tadpudgy 56M
863 posts
8/9/2006 5:40 pm

Last Read:
8/12/2006 4:05 pm


I mentioned the day i was gearing up to go to Charlotte, that on top of visiting Charlotte, i was going to alot some 'quiet time' to take a closer look at my life. Where i have been, where i am at, and where i want to be. It is never that easy. I do a lot of writing on legal pads and start putting down thoughts and emotions. Maybe i can put them in some sort of order and then reflect. Sometimes, this turns into an exercise in futility, and sometimes, it helps. I am 45-years old. Never married. No children. I take care of family, especially mom. I was in a wonderful relationship with someone who accepted me and the "luggage". She had hers too. She left when a married man started missing her, and he was her "crack cocaine". I have been emotionally hiding for over 4-years. Tried a couple of dates but to no avail. Got on board the computer world. Hoped i could catch on to wave of on-line hook-up's. Nothing. Only positive...blogging. I have self-esteem issues, that i know. I am my own worst critic and enemy. I have adopted laughter to substitute for the tears. But, every day i spend alone, how far will the laughter take me? i sound like i am wallowing in self-pity or what?! Great big hug=gasms to all!!

rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
8/9/2006 9:13 pm

's on the cheek, as she wipes away the tear... It's gonna be alright,, really it is... Trust me..



Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c

tadpudgy replies on 8/10/2006 1:51 am:
Thanks for having a great big heart, on top of your many assets! hope the rest of my posts are about anything but me. i must sound pathetic. but appreciate your sincerity!

VTLakesideVixen 60F
458 posts
8/10/2006 3:59 am

Tad, Sweetie you do not sound that way to me! I wish you were closer, I would give you a big old hug Honey! While you think that you were hiding out, what you were really doing is recharging your batteries --after all, I also am in a position to know that it takes a great deal of emotional energy to care for one's parents--especially Moms, and that is saying nothing of the physical toll!

Some woman, some day is going to end up with a wonderful man, you Tad! Don't fret as to the time that this will happen for it will happen when you least expect it to. Just live your life as you should--remember, Good things come to those who wait.

Big-Hugs to you Tad.


tadpudgy replies on 8/10/2006 5:04 pm:
I know. Today has been a good day. And my focuses have been on positive things, and mostly laughter! My mom still works. She has a Pinnacle One franchise. She does alot of things on her own. She goes through the medicine ritual: Combuvant, Advair, Glucotrol, Glucophage, Albuterol, etc. Sucks on a nebulizer. Doesn't have to be on an oxygen tank.......yet. Refuses to quit smoking. She and i do ballroom dancing together. But, sometimes, i have to tell the girls at her office to cancel appts, or whatever, when i know she needs to stay home. Or, if i am off, i take her to/from work. The toll it takes can be hard on us. But she is mom, and i love her, and i feel i can't do enough some times! Many warm hugs to you Vixen...James

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