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travelingintexas 41M

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tillerbabe 55F

10/13/2005 12:40 am

Soooooooo. Bunz watched you give 5 speed a BJ? I'm confused....

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
10/13/2005 12:45 am

Yeah were badasses.....

Trav: OH MY GOD damn cat

Cruella Jessica Rabid: chit the poor bird is alive and suffering!

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I’ve never killed an animal

Cruella Jessica Rabid: SHIT

Cruella Jessica Rabid: come kill it

Cruella Jessica Rabid: shit

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I hate this

Cruella Jessica Rabid: that damn fukkin cat

Trav: pop its head off!
ould it be right?)

Cruella Jessica Rabid: huh

Cruella Jessica Rabid: i
Trav: You gotta use your thumb (I have heard dove hunters talk about popping the heads off of doves during hunting season. How hard c gotta touch it?

Trav: its what they do to Doves in hunting season but I don’t know how specifically....I don’t hunt

Trav: I don’t know is 5er on? (Here I have a brilliant thought. Surely the Ranger knows something about survival techniques right?)

Cruella Jessica Rabid: lemme look

Trav: no he's not

Trav: do it like a chicken and wring its neck?

Trav: get a shovel?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I thought of the shovel

Trav: I cant believe you and I are having this conversation

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I’m DYIN here

Cruella Jessica Rabid: come over and kill it

Cruella Jessica Rabid: please

Cruella Jessica Rabid: only us

Trav: ummmmmm I would, but there’s the whole 2000 mile thing.

Cruella Jessica Rabid: Sweet jezuz

Trav: let the cat have it back

Cruella Jessica Rabid: bloody cat is gonna chase it down it better know how to killit..

Trav: it’ll finish it off quickly......its what they do

Cruella Jessica Rabid: its been trying to kill it for 15 minutes the lame ass!

Trav: id say shovel......I wouldn’t want you feeling having to kill it

Cruella Jessica Rabid: SHIAT

Trav: or just ignore it and let nature do its thing

Trav: ??????????????????

The entire time, I am doing a search online on how to pop a doves head off when hunting. All I can find are wild game recipes, so I start copying and pasting in the instructions from these web sites. During this time, I have also messaged 5er to ask him and Cruella is fretting, trying to figure out what to do. She also begins talking to 5er as I send these recipes.

Trav: How to Clean Dove:

Shoot your birds at a distance that will not tear up the meat but obtain a clean kill. Clean and dress your birds as soon as possible after the kill. Some people like to take the easy way out by skinning instead of plucking, the bird will be much more juicy and flavorful if you leave the skin on. If you are going to store in the freezer for any length of time it is best to freeze in a plastic container filled with water with a tightly sealed lid.

Trav: How to Clean Crow:

Shoot your birds at a distance that will not tear up the meat but obtain a clean kill. Clean and dress your birds as soon as possible after the kill. Clean, and cut out the breast, discard the rest of the bird. Soak breasts overnight in a non metallic container with a mixture of 1 gallon water, 1/4 cup salt, and 1 teaspoon garlic juice. If you are going to store in the freezer for any length of time it is best to freeze in a plastic container filled with water with a tightly sealed lid.

Trav: Step One: Catch the Chicken

This part can be rather tricky. If you've never caught a chicken before, my experience is that the easiest way is to catch them off guard in the coop. Just grip the chicken by the legs and lift it off the ground holding the chicken upside down by the legs. The chicken may flap around a bit, but if you're careful, and have a good grip on the legs the chicken won't get away. The important thing to remember is not to let the chicken go, because it’s going to be really hard to catch it again now that its on its guard.

Trav: any of this help?

Trav: I’m searching as fast as I can here

Cruella Jessica Rabid: yeah if I wanna eat it!

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO KILL IT

Cruella Jessica Rabid: I’m dying here

Trav: cut its head off with a shovel.......quick and easy and it isn’t in your hands. You won’t feel it.

