I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!  

travelingintexas 41M
posts
10/2/2005 3:26 pm
I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!

Background Music:
Popeye the Sailor Man Theme Song


Ever wonder what goes into the making of a good blog? Me too. In fact. I have no idea where I am going with this blog except that for some reason I got Popeye’s favorite saying “I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!” Now what does this mean? I don’t know. I just know it is what was on my mind.

Ever had a day were you wish you were inflicted like Jim Carey in the movie “Liar, Liar?” Where all you do is spout off the absolute truth about everything as you see it regardless of the consequences? That you could just out your innermost thoughts without concern for what it is you say? I’ve had one of those days LOL

I have changed up my profile. I did it to reflect my no longer looking status. What you say? Is there someone we don’t know about? Nope. I just figured I would stop looking for someone I would have to settle for. Regardless of the nature of this site, I am not going to pour myself into people unless they absolutely 110% capture my imagination. I owe myself no less. Plus, I find I am not currently interested in sex for sex alone. If I wanted to masturbate, I could do it on my own and not have to cuddle afterwards. Sound harsh? Sorry… Today is Liar, Liar day.

Why stay on a sex site? I don’t know. Other than the fantastic friends I have made of all of you. I find that while I joke with the best of them about boobage etc, my eyes wander past the pictures of boobs to the written word instead. No, I am not leaving, just making some changes for me in the outside world. Since I have never been afraid to tell my story and since today is Liar, Liar day, I will now explain why these choices are important to me.

As you know, I was married for 10 years. During those 10 years of marriage I had 45 affairs. 45 you say? Yup I had 45. All were online affairs. All were basically one night stands. In my search, if they didn’t offer what I thought was what I needed, I left. Cordially, no hard feelings, sex was sex. Why you may ask? Well as some of you know, I have searched and searched aimlessly for that “person” that completes me. In my journey the last few months, I have discovered that the key to my completion lies within me, not from another.

Much of my depression stems from the shame of the last few years. I lived a life lacking in integrity, character and promise. Rather than build up I tore down. Rather than live in compassion I scorned others. I find I have journeyed to a cross road. One that say’s I either walk a life of integrity, compassion and character in my personal life or I wither away altogether. That is why I have made this choice.

For those of you that don’t struggle the way I do and would admit to not understanding why this is a personal victory for me, let me explain. Sex has always been my way of proving my value, of proving my self worth. It is empty and shallow. Somewhere along the way, I replaced true intimacy with sexual intimacy. It is why I spent so much time searching. The only time I felt worthy was when I felt wanted during sex, proving myself worthy during sex. I can trace this back to my teenage years.

So now, I walk away from that. I recognize that blatant and meaningless sex, for me, note… for me, is not worth the time. It does not increase my self worth but demeans and tears me down and apart from the place I personally want to be. Am I walking away from sex altogether? Nope. But I won’t hand it out as I have. I can’t and keep my sanity.

You will notice that in my blog, there is a very real attempt to not go too sexual in content. This is done on purpose. It is done to keep the laughs here light and worthwhile. I have striven to create a place that you come to because you want to be welcomed and to feel a part of something. It is why I try and play with everyone that comes in my trailer blog door. Others don’t understand it and that is ok. I don’t understand them. However, to each his own in this world and my purpose here is to maybe gain a little self respect for myself back by making you smile, making you think, keeping you guessing and keeping you coming back for more.

I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!

Anything you just can’t stands no more? I am feeling talkative today. Anyone have any questions about this they want to ask? Just wondering. I’ll take my best shot at answering your thoughts on this. Good, bad or ugly. Remember…. It is Liar, Liar day. Say what you will.

FIRST COMMENT INCLUDES FUN POPEYE FACTS I FOUND LOL


DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/2/2005 10:10 pm

Meaningless sex is just that...MEANINGLESS.

EMPTY.

A WASTE OF TIME.

I know many people will have different views, but these are mine.
I refuse to settle. Like T, I'd rather masturbate.

(smacks T) NO! You can't watch.

You'll find that special someone dear bro...and yes, it can happen online. Just quit looking so hard and it'll smack you in the face.

Luv ya - DTOX


frbnkslady 48F
6183 posts
10/2/2005 10:48 pm

I refuse to settle for less either. I come to the site to blog and to chatt. I have yet to change my profile, but will now after reading yours. Mine is an old one. I hope what you are looking for finds you my Dear.. T

T




Goldenhairgodess 63F
396 posts
10/2/2005 11:23 pm

Well, since you have an established yourself as a talented blogger you should get away with being different. I learned some time ago not to use the words "Long Term Relationship" as being what I wanted to avoid the back lash remarks and being told that I do not belong here. I changed my profile to better fit in here. But I truely expect that there are plenty of guys who feel as you do, but are reluctant to admit it. Thank you for your courage and honesty. And good luck!
BTW Popeye was my hero! I ate spinach only because of him. And my Mom got me to eat Sauerkraut by telling me it was white Spinach.


ThumbChickStool 33F

10/3/2005 12:28 am

"Do what feels right. Everything will come after."
"To thine own self be true."

That is my advice to you. Enjoy.


madkitten 53F
291 posts
10/3/2005 1:41 am

I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!

