another weekend ahead ...  

tipadee 36F
1316 posts
9/30/2005 1:24 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

another weekend ahead ...

This shit is getting annoying. The week was long enough with out having to deal with AdultFriendFinder. OF COURSE the time I don't copy it to my clip board, it disappears. NICE HUH?

What that post said was that I had a long week, nothing good or bad just long. I am not going to get into anything major right now. Just family bull.

Mostly I am upset because because I just had a breakthrough. It was about two boxes. Lonely, kinda heavy boxes. I needed to get them out of the shed, because my warmer clothes are in there, as well as some dressier outfits. What can I say, you never know when things are gonna go your way. What do you think the chances are that your fuck buddy would do something great outside the bedroom, not that it doesn't happen, it's not something you'd expect.

ANYWAY ... These boxes were filed away when I started he-tox in May. If you don't know what that is, detox for the post-breakup girl. When you need to get rid of free time, not to thing about the scum, to get on with things. I started may crying daily, several times, and gradually it tapered to none. I realized today that it worked.

This man that had crushed my soul, sent me two boxes with clothes and a few odds and ends, and I just realized that the asshole kept my stereo, anyway, this man treated me worse the anyone has in my whole life. I was belittled, teased, ignored and left alone. He made sure that I had no self esteem or self worth, always went out of his way to say something horrible, then would isolate me. I was never allowed to talk to friends or family, if we ran into them on the few times a month we left the house, I was a stranger. It seemed like the only time that he talked to me was to say something bad, and then he would go days without saying anything to me at all. After we broke up, I was a mess. I cried all the time. EVERYTHING reminded me of him. He had broke me, and I didn't think it was possible. It was bad, I think I was at the point where if I didn't get over this, and quick, that I would be a shell of a person. I didn't want that. I was better then that. I have to tell you, that the he-tox was harder the the relationship was. I had to convience myself that I wasn't worthless, and that I am beautiful. INSIDE AND OUT.

Ironically enough, I would do it again, because it has taught me so much, about myself and others, and this was a life altering experence. I am completely different now. I am a better person because of it. BEST OF ALL, I am completely over him. I have no good or bad wishes for him and his life. Just as long as he's not in mine, I don't give a ....

SO have a great weekend, and don't do anything that my grandma's pastor wouldn't do....

dano6332 56M

10/14/2005 2:06 pm

what a jack ass he is. The only good thing he will be alone long after you have met someone who will treat you as an equal. Good for you.

rm_00sweet 40M
7 posts
10/8/2005 4:24 pm

How do you keep his head spinning? Self-love, graceful gait and holding yourself strictly accountable for your own happiness. Look for bliss in others and you are in trouble. A punctured self-esteem is what you get in return. Keep being strong for those of us who love strong women. Peace.

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