I Offer Proof...  

travelingintexas 41M
12/18/2005 1:09 pm
I Offer Proof...

OK... There has been much made about the love “thing” that Mr. Bard has unjustly accused me of. He and that vile vixen and sultry seductress Kimmer who are out to foil my plan for world domination. Using duct tape, copy and paste and photoshop, they were able to make me look like a duck and accuse me of consensual sexual activities with Mr. Bard.

***Start of official Statement to the public***

“Listen to me, (Pounding Podium) I have not had sexual relations, with that man, Mr. Bard.”

***End of official statement***

However, for those taking score, I HAVE had mad, crazy sex with Kimmer in the middle of a Denny’s in Reno, not once, but 3 times. Also, because of my vast experience with this woman’s body, I can now report she has three hooties and two nipples. However, I digress.

Far be it from me to ruin anyone’s little joke. However, it is time that this man be stopped and called what he is once and for all. I shan't suffer his accursed lies any longer.

***Slight Swoon***

That’s right, Mr. Bard is a dick head! How do I know? I offer the proof in the form of the picture for this post. The man is wearing a condom on his head. Or it is a life size Jiffy Pop bag of popcorn. Not to mention his Arkansas hillbilly fear of aliens. I have the foil hat pictures as well. But for the purposes of this particular post, I will say he is a dick head. I must give a word of thanks to my brilliant friend [blog daphner] who was able to capture Bard in his natural surroundings.

Kimmer I am ready to move up to IHOP if you are.

bardicman 50M

12/18/2005 1:58 pm

The next time someone looks up at me and say's. "Please mister, Its the holiday season... I just need......something warm........in my belly...."

I will just give em money.

I am not dead yet

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
12/18/2005 1:58 pm


I just got the jiffy pop comment. I must have been suffering fallout from all of the blondes in the room.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

kats60 56F

12/18/2005 2:13 pm

hehehehehehehe! cracked me up!...kat

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
12/18/2005 2:18 pm

hmmmm, still no comment

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

keithcancook 60M
17865 posts
12/18/2005 2:25 pm

Define "not"...

ArealUnicorn 44F

12/18/2005 2:51 pm

OMG u 2 crack me up...

TTigerAtty 62M

12/18/2005 2:53 pm

I will have to go over to get Mr. Bard's side of this story. On the surface, things look bad for him!

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
12/18/2005 3:13 pm

pppfftttt forbiden love....they always deny it

Kimmers777 106F

12/18/2005 3:26 pm

Oh Trav! Three times? We were only in that utility closet for maybe a minute and a half tops! You are efficient, if nothing else!

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/18/2005 3:43 pm

Methinks thou doth protest too much.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/18/2005 3:45 pm

BTW, he looks soooo cute in that poofy little hat, how could you not do him?

rm_JUSTsex4me 36F
185 posts
12/18/2005 3:46 pm

lmao. but if that is a condom, what the hell are all the "spots" from? but then again, maybe I shouldn't even be asking that question!

Kimmers777 106F

12/18/2005 3:59 pm

And three Hooties... That explains the intense infatuation with my left elbow!

bulging_boy 49M

12/18/2005 5:24 pm


I hope it aint coated in anti spermicide. I was beginning to like that Bard guy.

As for Kimmers being vile?

Kimmers sweetie... if you need some comforting... you come down my way. I'll look after you. That mean ol' Trav picking on you like that!

frenchie_girl 58F

12/18/2005 5:43 pm

I knew I would find strange things on this site when I signed up but.......wow. LOL

charleslamb4077 37M
90 posts
12/18/2005 6:49 pm

Frenchie- When Trav said that he was one of the normal ones, he forgot to mention that he ment in his own little world.

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/18/2005 8:23 pm

LMAO. trav Your new pic looks like a hitman reaching for his....uh....gun.

RailBaron2 54M

12/18/2005 10:03 pm

Too Funny Trav- A Merry Christmas to you

DTduzDallas 50F

12/19/2005 11:49 am

Still bet I end up as a dwarf.

XesSex03 50M/49F

12/19/2005 8:37 pm

You guys are having too much fun.
Luv it.

Mr. Xes

Kimmers777 106F

12/19/2005 10:28 pm

Hearty warriors from through out the kingdom have rallied to my side under the charge of Sir Pointy Hat. Together, they have formed the Knights of the Phallic Table, and they shall not be easily swayed by your petty offerings of warm Snickers bars and small shiney things!

I beseech you, foul texasistraveling, lay down your arms (insert your own limbless joke here) and apologize to the masses for your blatant lies and transgressions of the latex! Retract thy sordid lies and beg for mercy on thy blasphemous, twisted, lubricant soiled soul.

My court awaits thy surrender!

MaggiesWishes 60F

12/22/2005 10:39 pm

YOU guys crack me up!

<<<she was a good egg up until now>

Trav, I know that Texas side of you ... even found a little sumpin' about ya in ya travels. Ok, so is it true?
Come see me sometime. LOL!

TheLilFondler 33F  
2576 posts
12/24/2005 3:31 pm

LMAO way too funny

i lost my virginity years ago.....
but i still have the box.....

Become a member to create a blog