I'll take things that come thru a dog door for a $1000 Alex  

traveling_enigma 48M
23 posts
3/14/2006 7:31 am

Last Read:
9/11/2006 6:33 pm

I'll take things that come thru a dog door for a $1000 Alex

My beautiful white cat with one green eye and one blue eye went out and got herself in a family way.

The father refuses to pay kitten support, so I have a single mom on my hands. She works herself to death trying to feed and raise 5 babies. For whatever reason she is to proud to take the handouts that I lovingly offer, instead she feels that she must go out and hunt.

Gentle readers, I pose this question to you, Have you ever tried to catch a squirrel? What about a chipmunk? or a crow?

I am awed by the fact that with grace this cat can and does catch these things, I am appalled that she insist on bring them into my home alive and then setting them free so that her babies can try to catch them.

As close as I can figure after the catch is set into play the momma cat then functions as a goaly, that is keeping the catch in play.

My dogs play multiple roles, most of the time they are the referees, other times they become so engrossed in the game that they feel it is time to play themselves.

I love my dogs, I love my cat and her babies. But the odds are stacked against me, its 9 of them plus the catch vs. me.

I have a nice home, I have the "formal" living room that I don't use unless its to entertain.

All that was just the background info this is the story.

Last night I had a prospective client and her husband over to my home for dinner and a movie. I served London broil, the best damed mashed taters you will ever have with an assortment of veggies and sauces, I cooked all this myself from scratch. We had finished eating and moved to the living room, my shiatsu pranced in and said hi to every one, my 3 legged collie soon followed, then my black dog that don't know shes a dog brought up the rear, the cat and her kittens were all calm and asleep.

From what I can figure out it happened like this,
My black dog went out the dog door, followed by momma cat, the collie came in the dog door a few min later followed by momma cat and the catch of the day, a chipmunk.

Momma cat got into the living room and let go her prey, under the feet of my still prospective clients husband.

Chipmunk see opportunity for escape up husbands pants leg, momma cat sees escape attempt and tries to block. the game clock is now running.

Chipmunk makes it to pants leg but does not call a time out so its still in play.

Husband screams like a woman, all 3 dogs get involved.

Chipmunk is shaken loose from pants leg and heads for the high ground of my curtains.

Dogs block and chipmunk fakes left, turns right and starts heading for den.

all five kittens block (I have no idea when they got into the room) game clock has been running for 20 seconds now.

Chipmunk spins does a triple axle and heads for client. She jumps to the side hitting coffee table and knocking chess set to floor. I find out at that moment that my boys had infarct not put up all the marbles from Chinese checkers but had hidden them in the drawer that the chess pieces go in.

I now have countless marbles, chess pieces, 1 cat, 5 kittens 3 dogs client and her husband plus my self and the chipmunk in play in my living room, the game clock reads 45 seconds.

Kittens are now batting marbles around the hardwood, dogs are trying to figure out if a foul was made, momma cat catches chipmunk and disembowels it on my hand woven by Turkish kids rug. Client is crying, husband is in shock, dogs rule that the play was good and I am heading for a towel to get rid of the victim.

Game clock stopped at one min 15 seconds.

Me being the smart ass I am had to say something and all I could think of was, Wow that went allot better than the rehearsal today.

White cat has blood on her face and paws and proceeds to clean up.

I start trying to apologies and clean up.

Client excuses herself, husband tries to help cleanup kittens are still batting marbles.

Post game show starts.

client had gone into my bedroom instead of bathroom and guess what site I had left up on my puter?

client comes back into room and seems better. makes comment about my canopy bed saying that she had gone into my bedroom by mistake. Ask if its OK if she shows her husband, I say its fine and ill finish trying to find all the chess men.

a few min later they both return in a better mood.

I explain that I have a radio controlled dog door and that each dog has a thing on the collar that unlocks it and the cat slips in and out after the dogs.

They understand. Husband makes a comment about my books and how he would love to have the shelf space that I do. His client then makes a comment about my network and ask how many computers are on it and security of it things like that.

I see the chance to salvage the evening and keep a client, so I start to show them the setup explain how it works and that it is secure. As I go into my bed room to show them the equipment rack in my closet I see my laptop with this site up, I blush and they both say its OK they are not offended.

Today as I got ready for my day I checked all of my email accounts, my business one had a note from her saying thanks for the evening, my AdultFriendFinder one had a note from them both saying thanks for the site.

rm_CamilleDe 47F

8/17/2006 5:40 am

ok.. I know this was an old journal entry... and I just read it now.. but I had to write and tell you it brought a smile to my face..... that must have been one heck of an evening.....

missing you by the way.


diamondgirl91555 50F

3/7/2011 11:29 am

Even though I am reading this blog entry about 5 years post facto, I was smiling, laughing, crying and OMGing my way through it. This is a hilarious read, thanks for the best laugh I've had in a while! Ellen

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