9:20 am

Trav you forgot rule no1 of pink shorty short wearing.................

YOU NEED MATCHING PINK SHOES WITH FLUFFY BITS

to go with them.

Shakes head I dont know what are we going to do with you Trav.Oh and I kinda like my ferret Ive called him "little Trav" and he keeps my Calvin Kliens warm and moist so I wont be giving him back.




AmberSolaire 42M

11/1/2005 9:21 am

Trav you forgot rule no1 of pink shorty short wearing.................

YOU NEED MATCHING PINK SHOES WITH FLUFFY BITS

to go with them.

Shakes head I dont know what are we going to do with you Trav.Oh and I kinda like my ferret Ive called him "little Trav" and he keeps my Calvin Kliens warm and moist so I wont be giving him back.

Who needs a winter fuel allowance when you got a little trav in your pants!!!!!!!!




DefiniteTrouble 50F

11/1/2005 11:23 am

Dear friends: Please excuse the lingerie I'm wearing in the photo. sis had to let me borrow it while I'm doing laundry. Kinda like it. What boobage? Oh...have I failed to mention that surgery in the past? Anywhooo...

Hot - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble

Anthrax - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble

Sil - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble

Bardic - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble

Jez - Oh! It's you...help me.

Lianna - uh huh, lol.

DT - I love you more than anything in the world, my beautiful, intelligent, caring sister. You can't abuse me enough!

Amber - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble

Jester - Thank you for stopping by. Please visit my beautiful sister's blog from now on instead of mine. DefiniteTrouble


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
11/1/2005 11:54 am

Dude I fucking love that song too ... it's even better than Mandy

A Rambo movie where he teaches the Sesame Street characters to kill terrorists would be soo cool. Or maybe we could have a Aliens vs. Seseme Street movie with Rambo ... that would be so cool

"How you gonna live Rambo"
"Day by day"


S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo
.
~Dante~


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
11/1/2005 12:14 pm

Can you spell l-i-t-h-i-u-m ?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
11/1/2005 12:21 pm

lol...OMG thats funny...

Its good to be...ME


tillerbabe 55F

11/1/2005 1:59 pm

DT is doin' it again! This is great!
FYI: this is why I carry an axe with me at all times.....

And will someone pulleeze tell me why AMBER is so transfixed with Deja-Vu????


dranba 39F

11/1/2005 3:57 pm

PSML! As we would say in the UK "NICE ONE, BRUVVER!"

Seriously though, I hope you learnt your lesson!


EroGenOusKitty 41F

11/1/2005 5:35 pm

**waves** Hi ya Trav


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
11/1/2005 8:44 pm

Trav, are you just a little bitter?

DustStormDiva


carebearluv2 42F

11/1/2005 9:37 pm

Thanks for the laughes..they were much appreciated and must needed! Women everywhere beware, I think he may also have a "woody"...


slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
11/1/2005 9:40 pm

So Trav...what color pink are those shorty shorts? Why I bet you looked rather cute...but man...oh man...I bet the ex was shocked huh? Next time...just "imagine" yourself beatin the hell out of her car with whatever you are beating the hell out of it with.... so's you don't get in trouble again... tsk, tsk.. what are we gonna do with you...

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


blushingtigger 46F

11/2/2005 8:50 am

wow-makes you want to think twice about screwing with someone's heart, huh? But then it may be worth the vision of you in pink shorty shorts swinging a 9 iron. That's pretty damn funny.


SoljerBlu 39M

11/2/2005 5:11 pm

Can't use my nine iron.. I can actually hit that one.. Now the "Big Bertha" driver that has me using that nine iron on the second shot to get back on the right fairway... that would make a satisfying sound on a hood!
Oh, and the last time in lockup, this guy, Hilary, in pink shorties kept giving me winks... coincidence?


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