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Letter to Erik Estrada
Letter to Erik Estrada
I turned on the TV and I see Ponch from CHiPs peddling resort vacation homes.
What in sweet Moses are you thinking my friend? Didn't I see you hawking pay per use telephone service not long ago? What gives bro?
Yes, I am a freak kid who followed CHiPs in the late 80's. My dream was to be a California Highway Patrolman. I wanted to be you....Ponch! I wanted to wear the cool uniform, ride a harley all day, carry a gun (but never fire it in any episode) and pick up 80's hot chicks riding in A-Team style vans heading for Malibu.
Until I hit the brick wall of reality. It only took several ride along's with LA's Finest and that dream was chucked to the weeds. Hehehe....I really don't want to get shot by a trigger happy teenage gangbanger in south central Los Angeles. Damn...somehow I never saw that episode Ponch! I thought criminals were redneck California bikers driving beat up vans that caused 100-car pile-ups on I-5 by swerving into oncoming traffic (pause..whew) after getting blinded by a construction truck carrying 20 by 20 foot mirrors. I was ready for those...not ganbangers. And I was set on being a skilled motorcycle rider like you; arriving at the scene in FIVE minutes after ditching your lunch at a hotdog stand in Santa Monica. Self preservation kicked-in and I figured I could do better with my life.
Well...I was wrong....hehe...just kidding...I made the right choice..I think. But I do regret not having to ride police motorcycle. Not answering a radio call "Seven Mary Five 10-20 to 287 (any cops reading this...please don't flame me...its been a while). Damn..and I shot pretty good too at the pistol range. I can do a lot of damage with a Sat-nite special.
Why brother?...why? why? oh why are you wasting that god given talent in infomercial hell? Wasn't the few years stint in Spanish soap opera purgatory enough? You are continually eroding my warped sense of respect for the original Super Trooper...Poncherelli. Please, please, please put an end to moonlighting in the infomercial community before you start wearing multicolored knit sweaters and Dockers pants. End the madness...Save the humanity...Bring back CHiPs!
- bring back CHiPs but...we can do without that geeky annoying mechanic (whatever his name) who's a wannabe James Bond's Q.
-And git rid of the fat trooper. Bad for morale.
-Oh hey! How about new Ford Mustang GT's for cruisers and HD VRod for patrol bikes.
-And whoa...almost forgot...bring back the entire female cast of Baywatch Hawaii as patrol women.
-And for chrissakes shoot somebody already during new episodes....hmmm...maybe shoot your partner, John. He was pretty much useless too.
Seven Mary Five OUT