Think I will make that my motto of the day, or maybe week, might be month, hell no YEAR.


keithcancook 60M
17859 posts
10/3/2005 4:31 am

I forgot about my profile long ago. I stopped "looking" after only 2weeks as a member here. I have been blogging only ever since.

I probably ought to change the profile, but since nobody goes there anyway da heck with it.


DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/3/2005 5:36 am

(I hate it when I have to be nice to him...just NO fun.)


beewulf9 38M

10/3/2005 8:06 am

T, what you are doing is admirable. I hope you know that sometimes the self is a mystery that you will not figure out. You have my best wishes.


BLONDENEEDSSEX 57F

10/3/2005 8:22 am

This truly has to be your best post that I have read, and I think you just may have found that extra grip on the rope. I have recently been able to be a peace myself.Because this is a sex site does not mean we have to always write , think ,or be looking for sex.Our friends have proved that in there exceptance of us being here just to write and enjoy their company.

Take Care
Blonde


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
10/3/2005 9:06 am

Very well said.
One of the hardest things in life is to be honest with oneself.
All growth, all honesty and all genuine living come from it.
Maybe that is why it is so difficult.
It is so much easier to keep oneself distracted with other things. But you miss the chance to find out who you really are and your true potential as a human being.
I'm glad I found your blog. Thank you for sharing.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/3/2005 12:55 pm

I hope u dont give up your day job as a heterobisapian stripper! Nooooo

Its good to be...ME


34andahalf4U 49M/44F

10/3/2005 1:56 pm

(him)Trav, I get so excited for people that have come to the place that you have. It took me screwing up 3 marriages to realize that I was suffering from crainial rectitus. You've reached a new horizon, one that will allow you to recreate who you are. Safe journeys; I'll see you at the end.

ps...Buzz says 'hi'.


dano6332 56M

10/3/2005 4:05 pm

Trav your my friend and I am proud of you. I made no bones in my profile that I do not do one night stands. I need a connection or spark for sex to make me feel right. Without it I would rather just go home alone. You have used sex as a drug and I am incredibly proud of you for seeing it and trying to fix it. This is the time when you will see more beauty in your life and I bet meet someone who will finally strike your fancy. Now that the stress of your next "fix" is gone you can be you and not have to play a game.

I am not trying to judge anyone else here who lives for sex. That is your business and if your happy than I am happy for you. I am simply voicing my personal opinion and really think sex is meant to mean more than just friction.

I am around if you want to chat but am also wrapped up in "her". If you want to chat call me.
xo
Dan


JoLeeS 40F

10/3/2005 6:05 pm

I really enjoyed reading your blog. When I have more time I intend on reading more(just have to finish up supper for the kiddo). I feel the same way for the most part. I am not sure why I am here. I say "just looking" I really don't have a clue. I have been seperated for a LONG time now.... I am just coming to know true self again(I locked myself up in a deep dark hole in my heart a long time ago)..... It is getting better. Each day I decide to do something I used to do. I have even decided to go back to college... No point in wasting any mroe time. Anyway, i feel better now.... Take care,
Jo


carebearluv2 42F

10/3/2005 7:34 pm

Trav, I read your blog every day but this is the first time I have commented in it. I don't know what is so different about this post that prompted it, maybe it is how I feel as well. I am not a meaningless sex type of person and the site doesn't always fir me well. That is why I like your blog so much, because you don't talk about sex constantly. You seem to have a way of making me understand and feel like I am your friend. I admire your writing talents and I am glad to see you are still going to be in Blogland for awhile. Don't try so hard to find it, you will find it when you are least looking for it. Until then, you have us, your Blog readers!


lushgirl69 49F

10/3/2005 8:20 pm

I have to say that my motto for the year has been:
"Simplify or Perish".
What I can't stands no more is the presumption of others.
There are too many people who assume too much and ruin may faith in them.....
You are such a good soul...don't beat yourself up too much about the past.....the Budhist philosophy follows the idea that one learns lessons from the mistakes and then drops them and moves on....you don't have to carry it the rest of life.....get storage for your baggage and sort through a little at a time.....


Sweetest_Sin_Jes 36F

10/3/2005 8:52 pm

I really like what lushgirl69 said...very well put!

Hindsight is 20/20 and we all (hopefully) learn from our mistakes. You are SUCH a good person. I have often thought of leaving this site, but I stay for people like you! You are an inspiration to me and many others. Hang in there cowboy! Dust yerself off and get back on that horse with the intentions of not falling off again! And if you do, oh well, do the same thing over again! NO ONE is perfect!

By the way...I will gladly pay you Tuesday for one of those blue oval things (you so casually hand out to everyone but me) today!

You cute lil' swee'pea you! Kiss kiss, hug hug!

Jess


digdug41 49M

10/3/2005 9:59 pm

hey trav just do what your gut tells ya and feel better I dig your blog to it's where all the girls come to so I dont have to go flipping through that member list I just come here and click to the next one to see what they're all about and you know what even though this is a sex site this is the best blog site I absolutely love it here and I'm not looking for anything but friends you stay gold bro

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/4/2005 12:32 am

You are about lightyears ahead of most men your age. What a great way to start your upcoming decade.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


neotrio 41M/38F
1213 posts
10/4/2005 5:58 am

so nicely put. sorry you went through all of that but it only made you stronger and wiser...a wealth of insight. glad i stopped by, won't be the last time.

thank you.

-neo


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