False alarm  

tmorethorhor1111 91M
2 posts
9/2/2005 2:51 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

False alarm


A Lert:chromium sheethed,conicle collapsing,wafflecone shaped,sand burrowing, axfixiated anal-apperature opening probiscus.Found in irritatingly large swarms to be inhabiting coastal sandbars in and around most nude beaches.Quite restless and agressive in nature,they have been known to cruise malls and the like.Polyurethane orb capable of locating it's prey by sense of smell or espying snail trails left as boundary markers,enables it to circumlocute in orbital grids.Once alerted to the unsuspecting new host,most survivors have reported hearing a high pitched whine prior to a pistonlike thrust from under their beachtowels,the onslaught usually only lasts a few secounds.All the time it needs to vacate it's victems carnal cavity.As this may suggest,creating an overwhelming desire to do the doggie-grass-slide.Most are not fortunate enough to afford a loaf of toast found necessary to lure the Lert back out of it's buggery dungeon.Alas,clutching ones ass,the victim is left to the gulls.Be forewarned and well armed with a trenching tool and pair of pliers.Groups tend to emit an irresistable aroma,leaving most vulnerable to attack.NO WAIT,this was supposed to be about the icecream truck coming to a neighborhood near you soon...oh well.

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