Party Tips... Part Two  

tall501boots 50M
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1/25/2006 11:59 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Party Tips... Part Two

as if part one wasn't good enuff... we bring you more in the "Uncommonly Common Sense Things to Think of When Attending a Party" series... lol


No really does mean No. If the invite, evite, email, phone call, text msg, host, hostess, manager, bartender, desk clerk, bellhop, pool attendant, security guard, police officer or town official says No... it means NO.

This applies to signs, sounds, sights, costumes, substances or a licit or illicit nature, livestock, minors, seniors, language, clothing (or lack thereof), toys, midgets and various and sundry other conditions.

Violate at your own risk... and remember to keep bail money and a phone number tucked away somewhere safe. Nothing bums a good party like a call from jail.


The Big Obvious. For Newbies.

I'f you're appearing at a party for the first time... try to remember this nugget of wisdom - at the peril of losing what respect you may have gained so far.

People will see and meet you now.

You're no longer sheltered behind the electronic fortresses of email, IM, A*F*F* and some blurry pics. It's all you out there now, baby. Naked (so to speak) to the world.

Doesn't matter what you said in chat anymore... and we can figure out now just how old those profile pics actually are... can hear your voice... see you smile...

And get to watch you and see what you're really about...



Looks like you're gonna score there, hey Sparky? Things are goin' pretty well for you tonight, eh, big fella? Well, guess what, friend... you just forgot about one small thing...


That's right, pal. It's now 3:00 in the morning... you can't see an open anything for miles in any direction... and you've got nothing on you to wrap that rascal with except for an empty cellophane from a pack of smokes...

Is that the way an adult would approach things, Sparky?

Well, maybe you can ask her if she happens to have some... no, hey... now what kind of impression would that leave, pal? Wouldn't that mean that she's a known... loose woman? Shudder.

No, Sparky. That's not the way. Remember your Boy Scout training and always "be prepared". Better safe than sorry, pal.

And hey, Sparky... if at the end of the night, you end up taking that box back home with you... seal unbroken... price sticker unscratched... reciept still stuck in your wallet...

you can always soothe those blue balls and your frustration by using them to make water balloons to lob at the paperboy and the mailman.

Sorry pal.


Remember - no matter where you are, there are some of "them" around.

You know. The non-A*F*F*ers. The general public. The less-than-liberal, unliberated conservatives at large.

Or as Bill Murray said in Ghostbusters: "'re scaring the straights".

Whatever lifestyle you're living... or might aspire to live... remember, there's a lot more people out there who may not have the most flattering opinion about that. If you don't really give a shit about them or their opinions, more power to you... but don't forget that they're still around.

And nothing kills the party like a raid, a bust or general harrasment instigated by some narrow-minded freak because of some supposed slight.

Try to be aware of your surroundings... and don't do anything that can might screw up the whole scene for everyone else. Use a little common sense... adults, right?


part three soon


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