a lesson never learned  

swooness 34F
879 posts
7/7/2006 1:08 pm

Last Read:
11/19/2006 11:12 am

a lesson never learned


a numb silence purges through these walls -
sturdy walls that were built to sustain the strongest winds, heaviest downpour
and, at least I had hoped, even the sweetest touch.

the same familiar poisonous touch that had ran through the course of my veins,
and that had left its painful mark in the hollow pit of my chest.
disgustingly, despite everything ‒ I insanely welcomed it again.
like a man thirsty for more,
though knowing the liquid he craves caused his insides to bleed and his skin to sizzle and burn.

and now that everything is once again against me:
as everything that comes to my lips bears the never-changing bitter taste;
the sun no longer brightening my face despite the cloudless sky;
water failing to quench the dry, rasping Sahara of my mouth;
and the sandman unable to will his magic on my restless sleep.

therefore,
the only hope is the difficult cessation brought upon by myself.
so, here I go:
with incomprehensible ramblings and toxic understandings,
I bulldoze the old walls
and rebuild taller, thicker, and never-ending walls
with newer, stronger-willed vows as the base.

swooness 34F

7/7/2006 1:17 pm

nothing and always is personal if that makes sense...just reflecting on the past.

tomorrow's forecast should be brighter


greendragon65 51M
396 posts
7/7/2006 6:49 pm

Don't build new walls, just keep them down..


rm_Bonerazor 37M

7/8/2006 7:48 am

Think of it this way, it's not the size of the walls that count, rather than the material it's made out of. Throwing up bigger and bigger barriers will only lead to disappointment because no one can ever climb over them and then in despair you'll relent and disappoint yourself. Think of your walls as being smaller, flexible nets...sponges if you will. Allowing others the opportunity to access you to a degree you're comfortable with (within the rules you apply). Be assertive and accept perspective without being gullible, but mostly as with anything in life be careful, observant, and proactive.

If someone violates the permissions you have set for them, then simply bounce them out of your nets.


swooness 34F

7/9/2006 7:41 am

    Quoting greendragon65:
    Don't build new walls, just keep them down..
easier said then done maybe just this once...


swooness 34F

7/9/2006 7:44 am

    Quoting rm_Bonerazor:
    Think of it this way, it's not the size of the walls that count, rather than the material it's made out of. Throwing up bigger and bigger barriers will only lead to disappointment because no one can ever climb over them and then in despair you'll relent and disappoint yourself. Think of your walls as being smaller, flexible nets...sponges if you will. Allowing others the opportunity to access you to a degree you're comfortable with (within the rules you apply). Be assertive and accept perspective without being gullible, but mostly as with anything in life be careful, observant, and proactive.

    If someone violates the permissions you have set for them, then simply bounce them out of your nets.
Allowing others the opportunity to access you to a degree you're comfortable with (within the rules you apply).

again...easier said than done. and what happens if you are the one who breaks your own rules?


gjg1965 51M

7/9/2006 2:06 pm

hum My thought was to put some windows in the wall.Now you can see what is out side.I am a carpenter I build walls and houses every day.There are many other aspects to building a well built house.Breaking your own rules,don,t live in the past. live for the day.I just got back from the beach,and Italy got the cup. george


swooness 34F

7/9/2006 2:57 pm

    Quoting gjg1965:
    hum My thought was to put some windows in the wall.Now you can see what is out side.I am a carpenter I build walls and houses every day.There are many other aspects to building a well built house.Breaking your own rules,don,t live in the past. live for the day.I just got back from the beach,and Italy got the cup. george
put some windows in the wall.Now you can see what is out side

I like windows and if i could, i would live in a glass house always letting the light in or watching in awe the storm above and around me


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