*Sigh* I Am Not Funny...  

travelingintexas 41M
1/20/2006 7:02 pm
*Sigh* I Am Not Funny...

Or so I am being told. Not just by one or two but by numerous women on this site now. Wanna know why? Because I changed my profile up. Yup!

See, I am not looking. Haven't been. So, I thought it would be funny to change my profile up to be a satire, caricature, perhaps a funny read on a sex site. Here are a sampling of some of the responses I am getting...

"Read your profile and I am definitely not impressed! You either have a sick sense of humour or you are the most narcissistic SOB I have ever encountered! Even if I wasn't old enough to be your mother, and even if you had a 10" cock, I wouldn't fuck you (maybe I would if I was a masochist). You turn me on even less than my deballed pet cat! I'm glad all Americans are not like you!
Signed, Loathsome, Bottom Feeding Twat- a horny but disgusted Canadian"

"i wouldn't come knocking at your door if you paid me a million dollars, since when do we have to take a fricken test just to get a cuse my french jerk of an assholes approval, you sir need help! I'm surprised women actually put up with you or even want to know you!
Signed, whiney and wet"

"with that profile i truly have no idea how u would have any women interested you! sounds like you r one of the most conceited, biggest assholes around, its men like you that need a hammer to strike your head that makes an indent so that when people listen to you talk so stupidly they'll understand why u do, they'll see you've lost your brain!
Signed, a disgruntled Canadian"

This being said, I think I proved the points I made on this post, THE INSANITY OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!. I never received these kind of emails, the kind many women say they receive, until I changed my profile to become a satire of the profiles on this site.


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm Makes ya wonder.

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
1/20/2006 7:40 pm

Hmmm.. and 2/3 of them are Canuckistanis... guess the cold killed their sense of humor. That or their sarcasm receptors were never installed int the first place.

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
1/20/2006 8:12 pm

OK... I read the profile. You might want to correct the spelling on Rhodes Scholar. You left off the s on Rhodes. Otherwise, I thought it was brilliant. But now what do I do with this pic of my erect clit?

fantasia_shares 47M/43F
4164 posts
1/20/2006 8:19 pm

Oh, Puleeze...just blame Bard! He put them all up to it!

You might want to know who to watch out for around here: Are YOU a Dirty Bad Man or Woman? !

Please tell me the secrets of your sex appeal Primping!

And a MUST READ: [post 2294897]

Just shamelessly pimping my own damned blog!

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
1/20/2006 8:21 pm

Most canadians have trouble spelling and it's obvious they don't understand sarcasm.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
1/20/2006 8:34 pm

Damn I didnt know women on this site were as bad as some of the men about profiles. I get nasty emails all the time about my profile.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
1/20/2006 8:35 pm

Tell them to kiss ur hairy nutsack

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

rm_hardwiremike 54M

1/20/2006 8:37 pm

Are you kidding? Canadian women are super sexy and very open minded... Here's my hamster... LOL!
"... I'll hamster in the evening... all over my brain..."

AGNJoe1 46M

1/20/2006 8:43 pm

Oh...my...god. Trav, that has to be one of THE most f'n brilliant guy profiles I've EVER read. And for the ladies that can't take a freaking joke, e-mail 'em back and tell 'em to get a f'n sense of humor.

That is *exactly* what I see in 95 percent of searches for woman's profiles. Trav, thank you my friend, I got a HUGE hearty laugh out of this one.


rm_embwizard 51F
14 posts
1/20/2006 8:49 pm

I read your profile and actually found it to be quite humorous.

slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
1/20/2006 10:03 pm

that's so friggin funny.
As a matter of fact Trav...your profile inspired me to change my profile. My profile is so full of bull even a cow wouldn't wanna wade thru it. However, thrown in amongst the crap are enough actual true facts regarding my preferences. So, far it seems to be weeding out the emails from the ones I don't want.

oops...I said crap.

