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Cold world out there
Cold world out there
OK, I'm already admitting my story is about as pathetic as can be found out there. But shit, this is a cold fucking world on AdultFriendFinder. I'm going to use this blog to complain about some of the shit I have found.
I extend myself, I think, quite a lot to try to meet women. If you see the handle, you know the motivation. I'm not just some horny fucker out for a quick thrill, I am out seeking the necessary experience I have missed in order to move forward in my life. My time is limited, not because I am impatient but because I am old. Many of my contemporaries are already needing Viagara just to function. How long before I lose my ability to perform? Well shit, I have barely experienced life and (now that I have cleared the first hurdle) I must advance as quickly as possible to catch up. As a result I am taking every opportunity I can generate to meet women.
What do I find? I found a woman I conversed with for weeks. We used e-mail, IM and even the phone. I think we hit it off quite well. She too was low on experience and eager to explore (what a fucking nice euphomism for "I don't know what I'm doing") as I am. No, I didn't admit to just how little I know. We actually had a lot of personality traits in common--I'll avoid the specifics for obvious reasons. So like all AdultFriendFinder contacts, she didn't live in my area code, or even an adjacent area code. I had to drive an hour and a half to meet in a fucking Denny's. Don't get me wrong, she was no hottie. Rather on the heavy side and not anybody's definition of god's gift to men. But I went for it. I spilled my guts out about what a great guy I am, not in an egotistical fashion but even though I am a loser sexually and socially, I really do have my shit together in other regards. And I can converse when G rated. But on IM and even on the phone we both had made it clear that we have issues of talking sex in person. It is my character flaw that has made solving this virginity thing so difficult. But short of just how recently I had solve the virginity thing, she got to know just about everything about me that could be covered in three hours. Yes, three fucking hours in a Denny's. I wanted her to be comfortable with me because we had discussed how much we both wanted to spend time together, exploring the sex both of us had missed. I figured it was a done deal as long as I can demonstrate that I am a reasonable guy and am not some psychopath, asshole or whatever. So how does it end? I'm sorry, lets be friends. I just don't feel the spark. FUCK. I've got another hour and a half drive back home. Weeks on the mail, IM and phone. Six fucking hours, the better part of a day, dedicated to meet this girl to get "Lets be friends."
Look ladies, if you are going to pull this kind of shit, no wonder you run into so many impatient, directly goal oriented guys. Because there is no reward to playing your games, quite the contrary, there is only the penalty of the waste of time.
So I am trying hard to experience actual sex. If I seem impatient, it is not because I am an asshole or a bad guy. I really, sincerely am quite the opposite. But if you are not interested in really, actually doing the skin to skin sex that I seek, I must move on. And, without the trappings of any additional BS, if you do want to play, please hit on me. I will show up, I will perform to the best of my ability and I will probably be the most cooperative lover you have ever had.