Because I am Man  

texcougar8 48M/45F
9 posts
6/12/2006 9:55 pm
Because I am Man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a

coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.

Calling AAA is not an option.

I will win.

_________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the

hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.

If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be

able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and

everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy

communion.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup

and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.

You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no

problem.

_______________________________________

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at

the store, like milk or bread.

I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."

For all I know, these are the same thing.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will

insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me

twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back

together.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand

while I watch TV.

If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it

. . .

. . . although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. ..

(applies to engineers mainly).

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.

The true answer is always either sex, cars, sports.

I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your

mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her

any more than I have to.

Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is ok - I don't need to see it.

And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.

Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . .

. . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . .

. . . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it

to others.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.

I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.

Either pair of shoes is fine.

With the belt or without it, looks fine.

Your hair is fine. You look fine.

Can we just go now?

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share

equally in the housework.

You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and

the dishes, and I'll do the rest . . .

. . like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to

do.

____________________________________________

Because I'm a man, I will often think that I am right before coming

to the realization that I am wrong since you are always(to you)/usually(to me) right...

and I will continue to think such at first despite always(to you)/usually(to me) being wrong...

because I'm a man.

This is a public service message for women to better understand men !



~Tex & Cougar~


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