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

gnr8nrg 45M

1/20/2006 10:10 pm

Funny stuff Trav.

oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
1/20/2006 10:14 pm

You are right some don't read the whole thing.

Know the women know that its not just the men that don't read all of there profile before they send an email.

Great post I read your profile and thaught it was funny as hell.

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
1/20/2006 11:23 pm

Do you see what I mean about spellcheck? People think I'm OCD, but I just hate spelling errors.

Bad spelling = never funny....... in any country.

Maybe Mexico.


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
1/21/2006 12:15 am

I had read your profile a few days ago. You sound just like my kind of man, trav.

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
1/21/2006 12:19 am

( "...old enough to be your mother..." Wahine frantically checks memory banks..."..a horny but disgusted Canadian" Whew...not me, didn't write it)

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

barbiebunny 36F
5597 posts
1/21/2006 12:50 am

So Tony, care to comment on your meeting with 1reallover?? Huh? and U neglect your carmella..I mean cruella!!! *stomps high heel* jersey big hair and snaps gum.....Hummph!

Its good to be...ME

onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
1/21/2006 12:50 am

This is satire? I figured you just copied, pasted, and switched the genders...

L00kin4Passion 56M
61 posts
1/21/2006 1:47 am

Be happy to help you screen applicants ... and I speak fluent Canadian eh?

Yours_2_Corrupt 39F

1/21/2006 4:22 am


deliciousngood 64F
1665 posts
1/21/2006 4:49 am

Dang it, I posted this on the caption entry...duh

YES you are....checkout redheaddeb69

DTduzDallas 50F

1/21/2006 4:56 am

I thought it was funny.

ediesedgewick 57F

1/21/2006 5:43 am

Aw. I read your profile, fell in love with you and now am glued to your blog...so what does that say about me? You turn me on more than a deballed cat!

I hope those women got your autoreply--that would have really sent them.

SpunkNLace 47F

1/21/2006 6:20 am

I being a Canadian myself lol , know if you take the time to read your blog along with the profile , it is very evident to see that you are not all serious or jokes, but a nice blend of each.

rm_PeanutJackie 35F
1286 posts
1/21/2006 7:06 am

hilarious profile edit trav!

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."

Babel__Fish 45F

1/21/2006 7:37 am

LMAO..... Glad to see that others get strange mails too!

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
1/21/2006 8:00 am

Bottom line is you wouldn't want to spend your
time with those who write like that even if you
WERE looking. Blog on! You are real and you are
not hiding, Trav...and when the time is right for
you, it will be what it is. In the meantime, you
are EXACTLY where you need to be...taking care of
YOU one day at a time.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
1/21/2006 8:03 am

and now, Goddess is going to go read Trav's
profile and then catch a real time movie and
do lunch with a real time friend

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_goddess1946 105F
13518 posts
1/21/2006 8:08 am

ok...having read the profile...
my hit on this hasn't changed how i have always seen
you, Trav. you are a man with a sense of humor who is
also outspoken. knowing that many a serious thing is
said in jest, if someone doesn't get THAT, they aren't
going to be someone you would enjoy hanging out with

frankly, i thought it was an amusing way of sharing
right where you are TODAY in your life. it is what it is.

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

rm_embwizard 51F
14 posts
1/21/2006 8:51 am

would love to have seen their face when they read your autoreply

duststormdiva 51F
6854 posts
1/21/2006 9:33 am

I personally thought your profile was funny. Anyone who is offended by your comment there need to lighten up. They are probably the type who don't have any luck on this site anyway. Recently I have had the chance to get to know you better, and I am glad I have gained a friend in you.


rm_Bct2Esi 50M/50F
1375 posts
1/21/2006 12:00 pm

Ok I am going to post this and then like always go read what others had to say

I went and re-read your profile, yep I have read it all the way through the first time and this time. Guess what I thought the first and second times of reading it.

