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True Hollywood Story
True Hollywood Story
I decided once that there was a reason that I wasn't skinny. I would be such a skeezer. Jenna Jameson would have nothing on me. Neither would Devine. I would rule the porno underworld, and eventually drown. This is how it would go ...
I was always interested in cock, since the third grade, when I learned how to spell it. Life would revolve around it from her on out. The first time I saw one was right around my fourteenth birthday, and my cousin went to prison soon after. He would always be around when I needed him, helping with shoots and anything he could. High school would spit me out validictorian, but that had mostly to do with an mostly male staff and my mind blowing mouth. Headed off to Yale, but there would be little time spend in class, as this is when it all started.
About 6 weeks into my freshman year, I was at the Burger King, hanging with some new friends, and the guy asked if we wanted to be in his movie. NOOO ... but I took his card anyway. He would be my daughter's godfather (and future husband). Next thing I remember was calling him, and John inviting me to have dinner with him and some friends. Little did I know that all dinner included a load of cum, and a shot of tequila.
School had to wait, I was going to be a star! We had a plan and there was no one that could stop us.
It would always be "my first time". More then likely "my 18th birthday" and "just barely" ... that would cover just about my whole career. With my baby face and smallish tits, I pulled it off very well. Pigtails and shave pussy's made sure of it.
I would never make it to playmate of the year, or month, because I would never do anything that classy. It wasn't about respect, it was about my ability to DV/DA. I would have some discusting friends, and lots of orgys. Life was good.
Ron Jeremy would have my number on his speed dial, a closet full of my clothes, toothbrush and a copy of my W4 ... taxes. Damn taxes. That is what I will finally go to prison for, Ron screwing me out of money ... tax evasion. My cousin was right about one thing in all his time spent with me, and it was that I should have never let Ron do my taxes, an accountant was a better idea.
However, in some fucked up court room I would be sent to a mens prison and that is when I will make a series called "Tippy does SingSing" and the request of Ron, and (his old college roommate and former co-star) the Warden. Life would get rough. I'd pop an implant, chip a tooth, started taking heroine and the final straw, forget to shave my ass, and that was when I was sent on Fear Factor. Nothing scarier then a washed up "18 going on 33" year old, porn star with a sand paper tongue and cold sores.
It only gets worse from here. Come to find out I was only sentenced to 8 months, and I was there making that series for over four years. Man, what a shitty time, and my shit was all stretched out.
There will be more legal battles, unauthorized biographies and photos released, jobs at Walmart and Chick-fil-a, until my (pre-pubesent) body is finally photoshop'd under Rosie O'Donnell's face. During this time I find GOD and change my ways. Mostly, giving up the DV/DA's and heroine.
Today I am living in Utah with my three husbands, 17 sister wifes, and over 40 children, not really sure how many came out of my vagina. All I know is I love GOD and LIME JELLO.
Your sister in christ,
Like I said, there is a reason I am not skinny.
12/16/2005 7:42 pm
12/8/2005 7:41 pm
great story!! I'm not kidding when I tell you I'm clapping my hands right now. There's at least two "what if" scenarios I wanted to write on my blog and not sure if I can pull it off this well. Ron Jeremy doing your taxes!? thats just wrong!|