thoughts at the end of this day  

tadpudgy 56M
863 posts
7/19/2006 8:56 pm
thoughts at the end of this day

i am having trouble sleeping. god, will work drag on tomorrow! struggling with the emotions of standing up a nice woman who seemed very interested in me to be a f*** buddy. i believe i would not have lost it emotionally, had she not had a partner. She obviously loves her wife, but the sex has died. yet, she wanted discretion so she could spare any issues. what would happen if things came out? i have apologized and she is open to staying friends. but i am mad at myself for standing her up anyway. it has been 4-years but i am obviously not over the hurt done to me when she went to be with a married man whenever he snapped his fingers, and still look me in the eyes and say "i love you". and when i said farewell, then she suggested we could be f*** buddies on occasion. maybe the similarities were so close that i let myself be overwhelmed.

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