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Soul Mates and Divorce
I think people in relationship with us will always be compelled to show us to ourselves. I have seen many people change mates only to see the same problems appear in the new ones.
If your romantic relationship situation improves, it's a sure sign that you have changed something within yourself for the better.
Our worlds are our concepts of self and life made visible. We want someone to lean on, to entertain us, to make our lives exciting. We don't want to take the responsibility of doing it for ourselves. This short circuits our sovereignty and will end in disappointment.
When we work on becoming a self sufficient, self entertaining, self exciting human being, we begin to attract mates of a higher caliber in the food chain of life.
When we sit and wait for someone else to bring us this magnificent package of compatibility we don't realize that they are the delivery man carrying a giant mirror. These others in our lives are made of reflective glass not flesh and blood.
Don't accept the appearance for the reality. The senses deliver a hopelessly skewed version of reality and can't be trusted.
Marriage has utterly failed as an institution because it arranges unions of convenience and convention. The true purpose of union is to be mutually clear and accurate reflectors of each other to facilitate self understanding, to be able to see what you are throwing out there. The contents of our consciousness is much too near to see and understand until we project and dramatize it onto the screen of space and time, into the multiplicity of relationship for our viewing pleasure.
When the other persons behavior is bothersome it should throw up a flag for self examination for the source of the displeasure. We are at the creative center of our own realities laboring under the illusion of separation. All we see is an extrusion of our self laid out into the world around us. The very purpose of the illusion of relationship, or the myth of otherness, is to enable the understanding and definition of ourselves.
Popular song and culture has us thinking that we are nothing without some mystical "other half" that will complete us. Wake up and shake yourself, you are dreaming. If you want sanity, compatibility and joy in a relationship then get your own house in order. These elements have to be arranged first within your own consciousness, then all who are in relationship will under compulsion, reflect these back to us.