Hmmmmmmm... A Penny for your thoughts?  

travelingintexas 41M
9/10/2005 3:30 am
Hmmmmmmm... A Penny for your thoughts?

Background Music:
If God Will Send His Angels, U2

Something happened tonight within me. I currently know not what. I came home at about 5:30PM from an incredibly long day. I could not sleep last night and I had been awake for close to 48 hours. Starting at 4:40PM or so I had a massive headache begin. It was one of those that saps your strength and leaves you crying for death. Light hurt. Those of you with migraines will understand. I very seldom get them and I am sure the lack of sleep did not help.

I fell asleep and woke up tonight at 2 AM ready for the day. UHHHHHHHHH Now my schedule is messed up. However, it was odd. When I awoke it seemed as if something had clicked. As if my world had been just a little off kilter, everything seen through a lens that was dirty or fuzzy. But now, somethign had fallen in place in my heart somethign made sense. I got to Starbucks and read several blogs and my heart began to cry out for many of you.

I am so full of crap in so many ways both on here and in reality. I make stuff up to make you laugh. It is the way the real Traveling is at home. I don’t know where crap like Heterosapien comes from. One second I am working on something important, the next my mind comes up with Heterosapien. (LOL Spell check hates the word Heterosapien by the way) Some of you with whacked out sense of humors like mine (you know who you are) can probably identify with me on this. It is just there.

I love to see my friends eyes light up. To see them happy. To see them come to a new realization or laugh until their sides hurt. That is what gives me pleasure. That is what brings me total and complete joy. It is the same on here. To see you hit the ROFLMAO keys makes me smile. Good I think... I hope I brought you joy. That is where I feel comforted and at peace. Amongst friends and family that offer life to one another. Today has been a somber day filled with much peace, if that makes any sense.

5er’s stuff that he has going on, Jezzy’s remembrance of her father, the very earth seeming to cry out in need and so many of you that are hurting in big and small ways. I do not know your reasons for being here in blogland but know for many of us; it is not in the title of this site. I would gather you all up if I could, and have a grand party for you all and the main attraction for me would be sitting down with each of you and getting to know you on a one on one basis. Yes, we joke. Yes, we flirt. Yes we make disgusting, messing with my hinney comments but it is as friends do.

I am rambling a bit. That is ok. I just awoke with such a peace in my heart. I knew for the first time tonight that regardless of exterior circumstances in my life that everything would be ok. 5er, it’s going to be ok buddy. You will live your dream. Someone will someday look at you and think, boy thats crap. I am jealous. DT, the pain you currently walk in, someday more than others, whether known to anyone or not will ease over time. The friendship you extend and quiet understanding pierces me daily. Jezzy… Silent thank you! Bella, the waves crash hard upon the sea during the midst of a storm. However, a beautiful ship was never intended for the harbor. Dano, your encouragements resound in my heart every time you have time to come by. Thank you for offering friendship and understanding to a stranger. Cookie… The Sooners suck. Barbie, how incredible to share just a glimpse of your new freedom from a pain in your past. TDA, balls do not regenerate. MzHuny, you offer such insightful wisdom to many. And a laugh a day… SJ, you are an example of such strength and fortitude. Lusty, your dream will come. Never ever discount your worth. Blondeeeeee over a 1000 miles and the rope stands strong. There is a light and ability to walk in that light of day! Smile, you are living proof of perseverance and faithfulness. TxRose, your example of take charge and make it happen challenges.

The only problem when listing stuff like that is that you miss people. I know I have missed people. I could go on and on and on. However, the purpose of this is to illustrate my point. You each touch me in many ways. Today I am strong. Tomorrow I may be weak and you will walk as my strength. But there can be joy in our walking. There can be a hope in our situations. Stand back from yourself for a moment and see yourself as others see you. Your loved ones. Judge yourself as they judge you, not as you see yourself. You are your harshest critic. Freedom lies in shedding the personal chains that tie you down. Trust me. I have to surround myself with people that tell me this every time they talk to me.

I am not sure there was a point to all this. Maybe I am attempting to identify something in my heart right now that won’t let go. Something that is urging me onward, forward to something new. As always, when I discover it, you will know as well.

Traveling with the sun on my face!

ThumbChickStool 33F

9/10/2005 10:38 am

Enjoy the new awakening, and see where this new path will take you. "To live woule be a very big adventure." Adventure on, my trailblazer.

Many kisses

rm_sj365 55F
2414 posts
9/10/2005 10:43 am

Trav - as much as i usually enjoy a good game of 'poke the bear', with you as the bear of course... today I just wanna hug you. So, hug yourself warmly for me...K? and do NOT cop a quick feel off yerself when you do it either mister!

DefiniteTrouble 50F

9/10/2005 10:46 am

awwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...(gets tissue)

Yes, my pain will pass. Support like yours helps tremendously. The laughter alone is a great healing tool. Thanks you. (smooch)

Ok...I'll grovel...just this once, and once only. Oh pleeeeeeeeeeease T, don't be a heterosapien anymore. I'm sorry. I'll be good. Just ask 5 how good I can be (smacks 5' ass)

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
9/10/2005 11:13 am

From within a multitude of incredible posts, this is one of the best, most touching and powerful that I have read. Thank you for expressing this.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

xx_44DD_xx 51F

9/10/2005 12:14 pm

Some people live a lifetime, never experiencing the profound peace that has overcome you.

Enjoy and embrace it.

(I use to suffer from horrific migraines til I had a 6 hr deviated septum surgery)

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
9/10/2005 12:40 pm

What a wonderful, truly heartfelt post. It brought tears to my eyes.


Barbiebunny69 43F

9/10/2005 1:01 pm

Trav..U2 got to you!
That always happens with em!
But no finer background music for your thoughts
thank u for on your knees!
``` Cruella de Bunnzy

frbnkslady 48F
6183 posts
9/10/2005 2:01 pm

I am happy for you Nice to read a sense of relief in your post today.. T


rm_Network_Minx 47F
542 posts
9/10/2005 3:26 pm



9/10/2005 4:05 pm

OKKKKKKKKKKKK Now you have me in tears, but I am sooooooo HAPPY that your light is starting to show for you as well.The other day I notice a calm coming over me , and I truly believe part of it was knowing that the rope was not just for me ,, BLESS YOU DARLIN.

Theflinkychick 105F

9/11/2005 8:12 am

Awesome, it makes me happy to find such beautiful peace surrounding you. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us.

Not all who wander are lost.

dano6332 56M

9/11/2005 2:24 pm

Trav, We have not talked long but your my partner in life as is everyone I meet. Your also a fellow soul who has been man enough to bare your soul to all of us. How could I respond to you any differently? That is the beauty of this life. I believe what you give (be it good or bad) comes back to you and you give a lot of good through your writings.

yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
9/11/2005 8:12 pm

I am so grateful to you for posting in my blog, prompting me to check yours out! You are a treasure!!!! I look forward to learning so much from you!

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it

Synn74 42F
1206 posts
9/13/2005 7:30 pm

I loves you too Travs..eventhough I feel so outta touch..

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

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