Crossroads....  

travelingintexas 41M
posts
1/7/2006 11:44 am
Crossroads....

As I draw near my 400th post (can ya beleive it?) I find myself drawn to my purpose here. My purpose, or maybe more accurately, my reasoning over the last 6 months.

While I know what I will be writing about, I do have a few questions for you...

Do you ever feel like you are both going towards something and running away from something at the same time? Is this normal when divorce is involved? Is it normal to want to look back and fix while looking to the horizon for the new day?

Just some thoughts I am pondering today...


rm_deaminveni 50M
116 posts
1/7/2006 12:12 pm

Yes to both propositions. Having been through the divorce thing I know it's a bitch. Is this the end of a chapter in a life, or the begining?

To tell you the truth, it's both.

I guess circumstances dictate the outcome. In my case it was amicably resolved and both my ex and I are happier for it. Our son has suffered no apparent ill effects and we are always careful not to create any negative situation around him.

That said I know people for whom this has not been the case. So I guess I was lucky.

So far as feeling torn between the past and the future; it may seem trite but the only place you can be is the present. The past is done, for better or worse. You cannot change the past no matter what you do. The future is yet to be written. Only the present can effect the future so live NOW.


kyplowboy22 61M

1/7/2006 12:27 pm

To look back at the familiar, even though it was as screwed up as a soup sandwich, and kinda long for it because you know it, is natural. It is also natural to look at the future with excitement as well as a bit of fear, because it is unknown. It is better to move forward into the unknown future chances for happiness than it is to go back to the certainty of misery. The past is just that, the past. It is locked in time and space forever now. The only thing that lives and breathes, is the present. Give it your best. The future is an illution of hopes and dreams. Let them guide you in the present behavior with an end in mind. Everything begins and ends with a thought. Later

kpb


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/7/2006 12:35 pm

Yes. It's confusing, but soon, you'll figure it out.

DustStormDiva


micahbiguns 50M

1/7/2006 12:45 pm

Hell yes that is normal I have been divorced for about 16 months 3 days 8rs and 47 min lol but who is coun ting lol lol this is one of the most emotional things you can go through. I have noticed that when things seem there worse that something good is coming up as hard as it is you have to look forward and look with hope for the new in life.


slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
1/7/2006 1:35 pm

Yes, because it's human nature...simple as that. Easier said than done for some of us, myself included.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~


rm_Bct2Esi 51M/50F
1375 posts
1/7/2006 2:02 pm

yep it is dear, once you get it all figured out, you will look back and be thankful you had to go through what you did to get to where you are at today

hugs and smiles


rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/7/2006 2:19 pm

Do you ever feel like you are both going towards something and running away from something at the same time?
I have felt that way many times in my life and have learned, through living, that I am not my feelings. I have also
learned that it is easier to move forward when I have given time and consideration to what it is that I really do want. I have also learned that when I fully embrace someone or something as having been in my life for a divine reason, I no longer need to run from them or anything. The one thing I can depend on happening in my life is change and I've learned that when I open my arms to feeling it full out, I suffer a hell of a lot less in the process.


Is this normal when divorce is involved?
I have been divorced twice and am grateful for both of these men having been in my life. Interestingly enough, I am still friends with both and business partners with the one of them. Relationships change and people either grow together or they grow apart. Sometimes you just have to love someone enough to let them go and that involves them living their life without you as an active and intimate partner on the path. It can be challenging when children are concerned and yet..you can love through it, forgive what needs forgiving and let go. You free yourself when you do this.
What is *normal* anyway ...sounds like a senseless label to me. If you are feeling something, you are feeling it. Gotta feel it to heal it. Rock on.


Is it normal to want to look back and fix while looking to the horizon for the new day?
Men from the planet that you come from want to fix
everything, sweet baby boy from Texas! What if nothing is broken?
What if there is nothing to fix? What if there is only love and gratitude for all lessons learned and hope for tomorrow? What if it is simply time to let go and move into a new season in your life, learn from the past and love more fully today and yet more again in the future? What if you gave yourself a kiss for me and told you how special you really are? {=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


MyRealLoverOne 46M

1/7/2006 2:23 pm

I have not faced this in a marriage situation, but in one long term relationship. I found I was looking back because I was lonely and afraid I might not find someone else. I guess it really depends on whats in your heart bro. I know it sucks either way from where you are standing. Best wishes!


silkysmoothlegs3 105F

1/7/2006 3:09 pm

I feel like that alot
what your going through now is not easy
keep your chin up babes and smile
silky x


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/7/2006 6:29 pm

It's normal been there twice only I didn't think about fixing anything but years later I always thought of what if.


rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/7/2006 8:30 pm

Listen Brat, I don't care what's happened. I don't care what anyone has said. You can't take everything said to heart. 400 will NOT be your last post. Too many people here care about you. Too many people count on you. You can't walk away from that.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


rm_jynxgurl 29F
209 posts
1/7/2006 11:23 pm

Whats up with the sad blogs getting me down today? I have never ever even been married (duh, only 1 so I can't say anything about this except my parents got divorced when I was 5 and I still havnt totally recovered from it... but my mom has, she got remarried and is very happy! so dont worry, you will get through this and be very happy with the love of your life later on in life. I can garuntee it!!I will prove it!!

ahem, think of every person you meet, talk to or even take a glimpse at, then they do the same to others, and so on and so on, at the 7th contact at most it will come back to you. Think of it as a web that floats around the whole world. everyone is connected by 6th contact so if you are open to love and outgoing then it is impossible not to find someone right for you, never give up and stay open and true!!!


rm_jynxgurl 29F
209 posts
1/7/2006 11:24 pm

stupid smily... I am 18!! lets see if that worked..


DTduzDallas 50F

1/8/2006 4:53 am

    Quoting rm_DaphneR:
    Listen Brat, I don't care what's happened. I don't care what anyone has said. You can't take everything said to heart. 400 will NOT be your last post. Too many people here care about you. Too many people count on you. You can't walk away from that.
We'd just follow you anyway.


duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/8/2006 12:03 pm

What are you holding me to? Or was that tieing me to? Or was that holding me down? Or what that... *grin*

DustStormDiva


Jugz6969 38F

1/8/2006 7:14 pm

I feel like that a lot. Trying to decide if I want to wait for my husband to figure out what his dick is again or if I just want to go get some. SO torn.


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
51F

1/8/2006 11:45 pm

sometimes we tread water
sometimes we swim
sometimes we sink if we don't move around...

TTFN


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
1/9/2006 12:19 am

Strange...I just had a conversation with the ex via text message, roughly on this exact subject.


rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
1/9/2006 1:00 am

{=}

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


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