Cruella Jessica Rabid: *heaves*

Trav: its dead, you puke, we are all happy

Cruella Jessica Rabid: what if the shovels blunt?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: now I’m going to hell for killing...

Trav: well I was trying to figure out if you should do it on concrete or dirt

Trav: lol no your not lol

Cruella Jessica Rabid: well I don’t wanna clean it up

Trav: just let the cat have it I’m telling ya.....let nature do its thing......

Cruella Jessica Rabid: ya but suffering bad… only leads to hate.. hate..

Trav: put in on some dirt........sever its head with the shovel your done

Cruella Jessica Rabid: ok

This is how Cruellas and 5er Conversation went... Keep in mind I am looking and sending her recipe’s while she has this conversation with 5er.

5er: so you have a crippled bird?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: yes

Cruella Jessica Rabid: phucktard neighbor cat

Cruella Jessica Rabid: not even mine

5er: good grief, the things people ask me. I suppose it could be worse though

Cruella Jessica Rabid: Hey you’re the ranger

5er: yeah

Cruella Jessica Rabid: and your not near or id have u do it

5er: i'd take care of it for you. You could probably convince me to take care of the cat too.

Trav: Step two: Kill the Chicken

There are two methods that I've seen to kill a chicken. One is to simply lay the chicken on a chopping block and cut off its head. This can be rather bloody, but it’s a sure way to be positive that the chicken is dead.

The second method (and the one I'm going to discuss here) is to wring the chicken's neck. If this is done correctly it's a lot less messy.

So, take your chicken by the legs (you are still holding it right?). In your other hand pull down on the neck and then bend it upward very quickly. If you've done it correctly, then you will feel a snap, and the chicken will reflexively begin to flap its wings. At this point my great grandmother would drop the chicken and let it run around the yard until it's body finished dying.(hence the term run around like a chick with its head cut off.

5er: I suppose you don't have an obvious solution on hand, like a gun?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: a gun for a little bird? LMAO

Cruella Jessica Rabid: No just a BB gun

5er: is the bird immobile, or can it hop around still?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: its really peepin/screemin and sorda floppin

5er: I don't suppose you have a gas oven do you? (trying for humane solution)

Cruella Jessica Rabid: electric

5er: doh

5er: well, if it was me

Cruella Jessica Rabid: (like 5 min goes by of him typin)

Cruella Jessica Rabid: baby i dont need the A-team version..lmao

Cruella Jessica Rabid: hurry!

Cruella Jessica Rabid: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

5er: I'd get an old sheet - a pillow case would be better. get it in the pillow case, twist the end shut, and slam it into the sidewalk or hit it with something heavy

Cruella Jessica Rabid: shovel?

5er: yeah

5er: be prepared to hit it a couple times

Cruella Jessica Rabid: ok I’ll go try that... im going to hell now for killing, shiatttttt

5er: just don't look in the bag when you're done

Cruella Jessica Rabid: Ok thanks baby ill ttyl I owe ya 1

5er: let me know how it goes

After it is over...............................

Trav: We are a sick bunch

Trav: I still say shovel

Trav: wouldn’t "feel" as much. SO how did you do it?

Cruella Jessica Rabid: well I did the pillow case shovel combo.. its always a 3 some with me


Cruella Jessica Rabid: Big army Ranger talking to badass dominatrix bitch talking to kick ass Texan ....................ROFLMAO... We are SOOOOOOOO tough...

The things we do when no one is around…. Ugh………

Its good to be...ME

anchcpl4fun 40M/44F

10/13/2005 3:14 am

ummmmm ok you gonna share? got my curiosity all in a tither....and believe me these last few days i need a good laugh....

DefiniteTrouble 50F

10/13/2005 7:30 am


five_speed 41M

10/13/2005 11:31 am

heh. that was weird for me. No one ever seriously asked me for advice on how to kill some thing before. It was a strange feeling.

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