Introducing Sgt. Dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

travelingintexas 41M
10/18/2005 2:42 pm
Introducing Sgt. Dickhead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Background Music:
Caissons Away My Boys, Caissons Aweigh!

Sometimes, I wake up in a cold sweat having dreamed of these characters and sometimes, the inspiration for them comes from others. I normally run with it. [blog daphner] suggested Evil Dr. Ruth and today, thanks to Jess I want to introduce Evil Drill Sgt. Dickhead. Sgt. Dickhead is the head of my security force here at the evil lair. I asked him to share a few words with us. (Please note: I am not responsible for what Sgt. Dickhead says or the language he uses. Thank you for your understanding!)

TENNNN SHUN!!!!!!!!!!!


***Sgt. Dickhead walks up and down the columns of bloggers, inspecting them and whacking his riding crop against his leather pants.***

***Sgt. Dickhead occasionally grunts while making the inspection. Walks back down the line. Muttering to himself and grunting***

***Walks back to the center of the line and stops there and faces the raggedy ass bloggers***

It appears what I have been asked to speak to today is the biggest group of fuckups and losers this side of the cyber divide. They might as well have asked me to speak to a baby sucking on a pacifier to speak to you little kiddies. However, when duty calls, I do my duty. Unlike you little semen squirt punks.

I have been watching you. I have seen you tramping through these hallowed halls and they expect me to work with this? A bunch of lactating titties in need of a suckling? Jumping Jiminy Crickets where did they find you people? Condom Leftovers from an all night gangbang? Fine… I’ll work with ya, but don’t expect me to like it. To get ready for my little talk today, I went and looked at some of your work on this site. Why I wasted my time I’ll never know. I mean, for crying out loud, I would rather have taken a shit on a fire ant bed and let em sting my nutsack than read some of the crap you people put out. Don't even get me started on this Traveling idiot. He's the worst one without question. I'd rather read a "Why can't I get no action" blog than waste my time in his area.

You! Blogger First Class 5 Speed. What the hell are you thinking son. Shadow Farting on a Hand Puppet is more like it! Shit boy, if I wanted to read crap, I’d have gone over to titty baby Jezzys little hole and read sweet shit all day.

And you! Loser boy Sizzle. Your little picture at [post 120041] makes me want to sing the song “I’m a fairy, you’re a fairy, lets all jump off a big cliff and die a horrible death.” I also went over to Ruddergirls blog. You seen her picture? Looks like her ass hole blew up when she bent over! Another one that makes me want to jump in front of a moving truck is [blog luke69iner] loser boy. I ain’t never seen a dumber looking human being in all my live long days. Who the hell actually admits he dresses this way in public? What is this? The swimsuit portion of the Miss Fuckup competition?

Strolling right along I came across not one but two beady eyes that aint nothing but a couple couple of men pretending to be women.
daphnersaintlianna I am not sure, but if you put em together you get a complete woman.

By the way, it takes for fucking ever to get around in this place. Some summamabitch can’t read or something. It takes so damn long to get anything done around here. Just click the little accept button and let us go about our merry way damnit. This ain’t rocket science. Geez, you’d think working here took a Masters degree or something. Nothing like living somewhere where the technology is 5 years behind the times. You’d think this was some bassackwards country like Canada or New Zealand. Speaking of new Zealand. What the hell is this a picture of anyway. bulging_boy This guy is a nutcase and fits in nicely around these parts. Still can’t figure out what the hell that is a picture of though. Don’t they teach you down there that you don’t have to hold the camera upside down to take a picture. GEEEE MOOOOOOO NIIIIEEEEEEEEE

Now, I know there are a few of you heading off this week to the Great Big Orgy in the Windy City. Now there ain’t no fooling the Sgt. Everybody knows all this rigmarole about dinners and dancing is a bunch of bullshit. You people are gonna get up there, screw like a bunch of rabbits, get all kinds of venereal diseases and shit and come back and forget to tell us how bad your dick hurts when you pee because your embarrassed. Bunch of sluts.

And while I am thinking about it, what the hell is wrong with you losers that don’t have any pictures. We are all here to look at titties, not grey fake pictures that all look the same. I’ll give you an example Longhairednikkiwithgreeneyesfrecklesandamoleontherightnostril who the hell do you think you are kidding. You people are describing yourselves and then don’t show up with a picture? That’s the biggest bunch of cow shit I have heard since I visited [blog mzhunyhole] Now I have seen some pretty poon, but let me tell you, there is some ugly poon on this site. Looks like the buzzards done got to most of it before the picture was taken.

