Judgment & Judging Others  

titsrus2 52F
510 posts
11/8/2005 9:23 pm

Last Read:
7/8/2008 4:47 pm

Judgment & Judging Others

Face it. We all do it....see someone on the street and instantly form an opinion about them based on what they're wearing, how they behave, what they're doing. I have found that the older I get, the more judgmental I become. Not that I condemn others for their behavior...for the most part, I believe in live and let live...do what makes you happy as long as you don't harm others, esp. children and animals.

I do enjoy reading the blogs and comments on this site, but some of the things I've read make me laugh and I think they are all smoke, mirrors and fantasies to attract attention the writer would not normally receive.

Sometimes, I feel a slight bit guilty for making assumptions about others and I wonder...is anyone out there truly as open-minded as he or she believes?

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
11/12/2005 9:34 pm

I am....I have learned thru the years that assumptions are as often wrong as true...while we want to believe our experience has taught us well in trusting our 'gut'..we still need to understand that we are still learning new things every day.

I stay open-minded. I trust everyone unti they give me a reason to distrust. Then.....they are in a world of shit...

titsrus2 52F
331 posts
11/13/2005 10:25 am

true, jim...good advice. it's hard to trust those you meet on the internet though. you can't fully guage a person's sincerity without seeing their eyes, their body language, their facial expressions.

and once a person loses your trust, do you allow them the chance to regain it? or are they held at arm's length until you either cool off or forgive and forget?

Priapeo 46M

11/16/2005 6:45 am

I think I already commented on someone else's post on the same topic, last week. I too believe that it is inevitable to have prejudices... pre-judgements, that is, just like you say, ideas you form out of details like hairdos, clothing, gesticulation etc. It's the very first form of knowledge, but also one to be abandoned as soon as possible.

What I argue is that it is impossible to behave open-mindedly if you are approached by, (or approach), someone: the prejudices you've instantly summoned by looking at him will affect your behaviour, at least in the beginning. This is a very elemental rule... i will behave differently if I'm talking with a policeman or with a grocer, with a well-dressed rampant young man or with an old lady.

Being open minded means being able to evolve from these prejudices. The example you give however has nothing to do with prejudices but with judgement, and this seems to be the scope of your question. Once a person loses my trust and I have judged her i let things cool a bit before starting again whatever relationship on a new basis. I'm not one who irrevocably severs ties with people, unless the feeling is fully mutual. But I need some time to ponder on things, to form a sort of "flexible judgement".

P.S. However be it, I too believe that many things here are smoke, mirrors and fantasies to attract attention.

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

titsrus2 52F
331 posts
11/16/2005 9:36 pm

i agree, priapeo. i think the older you get, the harder it is to truly see someone new without bringing your own prior baggage and preconceptions to the table and judging them in the process. flexibility is a must...being rigid in this case would be useless.

Justforfungirl5 49F
68 posts
12/12/2005 7:59 pm


I noticed that I became more judgmental the older I got as well. It only stands to reason. After all, you do something repeatedly you get quite good at it, no? I think the trick is that with age comes also understanding (hopefully). I've noticed that I have more compassion as well which balances things out.

Thanks for your visit to my blog, chica. Eres muy linda! ~~JFFG

titsrus2 52F
331 posts
12/26/2005 6:37 pm

thanks, justforfun. i think that the older we get, the more our worlds close in upon us.

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