I can't believe  

tehbigjuan 39M
0 posts
6/7/2006 2:52 am

Last Read:
6/11/2006 3:59 am

I can't believe

I know a girl. Shes a party girl. She loves to get hammered about 80% of the time. The thing is, she could be anything. She could do anything in the world she wants to, and she wants to be Miss Party Girl. And who am I to stop her from destroying herself, right? I'm a hypocrite. I drink on occasion. I smoke joints on occasion.

But this is different. I can tell you everything that happened the night before. I can tell you what I was doing and whom with. She is starting to scare me. I just think she has reached an infinite sadness that may be incurable. And this is a dangerous path for someone hell bent on destroying their world. They never realize the unselfish thought: What about everyone else I'm going to hurt by doing this? Ah but the addict doesn't bother with these small details. Get the next fix and move on. Like a plague.

I even asked her if she would leave all that shit behind and be in a serious relationship with me. She just blew me off as usual.

Oh when Lord, when? When do I meet the girl whose only slightly crazy. I can deal with that. It's just the totally fucking insane ones that I always end up with that make me question whether or not I even want to try and meet a woman.

But thats a lie to myself. I do want to meet someone. But I hate church about as much as I hate bars, so I'm stuck in a self imposed purgatory. Maybe someone will get me one day. For now, I would settle for TALKING to a woman.

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