ROFLAO, yes that is what I did! Both times, I love your profile, it fits you I also said, wow that takes some balls to post what most woman post in their profiles.

Now I must ask, why is it perfectly OK for a woman to post that, but when a man goes and does this, you are now getting these emails?

As some of us woman have stated more then once on your blog..... "things that make us go hmmmmmmm"

I likes you just the way you are I appreciate your honesty, sincerity, sense of humor, and most of all you

hugs and smiles

now I am taking my pepsi and going to read what others said

benibluetwo 47F

1/21/2006 3:56 pm

Okay, I am a Canadian woman and I am ashamed that those two were not bright enough to catch the humour. I read your profile a long time ago and laughed for days about it. When you said you changed it I re-read it and it was the same one so I never missed anything. NOW I guess I need to email you to see what your auto-reply says LOL.

You are very witty and charming in a BBC humour sort of way. Nothing like a bit of Bat-Fink to get through a dreary day. Off beat and intelligent. I love it. Keep it up.




noradee27 53

1/21/2006 6:32 pm

love your profile think it was funny as hell enjoyed it, i enjoy reading the humourous part of your writing, man your funny

noradee27 53

1/21/2006 6:40 pm

love your profile found it very funny,very entertaining love your humorous side of your writing.

rm_PhxPhatChick 58F
202 posts
1/21/2006 9:38 pm

Personally, I thought your profile was brilliant.

EyeCandy33333 44F
761 posts
1/21/2006 9:47 pm

I think it was good Trav-anyone wanting to keep up with you would be able to catch on and play right back with you. Are you certain you don't want to emm fuck your mother-lol!!!!!!(I'm still laughing over that!)

ThumbChickStool 33F

1/21/2006 9:50 pm

Obviously these women don't know your blog and don't understand your sense of humor. I agree with AGN, that is pretty much what the women on this site are saying only a little more obliquely.

Much love from your favorite Las Vegas native!

womanoirish 53F

1/21/2006 10:54 pm

Hilarious. I have something similar on my profile, but alas, it is turned off right now. Pooh.

Anyway, I figure if men don't like my humor they can go look at the other 69 female profiles on this site. Or they can camp at [blog The] and wait for that man to post something.

womanoirish 53F

1/21/2006 10:58 pm

okay that didn't work. sheesh. Someone stop me before I blog myself.

rm_herestill 56M

1/22/2006 11:03 am

Oh man,half way through your profile,I was laffing so hard my chair broke!Thats so funny!

Luvwetcunt1000 48M
1258 posts
1/22/2006 8:06 pm

Great one Trav! The reponses you got was really funny. I feel sory for those dumb ass bimbos, though!

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
1/22/2006 8:54 pm


I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

1/23/2006 8:15 am

It sure is a bitch when the boot is in the other ass....but it is reassuring to know Guys receive mindless e-mail as well.

I tryde the sepll ckech and like everything esle on this site it dosen't wrok


RoyalPurpleRose 51F

1/24/2006 8:07 am

Too, too funny Trav! I love reading your blog - always makes me smile ... or just plain LOL! Don't ever go away. This place would be dark and loney without you ... and several others. Thanks for making me laugh ... and think ....

~~Kisses, RPR

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/24/2006 4:08 pm

I did realise it was a joke...I did wonder Lord what is going through his mind now?...anybody not already familiar with your sense of humor would wonder, lol...the references to your autoreply make me curious but I wouldn't be brave enough to send a guy as popular as you an email!!! I'll just come harrasss you on your blog, lol...

Seriously...I appreciate how guys feel being the ones that send most of the emails and initiate most first contacts...and often not get a response back...it's easier to reply than to initiate any day...

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
1/24/2006 4:11 pm

then again maybe not or I would be better at answering my emails...I just can't bring myself to do the autoreply thing...

bangingmyhead 54M
157 posts
1/24/2006 6:59 pm

LOL Trav

I wonder if your responders have profiles like yours

Become a member to create a blog