If you wanna gripe make sure you send it care of Expat whiny hole who is formulating a letter of complaint as we speak. I ain’t scared of new idiots and it’s a good thing to cuz it looks like I am surrounded by em. Now…..


Bunch of Pussy Maggots! March damnit!


BOY! Hurry up! Aint my fault your mommas dick is bigger than yours! March Boy!

Woman! Hurry your ass up! If I tell you we are heading for chow time, I bet your happy ass would move quicker. Udderly ridiculous ya cow! March Woman!

Boy! I am talking to you boy! New recruit Horny V. I know you just started this blogging shit today but look alert man! Look alert!

From the Halls of Chips Ahoy to the Blogs of Tripoli!

(Folks, this was written in jest and to poke fun at friends. Please do not get upset with me as I think you know how I truly feel about these people. Plus, I didn't write it, Sgt. Dickhead did LOL )

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
10/18/2005 7:18 pm

Trav, methinks you'd just like to be the filling in a Daphne - Saint sandwich. Yummy.


Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

rm_texasgal1978 45F
225 posts
10/18/2005 7:21 pm

LOL. I am speechless.. mmm I do love a dickhead in uniform


10/18/2005 8:09 pm

I just had to add my two cents...
I've had much fun reading your blog...infact, it's prolly the only one I've read that is actually interesting. =-D

bulging_boy 49M

10/18/2005 8:18 pm


That was great Sarge! Aside from yer picture. You are one butt ugly summbitch.

I hope Trav was gentle when he dressed ya!

rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
10/18/2005 8:38 pm

LMFAO the pic is priceless!


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
10/18/2005 9:15 pm

I am glad I stayed out of Sgt. Dickheads comments today! rofl!

He's a dickhead!


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
10/18/2005 9:15 pm



DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/18/2005 9:59 pm

Hmmm...I wonder who'll cut his throat first?

**sits watching patiently while doing nails**

Efilnikufecin69 47M

10/18/2005 10:09 pm

Too funny Bro, but I can promise you, saintlianna saintlianna is a woman, and 100% at that!

34andahalf4U 49M/44F

10/18/2005 10:45 pm

tell us what you REALLY feel ,

(Juan S)
2642 posts
10/19/2005 12:16 am

Sgt. Dickhead...could you come in here for a minute? Thanks...
<~~~~Siz walking next to the sgt, down a long dark hallway...
There are a few changes to your assignment...strictly confidential that I think we should discuss...

(As they round the corner, five bloggers grab hold of Trav...oops, Sgt. Dickhead)

... After we castrate Ya!!!! LOL!!!!

five_speed 41M

10/19/2005 1:49 am

I'm not mad. I know you're joking, dude, and you got balls that clank; I gotta give you that.

Shadow Farting? I get that part, but I have no idea what a hand puppet has to do with anything.

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/19/2005 4:43 am

**still filing nails**

1023 posts
10/19/2005 7:47 am

OOOOHHH SHIT!!! No wonder you hate the burger king, it's some royal jealousy. Fear not, Trav, you got me saying "You're the King" , just as last night's pillow biter did. Now I've got to explain to HornyV jr. That's it's okay for a dude to cry as long as they're happy tears... and also that Daddy did not just have an accident.
Don't forget about the Sarge's C.O. - Leutenant Schiesskopf.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/19/2005 9:09 am

Oh Darling Texas, do I have a photoshop moment in store for you.

tillerbabe 55F

10/19/2005 6:15 pm

TiT! LMAO!!!!

You babyarmheadASSHOLE!

I'll show you an "exploding" ass.....let me sit on 'yer' face you Texan inbred! Squeal like a piggy!....ooooooWEEEEE!


rm_luke69iner 48M
3275 posts
10/21/2005 1:26 am

TiT you bitch ... i'm laughing so hard my eyes are tearing up ... i agree with Jez and KJ that was the funniest post of yours i remember reading ... sorry it took me a couple of days to catch up ... i was wondering who Sgt Dickhead was

and for the record Barely Manenough ... i mean Barry Manilow rocks

fuck i'm still laughing ... good one ya bastard

bow tie boy

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
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